After that, we headed straight back to the lord’s manor instead of joining in on the victory banquet. We had planned to attend originally, but it just wasn’t in the cards now.
On the carriage ride home, Nia was quieter than usual. The expression on her face was a little sullen, but that was just her outside appearance. How was she mentally? Unfortunately, I didn’t know that much.
“It’s really not something you need to worry about, Lord Ark,” Nia said once I’d had Laura prepare some tea and sat her down at the table.
But unlike usual, I didn’t take her words at face value. I stared right into her eyes from across the table, and she stared right back. Then, she let out a little laugh.
“It’s always like this with you, Lord Ark. You look at me. And that makes me so happy.”
“If this is enough to make you happy, then I’ll look at you all you want,” I replied, eyes still locked on hers. The words sounded a little pretentious, but they were how I really felt, so I hope you’ll forgive that.
It must have been funny or something, because Nia laughed, her expression lacking the usual sparkle and pluck.
“I have you, someone who will say such things just like that. And I have Laura and Tom. I thought that was all I needed.”
After saying that much, Nia went silent. Her gaze fell to the cup in her hands. It almost seemed as if she were searching for some sign in the steam rising from her tea.
That was why I waited silently. She’d continue once she found the words. And I was right; a few moments later, she spoke again.
“I’d known all along that to him, I wasn’t family. I knew that,” Nia said, before heaving a little sigh. “But being proved right all over again just has me overwhelmed. It’s like I’m exhausted...”
“Nia, that’s...”
What should I say?
Nia had left the home country that had snubbed her, throwing away both her name and status. She had actively taken part in our plan to take over Sylvario, and to that end had provided us with a number of strategies for doing so. But I guessed that deep in her heart, she’d still been unable to throw away her feelings towards her family.
Just as I thought that, Nia shook her head a little at me.
“No, it’s not like I feel guilty about driving my family towards ruin. I just feel tired,” she continued, holding a hand to her chest as she looked downwards. Then, she went silent again, almost as if she were having an internal heart-to-heart.
When I saw her like that, a thought flashed in my mind.
“You might not have noticed how tired you were,” I said.
“Not have noticed?” Nia parroted my words back, a look of surprise on her face.
“Haven’t you been really tense this entire time? Throwing away everything and coming to an unfamiliar country, and then working to take revenge on your own homeland. Or no, maybe you’ve been tense since even before that.” As the guesses came from my mouth, it felt as if all of the puzzle pieces I had gathered inside of me were coming together.
Now that I was thinking about it, no matter how brilliant she was, she was still a teenage girl. There was no way someone her age could travel to the territories to try to help the residents there, and then return to the palace and hide what they had done from almost everyone without being tense.
“You relaxed. It happens to me too. The moment I let go of the energy that keeps me going when I run wild, I suddenly feel completely exhausted. It’s happened to me a bunch of times.”
I was sure that it had been necessary for Nia not to notice her exhaustion. She’d been running all of this time. She’d had no other choice.
She’d also probably wanted to run too. If she’d done all she did for the province of Stonegaze purely out of duty, then the citizens of Stonegaze wouldn’t have supported her as much as they do now.
She was in a position where she had to keep on running, and she had both the skill and the will to do so. But she was still a young girl, and at some point, she’d get out of breath.
I stood from my chair and knelt beside her.
“Lord Ark...?”
“We achieved one of our biggest goals in this battle. Of course you’d feel spent after. And I’m happy that you do,” I said, taking her hand.
It was small. Her usual maturity made it easy to forget, but it was a young, pale hand, just what you’d expect someone her age to have. It had gone through more hardships than you’d expect the hand of a former royal to have, but... No. Because of that, I found it all the more precious.
“You’re happy...?”
“Yes. It means you’re feeling like you can relax. And if that’s because it’s with me, then nothing could make me happier.”
If Nia, who’d always put on a bold front in order to survive, was able to relax in front of me—if she could, in a way, feel comfortable enough to put her heart in my hands—then nothing would thrill me more as a man.
I would definitely protect Nia. That was why I wanted her to rest. And I put all those feelings into the kiss I placed on the back of her hand.
“Nia.”
“...Yes?”
“You did great coming this far. And it was because you’d done your best until now that we managed to catch Balthazar today without many casualties. This is your achievement, Nia.”
“My achievement...”
“That’s right.”
It was an achievement—a glorious one. But while the guys would’ve been pumped to be told that, judging from how Nia looked right now, she’d react a bit differently.
What did she want to hear? With that question in mind, the following words came out naturally.
“It’s okay for you to rest now,” I said. “Relax, and leave the rest of it to me and His Highness.”
No matter what she did, no one had ever acknowledged Nia. If that was the reason she couldn’t relax and leave anything to others, then I wanted to tell her that it was different now—that it was okay to rely on me. Sure, her battle was far from over, but just for now she could take a break. I poured those feelings into my words.