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SHORTLY after dozing off, I opened my eyes to find Albert standing in front of me.
What?
His presence shook me to my core. On top of Albert seeing me sleeping, I was probably wearing a dopey expression. How embarrassing. I thought to regain my composure and call out to him, but my mouth wouldn’t open. Furthermore, I acted contrary to my desires, as if someone else was controlling me. Though I was still myself, my body wouldn’t listen to me, turning me into a bystander within my own mind.
Could I still be dreaming?
While still under someone else’s control, I rose to my feet, picked up a hair ornament from the pile of accessories, and gazed at it. This was the gift from Albert I’d been reminiscing about earlier. Soon afterward, I—or the person in control of me—spoke. My usual self could never adopt this elegant bearing and manner of speech.
When Albert said Rosemary’s name, I gradually understood what was going on. Normally, this would have been incomprehensible. By all accounts, it seemed like a dream, but I had memories of this sensation.
Have I become Rosemary again?
During the events in the audience chamber, I’d wanted to stop Reynaldo and Albert’s vengeance. When I’d prayed to Rosemary, my sense of self faded, and I’d moved as if possessed. My current situation felt the same as if there were two of me inside my mind.
Rosemary? I asked inwardly.
Yes, she replied from her place in my heart.
It really is you.
Rosemary borrowed my body to speak with Albert. Despite using my voice, she sounded like a different person. Likewise, Albert recognized Rosemary soon after entering the room.
By the end of the conversation, I understood its purpose and why Rosemary spoke to Albert on my behalf.
So, Rosemary was privy to my feelings all along…? That makes sense, but it’s still mortifying!
Awareness of my past life created a sense of separation between me and Rosemary, but in the end, we were the same person. Obviously, she would be privy to my secrets.
Please, I begged inwardly. Don’t expose any more of me.
Everything she’d said on my behalf was true, after all.
“Are you looking for me in Mary?” she’d asked Albert. “Do you truly love her, or did you merely swear your loyalty to her?”
Th-These are all things I was worried about! I’d rather keep living as Rosemary forever than deal with this embarrassment!
Even so, Albert’s words filled me with joy. His true feelings allowed the worries coiled around my chest to loosen and disappear. Selfishly, I wanted Albert to see me as Mary, yet I didn’t want him to forget my past self. This had been my internal conflict for some time. I wanted to love Albert, but my other self didn’t want him to forget her either.
And then Albert gave the best possible response to my two selves.
I feel like an idiot for being so indecisive.
At first, Rosemary’s awakening, seizing control of my body, and asking questions on my behalf distressed me. Now, I felt grateful.
Thank you, Rosemary.
I offered words of gratitude to her like a prayer. Outwardly, Rosemary accepted them with a bemused smile.
“She’s a sweet girl,” Rosemary said. “Despite getting entangled in relationships from her past life, she persevered on my behalf without a word of complaint.”
“That she did,” Albert agreed.
“How fortunate I am to have been reborn as Mary. I’m truly blessed.”
Rosemary’s gratitude resonated with me. I never expected her to thank me. She was my past self, whom I knew only through memory. Her appearing like this was a miracle in itself—one that I was endlessly grateful for.
“I have one last favor to ask of you,” Rosemary said to Albert. “I apologize for being such a demanding liege. However, this is something I can only ask of you, as the one who swore his loyalty to me.”
Gradually, my consciousness returned to my body. As Rosemary’s consciousness faded away, she gripped Albert’s hand in a final farewell, and I sensed what she sensed.
“I leave Reynaldo in your care,” she said. “And please find happiness for yourself as well.”
“As you wish, my lady,” Albert agreed to her request.
He gazed at her from mere inches away, his dark brown eyes gleaming with determination. Rosemary smiled, satisfied, and my consciousness returned to my body.
“…Mary?” Albert asked.
He could probably tell that Rosemary had disappeared based on my dazed expression. Even so, I couldn’t bring myself to answer him. Why not? Well, because I was embarrassed. After hearing such an earnest declaration of love, I couldn’t look him in the eye.
“Could you hear everything I said?” he asked.
“…Yes.”
In response to my feeble answer, Albert cracked up laughing. My face flushing, I looked up.
“Then may I hear your response to what I asked you the other day?” he pressed.
I stayed silent, half wanting to punch the stupid grin off his face. His handsome features only added to my frustration.
Still, seeing him so full of confidence was wonderful. His words filled me with joy, just as Rosemary had said. My heart was fit to burst with happiness. The idea of Albert’s affections being entirely directed towards Rosemary anguished me so much for so long. However, his words alleviated my worries. Without uttering a single falsehood, he’d explained the difference between wanting to protect me and swearing his loyalty to Rosemary.
I couldn’t honestly convey my happiness; I felt guilty and pathetic for forcing Albert to explain himself. Though I tried to respond, I couldn’t find the words. As my mouth hung open dumbly, Albert smiled at me. His handsome face closed in on mine, and he kissed me. His actions were so swift that I didn’t have time to consider resisting. Our lips parted, and after a short pause, I finally found my voice.
“Wh-What do you think you’re doing?!” I cried.
“Oh, was it not to your liking?”
Seizing the initiative, Albert seemed more composed than usual. Of course, it was to my liking. I loved him, after all.
“If you’re going to kiss me, at least say so beforehand,” I grumbled.
What on earth am I saying? I wondered, well aware of my irrationality. No matter what forewarning Albert might have given me, I would have ended up tongue-tied.
Albert smiled at my response. “Well then, may I kiss you again, Mary?”
His hand caressed my cheek, his skin callused from sword training. He looked into my eyes with a sensual expression, our noses close enough to touch. His gaze bore into my heart, causing my pulse to quicken.
Yes, I’d told him to inform me beforehand, but I probably would’ve been less nervous if he hadn’t said anything. Asking for permission felt immodest. Regardless, I’d already decided on my answer.
“…By all means.”
As I lost myself in Albert’s next kiss, he wrapped his arms around me. Silently, I closed my eyes, the joy springing from the bottom of my heart overwhelming me. I put all the words I hadn’t been able to say into that kiss.
While a kiss from my first love intoxicated me, I inwardly uttered a word of thanks to Rosemary. And from the depths of my heart, she smiled back at me.