“But then Dad died, and you shot someone.”
I didn’t think I could hope for anything anymore. But then my brother—the only family I had left—took my hand.
“You’re still going on about that? I just used you.”
I don’t care. That was fine with me. I needed to throw that stuff away. I needed the bad stuff that happened, all of it.
“Why? Now you want to desperately cling to those attachments?”
Toi glanced back and turned the barrel of his gun at his brother. “These are the relationships I chose. I’ll end them with my own hands!”
BANG!
Hundreds of ten-thousand-yen bills went fluttering through the air. Chikai laughed as they danced around him. “In this world, it’s the bad people who survive.” Slowly, he plummeted down toward the Sumida River. “Which will you be…?” Static rippled across his body as he transformed into an otter and disappeared. “Odd-er…”
Toi silently closed his eyes. “Goodbye, Brother.” In his mind’s eye, he could see the red and blue ferry sailing away. He soon reopened his eyes and started forward again.
He was getting closer and closer to his ten-year-old self.
Any time he wanted something, he had to be prepared to lose something as well. So he always threw things away before he could lose them. That had worked pretty well for him. That’s why he figured he might as well throw away the pain this time, too.
Toi aimed his gun at his younger self. “Now I can end everything.”
BANG!
Just as he was pulling the trigger, something slammed into him. Enta tackled him, throwing off his trajectory. The bullet instead grazed Kazuki’s right ankle as he stepped protectively in front of the younger Toi. It sliced through the blue friendship bracelet tied around Kazuki’s foot.
“Gah!” Kazuki collapsed, feeling an intense burning pain.
“Kazuki!” Enta immediately raced to his side.
The impact sent Toi’s Tokarev flying. His ten-year-old self was still there, untouched. He felt his rage building. “You two…what are you doing here?”
Kazuki and Enta immediately turned their eyes toward him. “We came to get you back!”
There it was again. They were always doing things, regardless of what Toi actually wanted.
“I’m completely sick of you both!” he shrieked at them.
The Tokarev instantly flew up through the air and fired.
BANG!
This time, the bullet hit its mark, piercing Toi’s younger self. The blue friendship bracelet he was holding abruptly disappeared.
“D-d-d-d-d-d-darkness! All of your ties shall now be consigned to oblivion!” Black Keppi stole their consciousnesses.
Scene 2
WHEN THEY CAME TO, the three of them were falling headlong, the world white all around them. Silver rings occasionally passed them by.
“Where is this…?” Kazuki wondered aloud.
Enta shouted, “Something’s coming!”
An enormous taiko drum appeared straight ahead of them—in the direction they were falling. Three fat comma shapes were patterned into the surface of the drum. As they got closer, the pattern began to warp into a complex overlap of circles. Three circles closed around separate words: No Beginning, No End, and No Connection. Repelled by the silver rings around them, the three boys were flung into the center of the three rings on the drum, where a hole appeared. This was the beginning of oblivion.
Back then, Kazuki thought, I just wanted to go anywhere that wasn’t here. Since I didn’t have ties to anyone, I thought I didn’t belong. I know some part of me was just waiting—for someone to reach out and pull someone as stubborn as me forward. I found it—found them. I found a place where I can smile again. I don’t want to lose these ties!
“No… All of my memories are disappearing! All of our memories!”
It was all disappearing. The memory of the morning Toi first transferred to their class and Kazuki learned it hadn’t all been a dream. The memory of Kazuki, dressed as Sara, accidentally stumbling upon Toi as he was trying to jack that car in that high-rise parking lot. The memory of them encountering Keppi at the Kappa Plaza after somehow being summoned there. The memory of them being turned into kappa after accidentally calling Keppi a “frog.” The memory of Kazuki discovering Toi’s secret when they wore the bee ninja costumes at Hanayashiki. Even the memory of them recovering Nyantaro and how Toi fought with them over the whole Wishing Plates thing.
Back then, Enta thought, I just wanted to go anywhere that wasn’t here. I was a coward always looking in from the outside. I know some part of me was waiting—for those hopeless delusions of mine to be shattered into pieces. I suck at backing down, so I don’t plan to let go of either of them. I want us all to laugh together forever!
“No… At this rate, it’s all going to disappear!”
It was all disappearing. The memory of him starting the fight at their practice area, and how Toi saved him—not Kazuki, as his fantasies would have had him believe. The memory of him returning the blue friendship bracelet to Kazuki and making his once-in-a-lifetime confession. The memory of the strange tension between him and Kazuki as they wrestled skin to skin in a sumo match. The memory of his own delusion in which Kappa-Kazuki kicked his Miracle Shot. The memory of his own impending death, and how Kazuki raced toward Enta screaming, tears in his eyes.
Back then, Toi thought, I just wanted to go anywhere that wasn’t here. Unable to laugh or cry, I let go of all hope. I’m sure some part of me was waiting—for the leaden sin I had in my hands to possess me and kill me. I wasn’t supposed to belong to anyone or anywhere. I wasn’t supposed to possess anything that I couldn’t just throw away, and yet…