Act 7: Imposter Holy Maiden
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Chapter 13: Girl, Whets Appetites
“WELCOME to Brownie Village: The Village with Holy Savior Priestess Lady Nichika!”
Under the cloudy gray sky, a huge, over the top banner hung from the village gate. The person being advertised by it gaped up at it.
Disgusted, her master prodded, “Close your mouth. You’re outdoing yourself in the looking stupid department.”
“I just got here, right? This is the first time I’ve ever come here, right?”
Dumbfounded, she passed under the banner with her name written in sparkly paint and entered the village. Red terraced fields sloped down hills as far as the eye could see.
Oswald plucked a leaf and twirled it between his fingers. “This is a klehna leaf,” he explained. “Boiling it down creates a red pigment used in dyes.”
“Cool. Does it taste good as tea?” Nichika asked the exact question that popped into her head, earning a pitying look from her master.
“You can also use it as a decorative element in dishes, but it was wrong of me to expect a classy response from you…”
“Ugh. I’m not as much of a glutton as that makes me sound. Back home some people dye textiles naturally with tea, so that’s what made me think it was edible. Okay?” she babbled as they descended the sloped plane. A large mansion came into view at the bottom. Excited screams reached halfway up the hill.
“It’s awfully loud,” Oswald said, leery of the noise.
“Really is. Are they having a concert or something?” she joked. She walked around the building and felt her jaw drop.
Hundreds of villagers crowded around the stage erected in front of the mansion. On the stage was a girl with bright-red hair tied up in pigtails, raising her hands with a shining smile.
“Hello, everybody! You have my heartfelt thanks for gathering here today for ultra-hyper-super-duper cute me!”
Cheers exploded from the overexcited crowd, shaking the air. The red-haired girl, dressed like a high school idol, winked and struck a cutesy pose.
“It’s time for the first song! Here comes ‘Searching for the Great Spirits Isn’t Easy-peasy ☆!’”
Nichika was only joking, but it turned out they really were having a concert. The pretty girl sung and danced to the orchestra’s up-tempo song. Every time the real Nichika heard the audience’s cries of “Lady Priestess, I love you!” and “Nichika-wichika is too cute!” she smacked Oswald’s arm.
“What’s going on here? I mean it. Tell me what I’m looking at right now!”
“……”
Incomprehensible. One look at Oswald’s face told her exactly what he thought. She grabbed his sleeve and pulled him to the front of the swaying crowd. Obviously she didn’t recognize the girl.
“Nichika is the Spirit Priestess,” the girl said during the interlude. “Please support me during my arduous journey!”
She pretended to cry as she broke into a dramatized speech. “I have overcome a great many trials to get to where I am today. I even went through heartbreaking goodbyes…but I will never give up! Not until the day I save the world!”
Enough was enough. Reaching the peak of embarrassment, Nichika pulled at her hair and screamed, “OH MY GOD! I can’t watch this any longer! It’s just too ridiculous!”
“Oi, stop it, stupid.”
Nichika broke free of Oswald’s restraint and jumped over the fence onto the stage. The imposter stepped back in fear of the sudden concert crasher.
“Wh-Whatever is your problem? You may be my fan, but it’s a no-no to come up on stage with me!” she chided in a spoiled, girly tone that only angered Nichika more.
“Like HELL I’m your fan!”
The orchestra stopped playing and the audience attentively watched to see what was about to go down. Nichika slammed her right foot on the stage and gave it to her straight.
“Quit the crap! Where do you get off stealing someone else’s name?! And you just had to go and say it along with that embarrassing speech… How do you expect me to introduce myself from now on?!”
“Whatever are you talking about? Whoever in the world are you?” The fraud feigned innocence.
Blood rushing to her head, Nichika wailed emotionally. Yes, she made the mistake of screaming in front of all these people. “Don’t you get it?! I’m the real Spirit Priestess! I’m Nichika!”
Silence fell over the garden concert for but a fleeting moment before explosive laughter cracked the air. The second Nichika realized she was being laughed at, her face turned deep red.
“Wh-Why…?”
“You shouldn’t joke about such things. I am the genuine Spirit Priestess Nichika,” the imposter announced, then turned to her adoring fans. “Isn’t that right, everyone?” She confidently pointed to herself, her eyes tearing up from laughing too hard.
Now that she came this far, she couldn’t turn back. Nichika clenched her fists and argued. “No, you’re not! I’m Nichika!”
“What part of you is anything like a refined Spirit Priestess?”
Backed by the crowd, the imposter waved her hand up and down Nichika and triumphantly mocked, “You can’t be with that plain, round face!”
STAB!
“Not with that grimy, dull hair and stumpy figure!”
STAB! STAB! STAB!
“And to top it off, you have the charisma of a rock. Though that’s offensive to rocks.”
“Grrrrr…!”
True enough, the fake was pretty, poised, and had all her curves in the right places. She was tall and slender like a model. The type of girl Nichika never wanted to be compared to.
The red-haired beauty placed her left hand on her hip, pressed the back of her right hand to her lips, and let out a clichéd snobbish villainess laugh. “Ohohoho! What rural village did you crawl out of, pleb? Lame. So lame. You’re so super-duper-extraordinarily-outrageously LAME!”
Nichika, who had willingly gotten on stage with this pretty girl, sank to her knees. Nothing about her stacked up against the imposter. The world is unfair when it comes to granting good looks.
“You think you can represent yourself as a heroine with those looks? Funny girl!” The fraudster grinned cunningly and divulged into a very poor act. “Oh no! Could it be you purposely caused this ruckus so you could assassinate innocent little me, the Spirit Priestess? Kyaah! I’m so scared! Help me!”
“What? Hey!”
Brawny village men clambered up the side of the stage in response to the imposter’s phony screams. They had Nichika pinned before she could run.
“You’re a nasty piece of work, trying to kill our savior!”
“I am not! I—” Nichika desperately tried to explain herself, but the imposter shouted over her.
“I see you have a staff. You must be a wicked witch. Take it from her!”
“No!”
Nichika turned blue when they confiscated the magic orb from her belt. For a brief second, she considered letting loose and hitting them all with a burst of magic, but feared it’d turn into something she could never undo if she accidentally killed someone. Shaking her head, she called for help.
“Oswald, help me!”
The black back stealthily slinking through the crowd to make his escape froze in place. Her master glanced at her once then ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction.
“Heartless jerk!”
“That man is her accomplice! Catch him!”
And just like that, both master and apprentice were tossed in jail.