Had I begun having these dreams after Ainsel and I talked about faeries?
When I finished work, I went back to my room. I was allowed to bathe today, but, naturally, I had to wait my turn. Surprisingly, there was no sign of Ainsel. Was her work taking longer than usual? Or was she just resting somewhere?
I laid my head down on my chilly pillow, lost in thought. Then, I heard something.
I rubbed my eyes and moved closer to the window. From the second floor of the servants’ quarters, all we could see was the drabbest side of the garden. But a faint light was moving through the back garden.
“Cathy!” the light called.
I hastily grabbed a candle and ran downstairs. I went down the corridor through the servants’ quarters, into the half-underground section toward the servants’ hall. Then I went up a staircase to the back door and at last emerged outside. This was the only way out, presumably to keep the servants from leaving without permission. Arthur had once grumbled that they’d built this place like a prison, and I didn’t think he was referring to Wald Abbey’s exterior.
“Katie, what’s going on?”
As I stepped outside, one of the servants having a smoke break called to me. I just said I was taking a walk and headed for the back garden, shielding the sputtering candle flame with my hands.
It was already quite dark. There was no moon tonight.
The candle wasn’t much help. I couldn’t see a thing.
But I found that light bobbing in the darkness.
“Cathy!”
I thought I heard it calling again.
I ran toward it. The candle guttered out, but I just kept moving toward the light.
I realized I’d entered the forest when I heard the leaves thrashing in the wind.
A moment later, there was light all around me.
Strange, unlike anything I’d ever seen, it was much like the colored light through a kaleidoscope.
“Cathy, you came,” it said, passing over my shoulder.
It was definitely a faerie.
If I had to describe it, it was like a tiny human with wings. It had pale green skin, the same color as its clothes. The figure was feminine, but the shape of its face definitely wasn’t human. I held my breath, staring back at her. Strangely, I wasn’t at all scared.
“You’re the one who called me?” I asked.
“Yes. There’s somewhere you need to go.”
“Where?”
“Somewhere that needs you.”
The faerie fluttered around me, speaking as if it read my mind. “Your life fits inside that little tin trunk. Everyone always forgets you. But if you come with me, you won’t need to worry about such silly things.”
“Silly?”
“Yes. Our home is a paradise.”
She fluttered about like she was dancing, leaving trails of brilliant light in her wake. Flummoxed, I ran her words over in my mind: My life fit in a tin trunk; nobody needed me; no one would even remember me… All of this was true, but why did it hurt so much?
I’d been a servant since I was a child, serving the people upstairs and devoting myself to them. But the people upstairs didn’t need us. Lighting fires like faeries, cleaning rooms like faeries, disappearing like faeries—All of us were just like faeries.
We were faeries.
“If I go there, I won’t have to be sad anymore?” I asked.
“That’s right! It’ll last forever! Your mom is there, too!”
Tears streamed down my cheeks.
There was a hole between the roots of an old oak tree. It was real and ancient, nothing like that phony “grotto.” In its depths, I could see a giant tree root that glowed with a blinding light; a light that waited for me. The faerie darted off into the depths.
Come. This is Tír na nÓg, the land of youth, of eternal summer, of eternal light. No getting old, no dying, no fighting. You can hear the birds singing all the time, singing their delightful songs…
The voice beckoned to me, and I stepped toward the light…
“Cathy!”
Someone grabbed my arm.
I turned and saw her there, panting, clutching my wrist.
I was awake again.
I could hear water rushing. I was out of breath, my heart beating a mile a minute.
Warm water surrounded my naked body. I thrashed, grabbing the side of the tin bathtub. My wet hair clung to my back.
“Cathy, are you okay?”
That voice surprised me. Ainsel was in the tiny bathroom with me.
“I…”
Surprised and confused, I finally remembered.
I was so worn out I must have fallen asleep in the bath.
“You never came out, so I wanted to check on you.” She was dressed like a parlor maid, with a lace-covered apron and cap over her black dress. “Thank heavens the tubs are so tiny! If it’d been one of the tubs upstairs, you’d have drowned.”
True enough—there wasn’t enough room for my head to slide under. I laughed weakly.
“But how did you get in here? Wasn’t anyone waiting for their turn?” I asked.
“Yes. Three of them, sitting on chairs outside, their mouths wide open, sound asleep. So I cheated.”
Ainsel undid her apron and began undressing.
“Er, you’re coming in? Hang on, I’ll get out!”
“Don’t be in such a rush. I’ll wipe myself down first. You take your time.”
“But it’s already lukewarm…”
Ignoring my protests, Ainsel happily hummed to herself. She undid her spotless cuffs and tossed her frilly cap and black wool dress aside. Long, beautiful, stocking-covered legs peeped out from underneath her petticoats. Faced with those beautiful curves, like something out of a painting, I found myself holding my breath.
“What?” Ainsel said, giving me a puzzled glance. She began wiping herself down with a wet towel. “You stare at me too much, I’ll get all embarrassed.”
“S-sorry.”
Then I saw a little blemish on her beautiful calf. She noticed my gaze.
“Oh, that? That’s a burn. When I was a kid, I was playing with some boys when a spark jumped out of the fireplace.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say. I looked away.
“Don’t worry about it. Thank you for suggesting the subject, Cathy,” she said, imitating the butler. Then she laughed.
She sounded so exactly like him I couldn’t help but laugh myself. She was quite good at imitations.
“You were dreaming, right?” she said.
“Yes,” I replied, the question bringing it all back to me. “Not a good dream. Probably because of all the gossip today.”
“What gossip?”
“Master James’s new venture failed, and that’s affecting the whole family.”
I’d heard Mrs. Banks talking to someone about it when I walked past the housekeeping room earlier that day.
“They said it might be difficult to keep Wald Abbey going now. That means they might have to sell some land…or let some servants go. Right?”
“True. I suppose they might not be able to afford the luxury of this large a staff forever.”
“And if that happens…”
I would be the first one let go, I thought. I’d no special experience or skills, and was a new hire still not used to the ways of Wald Abbey. No reason to keep me on; and I was probably not the only one who’d be sent packing.
“Everyone’s counting on Lady Lavinia’s marriage to stop that from happening. She often stays at Sir Hume’s, right?” I asked.
“Viscount Thomas Hume. Eldest son of the Earl of Lansbury.”
“Right. The viscount is quite devoted to Lady Lavinia apparently. When he inherits his father’s title, Lady Lavinia will be the new Countess Lansbury. That will take care of the finances, or so everyone says.”
“Come to think of it, Lady Lavinia hasn’t been feeling well for a while now,” Ainsel said.
I nodded.
“She refused to go to London for the season last year.”
“Yes.” Ainsel nodded. “Lady Alicia was making her debut, but Lady Lavinia stayed holed up in here.”
“I’ve heard people have made proposals to Lady Alicia as well, but the family hasn’t married her off because they can’t have her marrying before the eldest.”
“Also because the offer came from Mr. Lowell, who had land but no title. Perhaps the master has a plan in mind.”
Perhaps I was trying to avoid talking about my dream by plunging us into typical servant gossip.
I hung my head.
Then I felt a wet hand caressing my hair.
“Scary dreams should be soon forgotten. Like gifts from faeries.”
Ainsel smiled gently right next to me.
I turned red and looked away.
“Thank you, Ainsel.”
I added, “I…really value your friendship. Even if we end up separated, I hope we’ll stay friends.”
Hesitantly, I glanced at her expression.
She said nothing; just gently nodded.