Kotobuki closed her eyes and stood on her tiptoes to offer her lips to Kai. The soft sensation was forced upon him. Manga and the like usually compared the texture to marshmallows, but the real thing was totally different. In reality, kisses were far softer; their character was much too gentle and slippery to be considered elastic. If any marshmallow were this sensual on the lips, they’d probably sell like hotcakes.
...Wait, I gotta focus here!
The haze cleared from his mind and Kai suddenly came to his senses. He jerked his head back to break free from Kotobuki’s kiss, but Kotobuki leaned forward even further to chase him. He tried to grab her shoulders and gently push her away; he couldn’t just shove a girl off, of course. Kai expected her exposed skin to be soft, but he was surprised at just how dainty she was, at just how different men and women were.
Well, maybe Kotobuki was just an outlier. He’d gotten used to physical contact from Jun and he didn’t remember her feeling so fragile. That’s why he put extra care into the level of force he used as he carefully pushed Kotobuki away.
“...Do you hate me?”
“I don’t hate you.”
“But you don’t love me, do you?”
“I don’t want to play semantics. Not now.” It’d just make him sad.
“If you made me your lover, I could kiss you like that every day.”
“...Stop it, okay?”
“If you wish, Kai, I could even let you go further...”
“Please stop. I’m begging you.”
Kai shook his head. He didn’t trust his ability to give any explanation, no matter how simplified, so he just kept shaking his head again and again and again.
“I’m happy you feel that way about me, really...” Kai didn’t have the slightest intention of blaming or scolding Kotobuki. She was a bashful kid; it wasn’t hard to imagine that she must have given it a lot of thought to do something so bold. “But if this is the way you go about it, I won’t even be able to see you anymore.”
No matter how many kisses Kotobuki drenched him in, Kai could never respond to her feelings. Sure, he had a libido of his own, but only his body would be experiencing that pleasure, not his heart. If Kotobuki continued to chase him even after it was clear that they wouldn’t become lovers, then Kai would have only one responsible option: to reject her completely. To never see her again. It would just be too much sorrow. Far more than he could bear.
But would Kotobuki understand that? As he gripped her dainty shoulders, Kai looked at her expression. He couldn’t see anything, though; she hung her head as though she couldn’t bear to look at him any longer. All his eyes could capture were the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Kotobuki!”
“...I’m sorry, Nakamura.” Kotobuki spun around and swatted Kai’s hands back. She departed through the break room door as though running away.
“Kotobuki, wait!”
“I’ll call you later! Good luck with work!”
Kotobuki slammed the door shut behind her. Kai hesitated, unsure of whether he should go after her or leave her be, but he eventually chose the latter. It wasn’t like he could just leave his job on the spot, and Kotobuki would probably be long gone by the time he explained the situation to his manager. He just had to trust that she’d keep her word about calling him later.
“Dammit...”
Kai found himself cursing. Kotobuki’s figure as she bolted out of the break room seemed smaller than he’d ever seen her before. He was filled with regret; if he were more mature, maybe he could have defused the situation without making Kotobuki cry.
But for the person he was now, this was the best Kai could do. If Reina hadn’t given him that warning—that is, if he hadn’t reconsidered just how important Jun’s friendship was to him—that sudden kiss might have caused him to give in to the urges of a typical pubescent boy. With that possibility in mind, Kai at least had to commend himself for standing firm.
“Aaaaaaaaaagh, this suuuuuuuucks!” sighed Kai pathetically. He got kissed by a beautiful girl like Kotobuki and didn’t feel the slightest bit of joy from it. And that was his first time too. He’d always seen people in manga wonder about what kisses tasted like, but now that he’d experienced one, he had to say that they didn’t have much of a flavor at all.
However, his first kiss had quite the nasty aftertaste.