All Alone on the Overnight Train
Chugga-chugga. Chugga-chugga.
The train rocked Totto as it chugged along in the dark, bound for Aomori Prefecture. She could see nothing at all through the window. Totto was perched in the middle of a two-seater bench. At her sides were not her mother, Noriaki-chan, or Mari-chan, however, but a middle-aged man and woman, neither of whom she knew. She was all alone. In her right hand, she clutched the train ticket Mother had given her as well as a note that read: Ueno, Fukushima, Sendai, Morioka, Shiriuchi.
It was the middle of March in the year the war would end.
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That morning, Totto had headed for Ueno Station with her mother, her brother Noriaki-chan, and her sister Mari-chan, who was not yet one. The station was swarming with people and the ground rumbled as adults with armfuls of luggage jostled to get toward the train entrance gates. Mother carried a bag on her back and Mari-chan in a baby sling in front, while holding Noriaki-chan’s hand with her left hand and another large bag with her right. Totto tried to take her little brother’s free hand, but a stranger ran into her and nearly knocked her down, yelling, “Out of my way!”
“Mother!” Totto screamed.
“Should we get split up for any reason, do what you must to board the train bound for Aomori. Be sure to get off at Shiriuchi Station. That’s where you’ll find me, Noriaki-chan, and Mari-chan.” Mother handed Totto the train ticket and memo with the station names: Ueno, Fukushima, Sendai, Morioka, and Shiriuchi (now called Hachinohe). She looked frightfully serious.
It was nearly impossible to get from the entrance gates to the platform. Totto tried to stick close to Mother, but the crowd squeezed in around her like a vice and before she knew it, she was surrounded by unfamiliar middle-aged men. All sorts of bags smacked her painfully in the face and made it difficult to breathe. She felt less like she was walking on her own two feet and more as though she were being carried along by a crushing stream of luggage. It was terrifying.
Her mother and siblings were being pulled farther and farther away. Totto didn’t know what to do. As soon as the train came into view, all the adults pressed forward with renewed speed.
“Eee!”
Totto was sent flying across the platform and fell flat on her behind. She turned toward the train and saw people shoving each other aside to wedge themselves onboard or throwing their bags in through the windows, then climbing in after.
It seemed Totto’s mother and siblings had made it.
But what should she do…?
The station attendant’s voice echoed across the platform to announce the train’s departure. Just then, Totto spotted Mother through a window. Their eyes met.
“We’ll be waiting at Shiriuchi Station.”
Totto knew that was what her mother mouthed.
Filled far beyond capacity, the steam train emitted a low whistle and pulled out of the station. The platform, which had been flooded with people moments earlier, all but emptied out.
✦ ✦ ✦
“When is the next train to Aomori?” Totto asked a station attendant who appeared terribly busy.
“There aren’t any extra trains today, so the next one won’t be until eight o’clock tonight. Are you going to Aomori by yourself, little lady?”
“Yes. I couldn’t get on the last train, so I promised my family that I would meet them at Shiriuchi Station.”
“That’s tough,” the attendant said with sympathy. “Look, I’ll let you know when it’s time to head to the platform. Just don’t go far.”
The Tohoku Line was apparently running nonstop, shuttling passengers back and forth between Tokyo and the northern area of mainland Japan known as the Tohoku region. Inbound trains arrived and emptied out, only to fill up immediately with new riders and depart. As Totto sat in a corner of the platform and waited for the Aomori-bound train, she saw others set off for places like Utsunomiya to the north of Tokyo and Shirakawa to the west. Over and over, the platform was overrun with people, then cleared out between departures.
Totto watched the crowds come and go. Eventually, day gave way to night.
“It’s almost time. You can get in line over there. Travel safely,” the station attendant from earlier told her. Totto did as instructed and took her place at the front of the line on the platform. Before long, she heard thundering footsteps and turned to see a wave of people rushing toward her.
“Not again,” she thought, bracing herself. A woman next to her advised, “Plant your feet on the ground so you don’t get knocked down.” Totto looked up to see a middle-aged woman with cheeks as red as apples smiling down at her.
The instant the doors to the train headed for Aomori opened, Totto gave a little shout and leapt into the car. People poured in behind her and pushed her down the aisle toward the very back. Just as she feared she would be crushed, the apple-cheeked woman snatched up her hand and made a snug little space for her in the middle of a two-seater bench.
“You’re a skinny girl. You can fit right here,” she said, holding Totto close.
Totto scanned the train and saw six adults in every four-person bench box, with two or three more passengers on the floor by their feet. The aisles, too, were crammed with people. Totto was fortunate to have gotten a seat, as every available spot and every inch of floor space was filled within seconds.
The steam locomotive blew its powerful whistle. Totto heard the grinding of machinery as it began to leave Ueno Station and crawl forward in the dark, north to Aomori. They were scheduled to arrive in Shiriuchi a little after noon the following day. Would Totto be able to find Mother and her siblings?
Weighed down by its heavy load of passengers and their fears, the train slowly picked up speed.
✦ ✦ ✦
I Need to Go Pee Pee
No one spoke on the train.
For fear of an air raid, a blackout like the one at home was in effect on board, too. It was early spring and still very cold, and Totto was hungry, so she thought she might as well try to sleep. She’d been fortunate enough to find a spot to sit, after all. But the seats were made of hard wood, and with the constant vibration of the train traveling up from her feet, her bottom soon became quite sore.
Her nerves didn’t help, either. No matter how tightly she shut her eyes, she couldn’t drift off to sleep. Totto gave up the attempt and opened her backpack to stroke her favorite black-and-white stuffed animal. It was the softest thing she had brought with her, and touching it helped to calm her a little.
Whenever they stopped at a station, more bags came flying in through the windows, followed by another gaggle of people who climbed aboard with apologies. The train pulled up to a new station every ten minutes or so; each time, Totto braced herself, heart racing, for someone to come crawling in through the window by her seat.
Soon, she noticed that passengers were also climbing out of the windows, bidding “Good day” as they left. Those seated on the floor nearby helped pull people in from outside and pass bags to those who were disembarking. The air had been fraught with tension when the train first departed Ueno Station, but once passengers had settled into their spots, the mood became one of surprising cooperation.