We got so into our scheming that evening crept up on us.
Feeling hungry, we headed out to the nearest grocery store. Kurumi said she’d cook something, so I took her up on the offer.
Discussing the potential menu, we made our way around the store.
Every piece of music they played over the loudspeakers was something I’d heard before. On the way back, I carried the bags.
Kurumi stashed the ingredients in the fridge, and then we thought up what she could make with them. Kurumi did the cooking, finishing up at around six.
We sat down at one of the two-seater tables for a combination lunch and dinner.
“Here you go. Dig in, Natsume.”
“Thanks for going to all the trouble.”
We put our hands together, then reached for our chopsticks.
She’d made ginger-fried pork on a bed of shredded cabbage, served with white rice and miso soup with eggplant.
I’d been hungry for quite a while, and seeing the spread only further whetted my appetite. I grabbed a slice of meat and carried it to my mouth. After that, I shoveled in some rice, then took a sip of soup.
It was all good. But it wasn’t just good. Was there some sweetness to it? No, that wasn’t the right word. I couldn’t put my finger on it. There was a depth to it, or a warmth. It went beyond the actual temperature of the food.
It was clearly different from the restaurant food and premade dishes I usually ate.
This wasn’t just delicious—it was deeply satisfying. The meal warmed me to the core.
“Kurumi, are you, like…a really good cook?”
“Uh, I think I’m pretty average. I just follow the recipe.”
Maybe my hunger had just made everything taste way better than usual. I ate some more, trying to figure out the mystery, and Kurumi started giggling.
“Were you always such a big eater?” she asked.
“Uh… I dunno, am I eating a lot? I may have lost myself in the food.”
“You sure know how to flatter a girl. Fine, you can have seconds.”
Clearly tickled pink, Kurumi grabbed my empty plate and went back to the kitchen.
✦ ✦ ✦
I ended up having thirds, too. My belly should have been swollen, but somehow, it all settled perfectly into my stomach.
Still sitting across from each other, we put our hands together again, signaling the end of the meal.
“Thanks a lot,” I said.
“Sure! It was no problem at all.”
She’d cooked up a fantastic dinner. I felt like I’d just eaten the most delicious meal of my life. We had some popsicles for dessert, then did the dishes together.
As we relaxed, it grew darker and darker outside. It was now past seven.
“It’s getting late, Kurumi. I’d better head home.”
“Oh, already? You don’t have to. Or do you have a strict curfew?”
“No, it’s not strict at all. In fact, I’ve never had one.”
“Hmm… So your parents let you do whatever you want?”
“Hardly. It’s just that they’re almost never home, so no one ever thought to establish any rules.”
“You don’t say? Hmm.”
Kurumi’s voice dropped. Had my story depressed her? Maybe I should’ve kept it to myself.
“I just figured I should leave before the last train.”
“Huh? It’s only seven. The last train isn’t for a while yet.”
“When in unfamiliar territory, it’s always best to play it safe. There’s not many trains this far out, and it could get dicey.”
Some country stations ended service as early as ten.
I thanked her for the meal again, then got up and headed for the door. I put my shoes on and grabbed my bag, checking my pockets to make sure I had everything.
Good, nothing missing. Time to go.
The sun was setting, and the streets would be dark soon.
“Well, Kurumi, thanks again.”
I put my hand on the door, and she came out to see me off.
“I know the way,” I said. “No need to walk me to the station.”
She didn’t respond.
“……”
I turned back to see a tense expression on her face. She wasn’t just sad to see me go—this was more than that. Kurumi’s brow furrowed, and she gave me a searching look.
“What? Something wrong?” I asked.
“…Natsume, just a thought…but do you need to go home?”
“Huh? Don’t I?”
“If there’s nobody waiting for you, why go home? There’s nothing stopping you from staying longer.”
“Well… But like I said, if I miss the last train…”
Kurumi pouted. “I know that! But who cares? Let the last train go!”
“And what, camp out in the fields?”
I was totally lost. Kurumi’s cheeks turned red, and she averted her eyes.
Not facing me, as if tossing the words over her shoulder, she muttered, “I’m saying you could just stay here.”
“……”
Seriously? Is that what she meant? …I had no idea.
I considered it, absently playing with my hair. I understood what she was saying, and she did have a point. I had no family waiting for me and no one to yell at me if I stayed out. No one would even notice. And Kurumi was living here alone. No parents to impose on.
If Kurumi said I could stay, then I could stay.
…But, like, staying over at a girl’s place? Just the two of us?
Was that kosher? Was that allowed? Really?
“N-Natsume, say something! You’re killing me.”
As the wheels in my head churned, Kurumi pushed me for an answer, her face still beet red. I know! I’m trying to decide. I’m working through it! The debate in my head raged for well over a minute, and finally…
“…Isn’t it kind of a problem for a teenage boy to sleep over at a teenage girl’s house?”
Kurumi rolled her eyes at me and let out a deeply disappointed sigh. “You’re still stuck in that stodgy mindset?”
“I mean…it’s a big deal! You’ve gotta have reservations!”
“Ugh, enough! Fine, I’ll beat that old-fashioned attitude right out of you.”
Kurumi fixed me with a glare and stepped in close. Still in her stocking feet, she got down into the entryway. Then, without a second’s pause, she stole my lips.
“Mmm… Smooch… God, you’re such a handful, Natsume.”
It was a rough, passionate kiss, like our lips were groping each other.
“Mmm… Hey… Why are you…?”
“It’s fine. Smooch… Now shush. No protesting… Mmph…”
Her moist lips ran roughshod over mine, and I just stood there. Her breath tickled, her grip on my back was tight; I didn’t fight her. For the sake of my honor, let it be known that I wasn’t expecting anything. I would never.
“Mmm… Gasp!”
Kurumi pulled away, like surfacing from a pool, and the kiss ended.
I was hot. My head was on fire, but my thoughts were clear. She’d cleared my mind.
“Hah…hahhh… That was unexpected.”
“Hmph. It’s your own fault!”
Her face was right there—eyes of black quartz, peering into my soul. I couldn’t run from them.
“So, Natsume? How do you really feel?”
“………I’d like to be with you some more, so can I stay?”
“Hah! You can move in, if you’d like.”
………So anything goes, then?
Fine. I get it. At this point, I might as well go along with whatever she says.
To hell with petty concerns. We didn’t need to be sensible. We’d abandoned all that a long time ago.
I took my shoes off and stepped back into Kurumi’s house. I put my bookbag down, then placed my wallet and cigarettes on the table. I loosened my tie and took it off. Then I undid the top button of my shirt.
Kurumi watched my every move, her gaze intense.
“Heh-heh… Resign yourself, Natsume.”
“To what?”
“I’ve got two futons, but I’m only taking out one.”
“What? Why? Don’t be mean.”
“But don’t you worry, I thought this might happen, so I came prepared. I swallowed my shame and bought some! Though I had to guess your size.”
Wait. What would she be ashamed to buy that came in sizes?
…Did she mean…?
“…Kurumi, you mean that?”
“Inappropriate relations are a form of rebellion. We already agreed to that.”
We had. But were we really going there?
My heart was racing. I knew my cheeks were burning up.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I took in her slender shoulders and her breasts, quietly calling attention to themselves. There were her supple thighs, neither too thick nor too thin. It was all so dazzling, I felt like my retinas were on the verge of burning out.
I forced my mouth to open and, with my last shred of reason, squeezed out, “…Shouldn’t you save that for someone you really care about?”
“Natsume, I care more about you than about anyone else in the world. More than anyone else in my life.” Kurumi’s smile was as innocent as it was alluring. “Or do you not feel the same way? Don’t you care about me?”
“…No, I’m with you. No one matters to me more than you do.”
“Then what else is there to think about? This is what I want. It’s what we want. Even if what we want is all too normal, extraordinarily commonplace, all we need to do is yield to the impulse and fall together. I think there’s real value in that.”
She was overcomplicating matters, but I got the gist of it.
This might be a tawdry form of rebellion, an inappropriate relationship, a cheap gesture of love. But if we made the choice ourselves, then that made it worthwhile.
There was no use worrying about morality, sense, or what other people would think. None of that mattered.
Kurumi’s eyes closed halfway, and she put her hand on my cheek.
“Natsume, resign yourself.”
“…Yeah, okay. I’m in.”
Her hands went around my neck, and I felt her breath on my ear. She pushed me into the futon, straddling me and undoing my buttons. I felt her weight beside me.
“Tell me, Natsume. It’s just you and me, and we’ve got the whole night ahead of us. How far are we gonna take this?”
Kurumi had never blushed harder, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
It was early August, and I was just realizing for the first time the base physicality of the world. Now I knew that some summer nights got even hotter after dark.
We were no longer free of sin. This act had no punch line, no wordplay.
My fingers locked in hers, and we went wherever the night took us.
That was all there was to it.