“What…? This is a disaster!”
I hear a voice form overhead. Has someone come to rescue me?
I look up and see the head teacher gawking. He must have heard the commotion and come running.
He’s staring at the graffiti covering the gym, jaw hanging open.
Thank God. I’m saved.
If he takes over, everything will work out. I won’t have to think anymore—about how schools should be or how teachers should act. To hell with it all. I’m only twenty-three—don’t ask too much of me.
“Ms. Ookuma, what’s the meaning of this? Explain the situation this instant!”
He comes over to me, and I just stand there.
“Students…with cans of spray paint. They ran off…”
“Good God! Why didn’t you stop them, Ms. Ookuma?!”
“I tried! There were a whole bunch of them. What was I supposed to do?”
I hear a loud clap. A second later, my cheek feels hot, followed by a rush of throbbing pain.
He hit me. It takes several seconds for me to work out what happened.
“Who cares how many there were?! You see them, you stop them!” he screams, spitting in my face.
“D-don’t ask the impossible! I can’t work miracles!”
“This only happened because you never control your students!” he roars, raising his hand again.
Another clap, and my ears ring. I’m too stunned to move, one hand holding the cheek he just slapped.
Why? Why is this happening? Why is he hitting me? This doesn’t make any sense.
“Argh, this year’s just one problem after another! Get it together!”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Tch, I don’t wanna hear it. I told you to fix this!” Glaring at me, he runs his hands through his hair, not even trying to hide his anger. “Take care of this graffiti. Now. Then go find the culprits.”
“Uh… They’re…”
I know their names. Kurumi Hoshimiya, Ren Natsume, and Nana Nanaougi. I’m about to say as much, but the words stick in my throat. I hesitate.
Looking up at the head teacher, I find other words instead.
“Wh-what’ll happen to—?”
“Isn’t it obvious? They’ll be expelled,” he says. He doesn’t even let me finish.
I figured as much. Their acts went against rules and ran counter to common sense. Of course the consequences would be dire. I knew they should all face the music.
Still, I couldn’t help but wonder—would expelling them make this place any better? Was ridding ourselves of dissent and casting out those who didn’t fit in truly the path to peace?
The abuse broadcast at the school festival, the graffiti with the severed heads, the itemized insult receipt, the “leaked” test answers—all of that carried a message about this school’s flaws.
Are those students really in the wrong? I’m not sure.
Kurumi Hoshimiya put my own words in with her own feelings of rage against the school. She said they fit right in.
If I really am just like them, then ratting them out to the head teacher would be tantamount to betraying my own heart.
When I say nothing, he sighs.
“Listen, Ms. Ookuma, I don’t really want to expel anyone.”
“…Right! Of course not.”
Yeah. I don’t want to expel anyone, either.
But that’s how things work. Society has rules, and they have to be followed.
“We won’t be able to collect tuition from them, and it’ll have a negative impact on next year’s admissions. Plus, we’ll have fewer bullets to shoot at gates of the tough colleges. There isn’t a single upside for us.”
“…Um?”
I feel the bile rise in my throat.
Is he talking about our students? Like that, with those words?
I open my eyes wide and stare at him, gaze full of protest. He looks back at me, ice-cold.
“Ms. Ookuma, in this day and age, expelling problem students is no laughing matter.”
“……”
“Your failure to keep them under control has destroyed their academic careers.”
…What the hell is his problem?
I clench my jaw so hard, my teeth hurt.
Fuck off. Fuck off. This is not my fault.
Saigou High is technically a prep school of some repute. We didn’t have any students who screwed around in junior high.
Of course.
“World’s worst school! Daily insults! Test scores don’t decide your worth! No more grades-based discrimination! This is madness! Human rights matter!”
Seeing that graffiti, thinking back on their attacks—I realize something.
It was the school itself that drove those students to do what they did.
So why was I getting blamed for it? This is nuts.
You’re the one at fault. It’s this school! Your awful system!
You’ve been doing the same shit since long before I got here. You’re to blame!
“Now get rid of this graffiti. All of it. We can’t start the assembly like this.”
He shoves me away and leaves the gym.
As his footsteps fade, something rises inside me.
I’ve spent my life running away, but I still have a mind of my own.
I can’t put up with this. I don’t want to. I want to erase it from the world.
By the time I realize what I’m feeling is rage, my body is already on the move.
I get to my feet, run, and grab the head teacher.
“Fuck you! Fuck you! Who do you think you are?!”
“…?! Wh-what’s gotten into you, nitwit?!”
“Augh!”
I meant to sock him one. But as I get close, he shoves me away, and I land on my ass.
“What was that about, Ms. Ookuma?” He kneels down and grabs a fistful of my hair.
“Ugh… That hurts…!”
“This is why the students think they can get away with this crap!” he spits.
Then he snatches up a can of paint off the floor. He points it right at my face and presses the button, spraying me with black paint.
“Augh! Ahh! Cough, cough!”
“Oh, dear! Ms. Ookuma, you poor thing! You tried to stop some bad students and got spray paint in your face!”
“…?! You…you…!”
It galls me, but all I can do is splutter.
I’m scared. It hurts. I can’t even open my eyes.
“I won’t take further action on this matter. Wash your face and get back to work, imbecile.”
He throws the can at my stomach and stalks out of the gym.
“Urgh…unhhhhh…”
The whole world is black. My eyes are screwed shut, and only tears escape them. I can’t stop crying.
I’ve failed. Again. All I can do is lie here and cry.
“Wah…wahhhhhh…wahhhhhhh…”
My sobs echo through the empty gym.
But as I listen to my voice, it begins to sound like someone else’s.
I know I’m imagining it. I know. And yet—it doesn’t sound like me.
The more I listen, the more it sound like the voice of that girl.
“You hate this school just as much as we do.”
Kurumi Hoshimiya. I think back to the words she flung at me.
“It’s not enough if we don’t get payback! Our hearts demand vengeance!”
…All right. I see. I get it. This is what they meant. This is why they want revenge.
“Let’s get vengeance on this godforsaken school together!”
I feel a kind of heat at the back of my skull. An impulse I can’t stave off, bubbling out from my core. I can’t stop it.
Oh. Kurumi Hoshimiya was right. I never actually grew up.
If that scumbag is a grown-up, then I never want to be one.
Screw that noise. He slapped me! Twice! And now he’s gonna pay.
Did it make sense? Was it justified? Sit and spin. I don’t give a crap! None of that bullshit matters now!
I won’t be satisfied until this godforsaken school pays!
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Whaaaaaaat the heeeelllllll!”
I open my eyes and grab the paint can off the floor.
I can hear the pea rattling in the can.
✦ ✦ ✦
The graffiti was still there when the start time arrived, so the Wrap-up Assembly never happened.
Word went around to the homeroom teachers that morning, canceling the event.
The worst summer curriculum in Saigou High history ended with a self-study period, and it was on that note that August 31 ended, giving way to September.