🌹💘🌹
RICHARD kicked the door to his bedroom open with his foot and then he kicked it closed again once we were inside. Ohhh, myyy, so His Imperial Highness uses his feet to open and close doors just like the rest of us ordinary folks! That carefree thought helped me retain my sanity.
Richard gently tossed me on the bed. As expected of the bedroom of the lord of a castle, the ceiling was crowded with murals of dancing angels. When I started counting the angels in an attempt to escape from reality, Richard loomed over me, his face deadly serious.
“Eeep!”
I had only ever seen this particular scenario in my imagination. He stroked my hair away from my face then pressed his lips firmly against the ends of a few strands. His kiss made a soft sound.
“Ack.”
“Be honest with me. Are you afraid when I do this to you? Do you hate it? What do you feel?” he asked.
“It is a bit scary, but…I do…not…hate…it…” I slipped into stilted formal speech.
“Ahhh, I’m so glad.”
Finally, for the first time today, Richard smiled, though it was faint. But it was most definitely different from all the smiles he’d shown me until now. The best way I could describe it was overwhelming? Amazing? Something along those lines.
“Richard, I feel as if you’re not acting like your usual self?”
“Sleep deprivation might be the cause. Since it’s extremely painful not being able to see the person you want to see and embrace for days on end.”
“Um… Ummm—” I lied when I said his handsome face was scary when he was serious. Because his serious smile was too.
“Miss Monica, may I hold you?”
“Oh…”
As soon as I gave him a small nod, Richard fell on top of me, still lying on the bed, like a starving man. He swept his arms around me and squeezed. Then, of all things, he buried his face in the nape of my neck. I suppressed a shriek of surprise and simply stared up at the ceiling, not really understanding reality as it happened. The angels laughed. Stop laughing.
“Haaa… I feel alive again…”
I had never heard this particular tinge in his voice before as he snuggled closer to me and gave free rein to his need to be spoiled. Every time his lips and the tip of his nose brushed against my skin, I felt a tingle deep in my head.
But wait. Let’s say his attitude right now was to be analyzed objectively. It was almost as if. Um. Well…
“Richard.”
“Hm?”
“Did…Did I… Uh. Did I heal you today with my powers?”
“No. But you don’t need to do that to excite me. Just looking at you arouses me, Miss Monica.”
“Excite?! Arouse?!”
“Would you prefer I say ‘you send me into heat’ since you’re more familiar with that verbiage?”
“Did you lose your mind or something?!” I cried.
“Heh. You’re so cute, Miss Monica.”
I couldn’t decide if he held me like this to calm himself down or to make sure I wouldn’t run away. In any case, some semblance of rationality returned to him and he sat up on the bed. When I did the same, our eyes met.
We were so close we could kiss at any moment. On top of a bed. Where he had gently pushed me down up until a second ago. So being on the receiving end of his heated gaze in such a situation, I reached up and viciously pinched my cheek.
“Ow, ow, owww.”
“Miss Monica, stop that.”
“This isn’t a dream.”
“That’s right, this isn’t a dream.”
“But… Um, uhhh… Richard, I… Wait. Deep breath. Calm down. Now I can ask you. What in the world happened? This is so unlike you.”
“Fair question. But first, you have to answer my question.”
“A-All right.” I nodded nervously at his imperious tone that wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“Do you really want to leave me?”
“About…that…”
“Are you going to marry Xenu? I won’t let you. If you do want to marry him, I’ll have him executed.”
“Aaargh, what is it with you and execution?! Don’t do that, understood?! Especially because he hasn’t done anything wrong to me! Understood?!”
Whether it be his lack of hesitation in setting people on fire or honestly everything he does, this man was just too darn extreme, shockingly so. Well, I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked considering his Ferocious Crown Prince moniker.
“Then why?” He scooped a hank of my hair and rubbed it against his cheek, his gaze on me steady as he asked. “Why did you say you want to leave me? I heard you talk about entering a convent, you know. Why do you want to deprive me of your existence? Even though…even though I know you don’t hate me.”
He didn’t smile. And it scared me.
“But…I could say the same to you, Richard.” I had so much I wanted to tell him too. I clenched my fists and gazed at him. “You’ve been holding marriage meetings lately, haven’t you?”
To my shame, my voice quivered. His eyes widened. That expression made me think my assumption was correct.
“I’m going to enter a convent. Because I’m not strong enough to give you my blessing and wish for your happiness when you marry.”
Saying the words out loud, I realized how incredibly pathetic and selfish my reasoning was. I scrubbed away the tears threatening to spill over, then I revealed to him the truth of my filthy feelings as I looked down at my hands.
“Whenever my desire upends my thoughts, I…I feel things for you not as the comrade and friend you treasure, but as…someone who…someone who looks at you, and only you, with those eyes. I’m the Arousing Priestess, after all. A shameless woman.”
“Miss Monica…”
“I… It’s not like I don’t want to stay by your side. I do. I’m grateful you said you won’t let me go. But I can’t celebrate your happiness. I know, I’m awful. What’s more, a political marriage with someone else is impossible for me too. Maybe it’s because I’m a commoner, but…it’s been my dream since I was a child to become the bride of the man I love. Unlike those young noblewomen, I lack the resolve to enter into a political marriage. So…I’m sorry. Now that you know, please, let me enter a convent.”
Silent, he listened to me attentively. As I put it into words, I realized my true feelings, which I had been running away from. It was always my dream to marry the man I love. The truth was already clear the moment I dreamed of that wedding. My body and my desires weren’t broken. If I was going to give voice to the truth, then now was my only chance.
When I fell quiet, Richard sighed long and heavily.
“I’m sorry. I’m the one at fault here for not telling you my true feelings and confessing everything properly earlier. I’d decided I would once the situation in Kophe was in order, but to think I made you so anxious… I’m sorry. I’ll tell you everything.” He continued while running his fingers through my disheveled hair. “First of all, I’m not hosting or going to any marriage meetings. The nobles here keep trying to foist their daughters off on me without so much as a by your leave, so I’ve simply been introducing them to my knights instead to keep the fuss to a minimum. Of course, I didn’t want to just force them into anything. So I talked to each young lady privately to learn about her personality, hopes, and more to match her with a compatible knight.”
“Oh…and that’s why you were meeting with them individually?”
“I don’t know what you saw, but I was essentially meeting with them around the clock. Although some of the young ladies were particularly stubborn and wanted to seduce me at night.”
Richard had dark circles under his eyes. Perhaps he looked unnecessarily scarier than usual because of his exhaustion.
“You were under such stress…and here I misunderstood the situation,” I muttered.
“Besides, if I leered at any woman other than you, Miss Monica, both Darius and Solarus would present to you my head on a platter. Because those two are much more extremist about you than you think, Miss Monica. They’re super fans of yours.”
Um, I seriously doubt there’s anyone more extreme than him in this world!
He didn’t give me a chance to interject as he continued, “Next. Did you truly think I’d let you go? Even after I told you I wouldn’t?”
“Wh-Which is why I assumed you would…ask me to enter a political marriage…and that would make it easier…to stay…by your…side…”
“Match you with another man? Don’t even joke about that. I can’t even bear it when another man talks to you like he’s your friend. To think I would ever marry you off to one is heresy.”
“U-Ummm—”
“Let me make something clear, Miss Monica. I have never and will never use you as a tool. And I would never do something that would make you unhappy.”
“You’re right… I really am so sorry for viewing your actions in the wrong light.”
“It’s fine. Besides, I have a feeling Xenu put ideas in your head.”
“Geh.”
“I thought so.”
Pressured by the dreadful expression in his eyes, I asked him another question. “Then, the reason you always told me you would make a home for me and not let me go is…”
“Just like I’ve always said, Miss Monica. Have you still not realized?” Richard suddenly smiled. A soft smile that made me melt. “I…adore you, Miss Monica. I love you.”
“Um… Ummm—”
“May I kiss you? I will.”
Without waiting for an answer, he kissed me. Once. Then again.
“W-Wait. Um.”
“You don’t hate it, right?”
I needed him to stop staring at me so close that our breaths mingled when he spoke.
“Great. Then I’ll kiss you more.”