That night, at midnight, a conversation was taking place deep within the Imperial Magic Academy regarding tomorrow’s exam results announcement. A group of old men spoke in hushed tones, gathered together in a tightly shuttered room.
“This ‘Alisa’ girl has scored quite high.”
“Odd. There are no records of her attending any of the local prep schools.”
“Perhaps she studied under an exceptionally talented Mage...?”
“Hmmm... Possibly. You know, we’re seeing a steady increase in female examinees lately, and we all know they have the advantage when it comes to oral exams and verbal communication in general... I hate to say it, but it’d be unfair to the other students to let Alisa in, don’t you think?”
“Hah hah hah! My thoughts exactly! These women will all just retire in a few years anyway!”
“Indeed. Plus, male students are typically late bloomers—I’m sure they’ll improve eventually. But for now, it appears we’ll need to regulate the results again this year.”
“Very well. In keeping with past years, let’s dock an even twenty points from each female,” declared the chairman, Dan Gan.
The very next moment, all the lights in the room were simultaneously extinguished.
This caused quite a stir among the men. They were in the deepest part of the Academy building—an impregnable shelter with layers of magical barriers, designed to house the imperial royal family in the event of an emergency.
But someone had found their way in.
“You really shouldn’t have let the Great Sorceress hear that, you know. But I diiiid,” called an eerily singsong voice. A woman’s voice.
“Wh-Who’s there?!”
“That’s right. We heard every last word of that. Girls have the advantage in oral exams because of our verbal communication skills? We’re all just going to run off and quit our jobs? And this is somehow a valid reason to lower people’s test scores? Do you think this is a fucking joke?” asked another woman, her voice shaking with anger. “Women don’t choose to be like this. The world around us forces us to ‘grow up’ when we’re still children—oh, but men get to be ‘late bloomers’? Take your twenty points and SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS!”
As her voice shook the room, the other, softer voice chimed in, “Yes, it appears you’ve ‘royally fucked up,’ as it were. And this the Great Laplace shall not abide.”
The men began to whimper. “L-Laplace?! Who are you people?! You dare speak the name of the Wicked Dragonwhore?!”
Two women quietly appeared from behind the tightly drawn curtains. How could they have gotten in through those firmly shuttered windows?
One was dressed all in black, with long, glossy, raven-black hair—darkness personified. Like a shadow, she floated idly in midair. The men gasped. Levitation magic? Impossible. No human alive could possibly use such overpowered sorcery. Not here in Pajan, anyway.
And as for the other—
“Eeeek!”
She was a Knight, carrying a sword on her back the length of her entire body. Her hair was pale pink, and she was smiling—but the smile didn’t reach her eyes, which were burning with unbridled fury as she cracked her glove-covered knuckles.
“I know you. You’re—!”
“Yeah, that’s right. I’m Tanya Artemiciov, the woman who dared to graduate at the top of her class.”
Fwump! Tanya swung her sword down hard, unleashing a razor-sharp gust of air that slashed at the men’s clothes.
“Was that... Wind Blade?!”
“With no incantation?! And that sword... No, it can’t be! You’re... a Magi-Knight?!”
“S-Someone hel—mmmpphh?!”
A light snap echoed across the room, and the cry for help was extinguished. What kind of spell was that? And how could she perform it with no incantation or casting time? The old men stared in shock.
Next, Tanya plunged her sword into the floor, unleashing an Icicle Prison—no incantation, natch—and all the while her smile never wavered for an instant, as though it were plastered onto her face.
“Now then, about this ‘regulation’ shit. You’re going to promise me you’ll never, ever try to do this again... or else we’ve got a loooong night ahead of us. Oh, and you’ll need to pull up everyone you’ve unfairly denied and enroll them, too. You wouldn’t want me to get angry, right?” A vein bulged in her forehead as she chuckled.
Beside her, Laplace grinned like the Cheshire Cat, enjoying the festivities. She snapped her fingers... and outside the window, a streak of lightning shot across the sky as a violent storm suddenly rolled in.
“Oh dear, Laplace, how could you? Now no one can hear them scream.”
“Oui, oui. It’s time to get this party started.”
The men stood rooted to the spot as despair washed over each and every one of them.
“Mmmph... mmmgghhh!”
And by the time the night was over... well, some things are better left unsaid.
The next morning, the Imperial Magic Academy board of directors stumbled out, knees quaking, to deliver the “List of Passing Candidates (Undoctored)” and “List of Erroneously Miscategorized Passing Candidates” to the office clerk. The moment these two lists were placed in the clerk’s hands, the men all began to froth at the mouth until they passed out.
When asked, not a single one of them, Dan Gan included, could explain what had happened to them. All they could manage to say was...
“S-Snitches get stitches...!”
✦ ✦ ✦
“As of today, I’m officially joining your party. Thank you for having me,” said Nadine, inclining her head respectfully. Gone was her counter clerk uniform; now she wore adventurers’ gear.
“Welcome to the party!”
“Bienvenue, mademoiselle!”
They had already registered with the Guild as a three-member party:
Tanya, Magi-Knight, Level 100.
Laplace, Mage(?), Level 100++.
Nadine, Healer... Level 3.
Party level: 67.
“Now we’re Rank C! And that means we can enter the tournament!” Tanya thrust her fists into the air victoriously. Fuck yeah!
“Oh, that reminds me. Alisa and her siblings came by the Guild on my last day... They wanted me to give you this.” Nadine took a letter out of her bag... along with a single flower.
To: Tanya and Friends
I never would’ve made it into the Imperial Magic Academy without all of you. Miss Nadine, you were always there for me when I needed you. Miss Laplace, thank you for babysitting my brothers and sisters. And Tanya-sensei, thank you for everything.
I love you all so, SO much, and I hope someday I can stand on equal ground with all of you as a fellow adventurer.
—Alisa
“She actually made it in... Tanya, you’re really something, you know that?” Nadine remarked.
“Who, me? Nahhh,” Tanya demurred. She could feel her face growing hot. Jeez, don’t embarrass me, you dork!
“Hey, what’s that supposed to be?!” Laplace pointed over Tanya’s shoulder at a childish doodle tucked away in one corner of the stationery. Long, black hair... a black dress... and ample cleavage...
P.S. One of my siblings drew Laplace! Isn’t it cute?
“No, it isn’t! I’m at least a hundred times cuter than this!”
“Oooh, someone’s blushing!”
“Non, non! I’m not blushing!”
“Are too!”
“Am not!”
Meanwhile, Nadine was busy filling out the party registration paperwork (since Tanya was so incredibly bad at it). And when she was done, she would walk into her former workplace to turn it in. What a strange feeling.
“Let’s see... What shall our party name be?” Nadine asked the others.
“Good question... Uhhh...”
Tanya glanced around until her eyes eventually settled on the single lily Alisa had sent with her letter.
“You know, I started this party to kick ass and get revenge, but... it can’t hurt to have a pretty name, right?”
She gazed down at the untarnished white petals.
“Our party name will be... Lilium.”