I guess that made sense. It was a river in the middle of the monster-infested forest, after all.
“I can’t believe your village has something like this,” she said.
“There’s only one open-air bath like this though. Each house has a smaller, private bath. And if people want something bigger, we’ve got two public bathhouses,” I said.
They must’ve really liked the bath, because Philia and the others soaked for nearly an hour. I got out before them because I didn’t want to pass out from the heat.
Once they’d cleaned up, I led them back into the living room.
“Mad grizzlies don’t usually travel in packs, but even a single one is as dangerous as several orcs. If Lady Seren and her team hadn’t intervened, things could’ve been much worse. I truly want to thank you.” Philia bowed deeply, and the rest of the elves followed suit. They looked much more relaxed now.
“We didn’t lose a single life thanks to Lady Seren’s escort,” she said.
“I’m really glad to hear that.”
“This is just a small token of our appreciation.” She handed me ten small vials of a liquid I didn’t recognize, all carefully sealed. “Please accept it.”
“Are these potions?” I asked.
Potions were so rare that they were almost considered myths. It was said that drinking one could rapidly heal the imbiber’s wounds. The knowledge of making them had been lost long ago, and the few remaining were nothing but relics of a past age.
“Our elven tribe has passed down the recipe for generations.”
“A-Are you sure you’re okay with giving us something this rare? And ten of them, no less?” I asked.
“It’s only right. You saved our lives. Not even a potion can bring back someone who’s already gone.”
After that, we hosted Philia and her people for a meal made with local ingredients. I figured they wouldn’t want too much attention, so we kept it to a simple dinner party at my house instead of the elaborate feast we’d had when Dant visited.
“I’m sorry to ask, but may I use the restroom before we eat?” Philia asked.
“Sure. It’s down the hallway. First door on your right.”
I watched her walk down the hall.
After a few minutes, a sudden, earsplitting shriek came from the bathroom.
“AAAAIIIEEEEE!”
It sounded a lot like Philia’s voice.
I rushed down the hall and caught her bursting out of the bathroom, pants around her ankles and lower half on full display.
“Whoa! Ph-Philia?!”
“M-My rear! It attacked my rear!” she exclaimed.
“Um...what?”
Other elves came running to her aid. “Commander! Blast it! Was there a trap in the bathroom?!”
“What did you do to her?!”
They crowded around Philia, who had collapsed in the hallway, clutching her butt in a panic. The elves were furious.
I peeked into the bathroom and finally understood what had happened.
“N-No, no! It’s not a trap! That toilet has a bidet. It just sprays water to clean your bottom when you press that button!” I hastily explained.
“It— What?!”
“I see... So that thing—bidet, you called it—is a toilet with a built-in cleansing function. I must’ve pressed it by accident, and it shot water at me,” Philia said.
“Y-Yeah. Sorry, I should’ve explained it first.”
I couldn’t blame her for being surprised.
Bidet toilets simply didn’t exist yet in this world. People wiped with scraps of hemp or linen cloth after doing their business, but that was a luxury only nobles could afford. Commoners used dried leaves, sticks, or washed themselves with water they’d collected ahead of time.
In the early days, when we lived in basic level-one and level-two houses, we used water to clean our bums. But now that we’d upgraded to the large houses, the toilets had evolved too.
And even the apartments came equipped with bidet toilets. They even had warm water. The villagers had been thrilled.
“Everyone here has one of these? I’m jealous...” Philia said, mystified.
“Ha ha. Yeah, they’re definitely convenient.”
“Oh, it goes beyond convenience.”
“Beyond?”
What does that mean?
“A-Anyway, how do you even make these toilets?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. I used my Gift to make everything, including the house and bathroom.”
“Your Gift?”
“Right, right. I guess I never explained.” I gave her the rundown of how I’d gotten my Village-Making Gift, how everyone had considered it useless, how I’d been basically disowned by my family and exiled to develop this wasteland into a village.
“That’s... That’s absurd! That Gift is obviously powerful. Is your family stupid?” Philia asked bluntly.
“Well, no one knew. It only works on unclaimed land. The Gift won’t activate if I’m on land that’s already owned.”
If they ever found out what my Gift could really do, they might try to drag me back—but I had no intention of ever returning.
“Tch.” Philia released a frustrated sigh. “If you need the Gift to make it, then I suppose there’s no way to bring that toilet technology back to our village.”
We invited them to spend the night in the village. Since they were a much smaller party than Dant’s, we let them stay at my home rather than offering the guest house.
The next morning, I told Philia she could stay another day if she wanted.
“No, the others will worry if we stay too long.”
“That makes sense. Please visit again sometime, okay?”
“Of course. You have delicious food, warm baths, and a clean place to stay. This village is amazing. I’d love to come back anytime.”
Even though they looked a little reluctant to leave, Philia and the others seemed set on going.
They’d arrived hesitant and guarded, but all of them had eventually warmed up to our village and seemed to have genuinely enjoyed their stay.
And they’d liked the baths a lot. So much in fact that they’d snuck out for another soak last night and even woke up early this morning to get in one more.
“Huh? Where’s Philia?” one of the elves said.
“The commander? She said she needed to use the restroom before we left.”
The restroom, hm...
Now that I was thinking of it, Philia had been going in there a lot since yesterday.
Maybe she has an upset stomach? I was starting to feel a little concerned, so I went to check on her. When I reached the door, I immediately heard the sound of her voice coming from inside.
“Mm, haah... Ooh, that feels so good... Aah, yes... Right there... Nnhaah...”
I silently turned around.
Yep, I heard nothing. Not a thing.
A few minutes later, Philia returned from the restroom looking ridiculously refreshed.
“Well, then! Thanks for everything. You wouldn’t mind if we came back to visit sometime, then?”
“O-Of course... Anytime...” I nodded, trying my best to act normally.
I didn’t hear a thing... Not a thing.
After that, the whole village emerged to see the elves off. They finally departed, Philia and her party disappearing into the woods.