“Look, see?” Kotou showed me her phone again. It had the instructions for the app on it that time, and they were, well, basic. It really did more or less just say, “Show the screen to someone and they’ll be hypnotized!” With such a simple and straightforward UI, even old folks who grew up in the age before smartphones could use it!
“Question.”
“Ask away, Kunugicchi-kun!”
“Wouldn’t this end up hypnotizing you?”
“Wha?”
“I mean, you see the screen when you start up the app, right?”
“Oh, I guess so... But I’m not the person I’m trying to hypnotize, so it wouldn’t work, right?”
“How would the app figure out who you are and aren’t trying to hypnotize? Your smartphone’s not that smart—it can’t tell who’s using it.”
“Hmm... But you can communicate with your phone and stuff, can’t you? Like, the whole ‘okay Gurgle’ thing?” Ping! Kotou’s phone swapped over from the hypnosis app to the voice recognition screen. “Ah, no! That’s not what I meant!”
“I’m sorry, I do not understand.”
Kotou growled at her phone. She looked like she was just about ready to throw down with it.
“If that’s what you call communicating, I’d hate to see the alternative,” I said as I lightly chopped her on the head. You can’t drop a line like that without a snappy comeback smack. “Anyway, what were you even planning on doing with a hypnosis app? Why would you need to make someone follow your every... Wait. This situation—in the storehouse—wait, no, seriously?”
“I’m pretty sure I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong.”
“How can you be so sure about that?!”
“Uhh, because it’s about me? Of course I do.”
I paused. “I, uhh, meant, ‘How can you be so sure you know what I’m thinking?’”
“C’mon, this is you we’re talking about! You were thinking that I was planning on hypnotizing you and making you do dirty stuff with me, right? You pervy little monkey!” Yup. Spot on. Can’t object. And honestly, if she had been thinking along those lines, it would’ve meant trouble in like a thousand different ways, so I’m sorta relieved she was right after all. “I was just testing it on you, that’s all! You were my guinea pig.”
“Ouch!”
“You gotta be merciless about these things to get by! It’s like how nobles used to raise pigs for fun, only to eat them in the end—you’ve gotta accept that this world’s a cruel, unfeeling place and just roll with it.”
“What a tragic world we live in.” In other words, I’m no different than a pig to the slaughter. Actually, you couldn’t even eat me in the end, so I’m worth even less than that. “Just hypothetically, what would you’ve ordered me to do if it had worked?”
“Not telling! It’s super embarrassing.”
“Oh, come on.”
“It would’ve been fine if you’d been hypnotized since you wouldn’t have known what was happening, but you’re totally aware right now! I don’t wanna expose all my deep, secret desires!”
“You’re sensitive about the weirdest things.” We’d already more or less confirmed that she wasn’t planning on giving any lewd orders, so how could it possibly be that bad? And what could possibly be more embarrassing than getting taken in by an obviously fake hypnosis app and actually trying to use it?
“Well... I was thinking I’d have you hand over all your cash or something.”
“You were gonna mug me?!”
“Hey, high school maidens have to work on a high school budget! A girl’s gonna have priorities!”
“Yeah, okay, money’s important; you got me there!” I figure a lot of people would jump right to thinking about how to make money if they somehow got their hands on supernatural powers. We get led around by the nose by money from the moment we’re born to the moment we die, when all’s said and done. “And when your little clinical trial was over, what next? Were you gonna use it on Kaito?”
“Huh? Why would I do that?”
“Wait, you weren’t?”
“Nah, ’course not. What are you, stupid?” And now she’s treating me like an idiot! Actually, I think I might’ve weirded her out. I was so sure she’d use it on Kaito and fulfill all her raging hormonal desires. “I wouldn’t use something like this on anyone other than you, Kunugicchi! I mean, c’mon, it’s dangerous, right? What if the hypnosis never goes away, and you end up spending the rest of your life as a spaced-out vegetable?”
“Fair enough... Wait, no, you thought that was on the table and tried it on me without a word of explanation anyway? That’s pretty horrible of you, don’t you think, Kotou-san?!”
“I would’ve taken responsibility if you got vegetablized!” she said, holding up her head proud and tall. Not that what she said was anything to be proud about... And yet, I found myself just a little moved anyway. I never imagined that Kotou valued her friendship with me that deeply! “I’d take responsibility and dump you in the ocean!”
“Don’t kill me!”
“Ha ha ha, kidding, kidding! But for real, though, you’re the only one I could count on for something like this. I mean, you and Kaito are the only guys I’m even friends with.”
“What? Don’t you have tons of guy friends?”
“I mean, like, the sort of friends you can talk about stupid crap with,” she clarified with a slightly bashful grin. “I was really happy when you made friends with Kaito, of course, but I was super happy when you made friends with me too! I mean, you’re a moron, and a weirdo, and a real pervert sometimes, and honestly, you gross me the heck out, like, all the time...”
“Going pretty heavy on the insults, aren’t you?”
“But y’know, people say I’m a weirdo all the time too. I mean, Kaito’s all calm and mild-mannered, and his sister Hikari-chan’s super straitlaced too. I’ve been hanging out with the two of them since forever ago, and I always had to drag them around whenever we did stuff... Our relationship being like that’s probably how I ended up being such a hyper person, I guess.”
“Kotou...”
“I’ve got plenty of girls I’m friends with, but every once in a while it feels like we’re just not on the same wavelength. So, I mean,” she giggled, “I guess what I’m trying to say is thanks for being friends with...nah, I can’t! This is getting way too awkward! Sorry, forget about it!”
“Kotou...you’re trying to steer this in an emotional direction to make me forget about the hypnosis app thing, aren’t you?”
“Ugh!” Kotou let out a sharp grunt and made a face of pure astonishment. Judging by the speed of that reaction, she was definitely trying to change the topic on purpose. That was close... I almost took her seriously for a minute, there.
“Now that I think about it, this means I have dirt on you, doesn’t it? I’m the only person who knows that you’re a perverted demon who’d try to manipulate people with a hypnosis app.”
“I-I told you I wasn’t gonna do anything pervy with it!”
“Sure you weren’t—but most people would get super skeeved out if they heard about a girl who tried to hypnotize a boy like that, don’t you think?”
“Ugh... Okay, yeah... That’d freak me out too...”
“Hmm, maybe I should go spread this info around? I could tell Kaito, Kiryu, and tons of other people too...”
“You monster!”
“Like you’re one to talk!”
“Take this! Hypnosis!”
“Think we already established that it doesn’t work!”
In the end, Kotou decided that the only way to deal with my pesky memories was to literally beat them out of my head. She chased me around the storehouse all the way to the end of lunchtime. Needless to say, I didn’t have any time at all to actually eat lunch.
“Achoo!”
“Whoa, did you catch a cold or something, Kou? You looked fine this morning.”
“Nah, just got a little too much dust in my lungs...” My storehouse chase with Kotou had kicked up all the dust in the room, and my nose was completely shot. She and I both spent the rest of the day in a miserable, sneezy hell.
And we all lived happily ever after.