People had been coming and going from Tia’s room since before the trial to search for evidence. Meanwhile, Reynaldo slipped in and retrieved a mountain of items. If this came to light, there would be consequences, what with the trial being such a serious matter.
“You truly have blinders on when it comes to Rosemary,” I voiced my honest thoughts.
And why wouldn’t I? Reynaldo’s smile implied. Afterward, he left the room to attend to an urgent matter. I sighed deeply while watching him go. Recently, Albert had been traveling back and forth between McClain and the northern fortress, where the tribespeople had been skirmishing with Dirésias. As a result, he’d been extremely busy.
Should he be wasting time on me with everything else going on?
I fell into pensive thought while organizing Rosemary’s belongings. Everything I held sent waves of nostalgia through me.
I wore this dress when my engagement to Prince Grey was announced. Oh, and I received this piece of jewelry from his father on my sixteenth birthday. Come to think of it, there aren’t any gifts from Grey himself here. I chuckled bitterly at that. Honestly, I can’t even remember if he ever gave me anything.
I had few memories of spending time with Prince Grey as his fiancée. He accused me of being a nag and avoided me. Around one year after the official announcement of our engagement, he began supporting Tia instead of me.
“Oh, this is a gift from Sir Albert,” I muttered.
I picked up a hair ornament. Albert gave it to Rosemary on her birthday before she began living in the palace. Though it was much cheaper than the other accessories in the pile, it was stored lovingly in a box. Clearly, Rosemary cherished this gift.
My past self loved Albert as well, I thought, a spike of jealousy lancing through my chest.
I recalled Rosemary’s fleeting love for Albert. Receiving this present from him was one of her most precious memories. Likewise, I remembered how lovingly she stored this gift until her death. Seeing it again caused my heart to ache.
Recently, Albert gave me presents as well: flowers, candies, and other cute gifts.
“I’m not sure what to give a young lady,” he’d admitted bashfully while handing them to me.
Despite his busy schedule, he set aside as much time as possible to see me. When I began working as his handmaid, he’d always shown me a great deal of consideration as well.
“Do you need help learning anything?” he would ask. “Are you finding this workplace to your liking?”
Even since my time as a lowly handmaid, Albert’s attitude remained ever the same.
Other memories of him rose to mind. Before learning my true identity, he often invited me to have tea with him. Furthermore, I sometimes watched him practice his swordplay. Per Rosemary’s memories, he was still young and much less skilled. Nowadays, he often served as an instructor, but when I caught sight of him sparring from time to time, he was the paragon of knightliness.
I cherished memories of Albert from both of my lives. Both were real and true.
Now I sounded like an envious woman from some third-rate play. “Only look at me and never anyone else,” she would beg her love. I despised myself for it, but I’d morphed into that character. Above all, part of me had given up on ever comparing favorably to my past self.
Rosemary, I spoke inwardly, clutching one of her beloved dresses and hats to my chest. When you look at me right now, what do you think? Does it disillusion you to know you’ve turned into such a self-loathing woman?
My past self received constant instruction to become worthy of respect as the next queen. “You must give careful consideration to your country, not your personal feelings,” she’d been taught at length. “You must become a woman capable of supporting your husband—Prince Grey.”
She hadn’t received a single lesson on love. She’d grown up without knowing how it drove people to madness. Eventually, she witnessed that for herself. When Prince Grey ruined his position to proclaim his love for Tia, Rosemary was stunned with disbelief.
Despite how much pain I’d suffered in my previous life, I was in no position to speak ill of King Grey, whose love drove him mad. After all, I would soon be deceiving Albert to test his love for me.
I shouldn’t lie.
When Reynaldo suggested putting Albert to the test, I should have opposed him. Even so, I wanted to know who Albert truly loved. I’d agreed to the plan, hoping it would provide me with the truth. What else could this be but madness driven by love? Did my avarice know no bounds?
I laughed suddenly, a humorous thought occurring to me. “After all this time, I finally understand King Grey.”
I’ll tell him the truth, I thought, returning the hair ornament to the top of the desk. Sir Albert will answer me honestly, even if I don’t lie.
Steeling myself, I stood and looked at the twilit sky outside the window. Reynaldo sent a swift horse to Albert to tell him of my condition. Albert was traveling to the McClain region, but knowing him, he would return to the castle after nightfall.
He needs to hear the truth from me, I thought, looking at the sky. The accessories strewn across the room sparkled in the crimson light filtering through the window.
I feel very sleepy all of a sudden…
The window rattled in the wind, birds chirped in the distance, and the warmth of the setting sun felt pleasant upon my skin. The sounds and sensations coalesced into a lullaby, pulling me to sleep.
Goodnight, Mary, a kind and motherly voice said to me as my eyelids fluttered closed. I sensed someone’s presence, their cool fingertips beckoning me towards slumber. Swaddled in a blanket of fatigue, I had no means of resisting that tender invitation.
I fell into a deep sleep.