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THE next thing I saw was the ceiling flickering in the lamplight. I was lying in the soft, cozy bed in the bedroom provided to me in Marquess Podzern’s castle. It must be nighttime. When I turned my head, I found Solarus sitting by my bedside.
Upon sensing my gaze, Solarus startled and her catlike eyes widened.
“Please wait a moment, Madam Monica.”
She stood up, curtsied, then rushed out of the room. The sound of her rapidly receding footsteps was soon replaced by the arrival of the magical physician who had accompanied us from the Empire. After he finished his examination, the next person entered.
“Richard…”
His expression made the words lodge in my throat. There was no trace of his usual easygoing demeanor. Instead, he scowled ferociously at me, the look on his face deadly serious. He strode imperiously toward my bed and seated himself in the chair occupied first by Solarus then the doctor.
“I told you to be careful, didn’t I?”
He spoke the words, staring directly at me. Heavy emotions radiated from his blazing eyes. Once again, I was struck keenly by the gravity of the situation.
“I’m sorry… Who knows about what happened?” I asked.
“Only a few involved in the incident. The children didn’t see your blood. Solarus took care of everything by the time you were carried here.”
“She…she did nothing wrong. I’m to blame,” I said.
“I know. She was also attacked by a different assassin. She managed to defend herself and came out unscathed, but that one was a child as well. Well…it’s unsurprising she feels responsible for being unable to protect you, so I suggest you allay her concerns accordingly later.”
“Of course…”
My thoughtless actions caused trouble for Solarus as well. Richard spoke bluntly as he watched me clench the sheets tightly between my fingers.
“You’re most definitely at fault on this occasion, Miss Monica.”
“I am.”
“It should have been easy for you to erect a magical barrier, especially against a child. Not to mention your failure to detect the blade. Because I knew you were capable of protecting yourself, I assigned the bare minimum number of guards to you so you could move around freely.”
“It’s exactly as you said, Richard… I was careless.”
He enunciated each word clearly, his tone hard, and all I could do in response was hang my head in shame. His expression remained grim for some time before a wrinkle creased his brow and he shook his head. Then he groaned in frustration.
“Forgive me…and forget I said all that. Nobody can criticize you. Least of all me.”
He sighed and dragged his fingers through his already disheveled hair. His eyes were bloodshot and he had dark circles under them. Clearly, he was exhausted from the ordeal. I deeply regretted the worry he’d suffered because of me. I apologized to him from the bottom of my heart.
“I really am so very sorry.”
His lips flattened into a straight line. The disconsolate look on his face was unbearable to see. He also seemed both dismayed and angry at himself. I kept talking.
“And thank you for rebuking me properly for my blunder. You’re the only one who’s kind enough to scold me when I need it. No one else will.”
I understood how awkward it was for people to complain about the saint so close to him.
“I…I saw too much of myself in the refugees. When I was in the Empire, the slight differences in language and culture made it easy to live as a holy woman. But…here in Kophe, it felt like I could see the old me in them.”
Richard stroked my cheek then wrapped both of his hands around mine, which had started shaking since Lord knows when.
“It isn’t as if I forgot about your connection to the Kingdom…but I suppose I might have underestimated the impact being back would have on you.”
“Richard…”
“So…while it may be true that your reckless kindness was the cause of this incident, it doesn’t mean that I want you to be an apathetic saint. Because the Miss Monica I adore is undoubtedly the sort of person who can’t ignore anyone in trouble.”
Once he said his piece, he exhaled, as if trying to clear his head.
“I think…a breeze is just the thing we need right now. I’ll open a window.”
“Please.”
After opening the window, he returned once more to my bedside. The thin curtains fluttered. I could see night had fallen completely outside. The stars in the sky and the torchlights in the castle that never sleeps flickered brightly. Richard narrowed his eyes against a particularly strong gust of wind.
“Miss Monica…you’re in a difficult position right now, aren’t you? As usual, the people of Kophe, especially the highborns, look down on you and the existence of priestesses as a whole. It doesn’t matter to them if you and your fellow saints save them. They refuse to listen to your opinions and don’t even care if they use you all as drudges and work you to the point of self-destruction.”
He gripped my hand tightly as the words tumbled out of him one after another.
“I’ve been trying my best to encourage them to change their mindset, but…I also knew that in dealing with them, your self-worth has been taking a steady beating.”
“That’s not true!” I argued.
“Yes, it is. If I consider your position, I can’t simply ask you to do anything I wish. Even those who swore fealty to me did so under the facade of being my ally. Because underneath the surface, they continue to disparage holy women, unable to change the bad habits of their country.” His fingers squeezed mine. “And then…of all things…to use children as assassins and force them to say, ‘It’s your fault.’”
“But…”
I couldn’t stop myself from protesting. The reason that child was forced to kill me, her misfortune, all of it was because of the Arousing Priestess—
“Her words weren’t wrong,” I finished.
“Yes, they were. They absolutely were.”
“Nh…!”
He spoke flatly, his resolute tone brooking no argument. Then he appealed to me with burning eyes.
“Listen to me, Miss Monica. Those in power wield their authority in order to take responsibility for their actions. The ones in power are to blame for driving you out and for everything their mistakes wrought after. They and they alone are at fault. So why doesn’t that child turn her blade instead on the Kingdom of Kophe and the lords who didn’t protect her in the first place?”
“Oh…”
“Do you think it makes sense for someone to point a knife at you and blame you after you sympathize with them and comfort them? No, right?”
He was angry. Not at me, but at those in power in Kophe. As His Imperial Highness Richard Il Belktrius, another person in a position of power, their behavior infuriated him.