†††
“LADY SELENA.”
Tiegel’s voice woke me. At some point, I’d dozed off in the chair on the balcony.
“It’s not good for you to sleep in a place like this,” he said.
“You’re right.”
That dream, those memories were from so long ago. I wonder if my teacher burned all my belongings, alone and filled with regret, just like he had that day.
I don’t know why he felt that way; it wasn’t like my death or the deaths of his other students were his fault. And yet, he always felt regret whenever one of us died.
Actually, thinking about it now, he was the only one to ever tell us assassins to live.
“Is something wrong, my lady?” asked Tiegel.
Now, I’m living as Selena, likely in the world my teacher wanted me to be in. I wonder if this is the world he wanted to give his other students, too. Well, he’d probably be fed up with me if he learned I still ended up involved in the assassination industry. He’d probably just laugh and say, “That’s so like you, kid.”
“Lady Selena?”
“I’m fine,” I said.
“I see. If you’re tired, please rest in your room. You have been very busy lately.”
“I have been,” I said. “Tiegel…”
“Yes?”
“You could go anywhere now. If you wanted to, you could leave here and live however you wanted. I don’t want to trap you here, so—”
“Lady Selena.” It wasn’t often Tiegel cut me off. “I am by your side because I want to be. Please allow me to stay here until you no longer need me.”
“You are an odd one.”
I don’t regret how I lived in my past life. I don’t resent my teacher for giving me the skills of assassination. It was just a world I couldn’t escape alive once I’d set foot in it. All who fled were given death.
That dream reminded me of that and made me wonder if I’d tied Tiegel to myself. I wanted to let him know he was free to choose, but it seemed he didn’t need me to worry about it.
“I’ll go inside,” I said. “Make me a cup of tea. On the sweet side, if possible.”
“Yes, my lady.”
Teacher, I don’t know if this is right or not, but I do know that the funeral you likely gave me let me lead a “normal” life, even if it’s a bit different from what you’d hoped for. You don’t need to feel regret. That’s all I’ll say. Not that I have any way of actually telling you.
✦ ✦ ✦
†††
“WHAT’S wrong, Teacher?”
“Nothing. Just had a weird dream, is all. Must be getting old.”
She was an excellent student. My only worry was that she didn’t have a human heart. She didn’t have a strong attachment to living. But she still came back alive so many times, just like I wanted her to.
She died in the end, though. She failed to assassinate the crown prince. They’d got word in advance.
“Selena, huh? Hmph. Not too bad a name,” I whispered.
“Teacher?”
“It’s nothing. Right, let’s get back to training.”
I don’t mind what life she’s living so long as she’s got no regrets.