My face felt warm. The chirping of birds seemed so far away. Oh, it’s morning already? As of today, it had been five days since my failed summoning attempt. As soon as I’d exceeded the limits of my revitalization magic, my body had aged instantly. I could no longer see. I could no longer even lift a finger. I hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday.
Perhaps this was what it was like to die alone. I suspected that this day would be the last time I’d feel the sun’s warmth. My blanket felt so heavy on me, it was almost painful. I was now sincerely regretting never having taken on a disciple or hired an assistant. It would have been nice, but it was far too late for that now.
I began thinking back to that otherworlder that I’d summoned. Wouldn’t it have been nice if I’d been able to spend the last few days of my life instilling him with every last piece of my knowledge, my experience, and my will?
I’d yearned for that kind of quiet, peaceful life, even if I knew it was pathetic to have done so. That was all in the past. The summoning had failed, and there was nothing I could do about it anymore. Thinking about what could’ve been only put me in more agony. It was better to empty my mind.
My long life was coming to an end. I’d devoted everything I had to my research for the sake of humanity, and at the end of it, I’d finally had a breakthrough. Tragically, I couldn’t pass this knowledge on before I died. It made me wonder what the point of my life had been. I’d spent most of my life doing research in a remote cabin. Had I even lived?
I’d dropped out of the magic academy partway through to focus solely on my research. I didn’t interact with any family members. I never met up with friends. I kept to myself, all because I believed that relationships in any form were simply a waste of time. Thus, I’d never taken it upon myself to find a husband or a boyfriend. I had never become romantically involved with anyone—I’d never even held the hands of a significant other. Of course, I’d never had children either or engaged in any sexual activities.
Having never really spent time with my family nor had a family of my own made me feel as if I’d never really lived. I had been so single-mindedly focused on my goal of saving others that I never even considered saving myself.
I could feel hunger and thirst gripping my body. My life was nearing its end. If only I’d never attempted that summoning, I might have been able to live another month or so. Maybe in that time, I could’ve found myself a companion. Then again, thanks to the negative stigma of being a witch and how I lived so far from society, there was little to no chance of that.
Maybe if people didn’t hate dark magic so much, I could have led an enjoyable life alongside other researchers, all of us with the same goal. But I doubt I would’ve been able to get as far as I had. I’d only been motivated to push myself like this because people hated dark magic. Heh, wow. My life really has been pointless. If my life had no meaning, then I supposed I should be happy to throw it away and eagerly await my next one. An old hag like me should just die already.
“I want to live...”
“Oh, wow, you’re still just barely hanging in there.”
Am I dead? Am I dreaming? I didn’t know anyone, especially not a man, who would travel all the way out here to visit me. I couldn’t see what he looked like, but I knew that he was standing in the doorway of my hut.
“Hm? Are you actually alive? Looks like you are... Just barely, though. Ugh, I’ll yell at her later. Anyway, do your ears still work?”
“Yes... Who are you?” I asked in a raspy voice.
“A certain person told me to come here. Your name is Shina, right? How’s it feel to have lived your entire life and accomplished nothing whatsoever?”
“Not very kind, are you? Did you come all the way here to mock a dying woman?”
“Nope, not at all. I wanna know how strong your will is. Any regrets?” Regrets? Of course! Regrets are all I have! “Let me simplify the question, actually. Do you wanna die? Or do you wanna keep clinging to life?”
“What do you mean? You make it sound as if...”
“I can keep you alive? Yeah, of course I can. I wouldn’t waste my time coming all the way out here if I couldn’t. But here’s the thing—there are a few requirements you have to meet.”
“Requirements?”
“Yep. This ain’t charity. First, I need to confirm something.” He exhaled before continuing. “Are you a virgin?”
What kind of question is that? “Is that really something to ask an old lady like myself? However...as ashamed as I am, the answer is yes.”
“Okay, then second—are you willing to discard your dignity as a human and serve me for the rest of your life?”
“Serve...you?”
“In other words, you’ll be my slave. You won’t be able to live as a human anymore. Whatever regrets you have, you may never be able to resolve them.”
Slave? Virgin? I had a feeling I knew what he was getting at. “Do you intend to make me your sex slave? Will having intercourse with an old lady like me be enjoyable for you?”
“No, see—when I save you, you’ll become young again. You’ll be semipermanently young.”
“In other words, you plan to semipermanently have intercourse with me?”
“Well, you’re free to interpret my words however you’d like.”
I see. So my choices are either to die and go to hell, or to stay alive in a living hell. “Why save me? Just for the sex? I don’t think I’m that attractive.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You’re plenty beautiful...but that’s not the point. This is my way of thanking you.”
“Thanking me?”
“Yeah—your dark magic has really helped me and others. It’s gonna keep helping people too...maybe the entire world,” he explained. “Anyway, there’s not much time left. Mind making a decision?”
I could either die now, or continue living and have my dignity as a woman constantly violated. Sure, the latter frightened me...but more than anything, I was still confused as to why I was taking him seriously. I hadn’t done anything that he should thank me for. I didn’t even know what he looked like. Even if he saved my life, I couldn’t stomach the thought of potentially having sexual relations with a sweaty, portly, middle-aged man. But even so...
“I want to live. Tell me what I need to do.”
He cackled. “Even after a life of failures, and knowing that you may never be able to rectify your mistakes or resolve your regrets, you choose to cling to life. Very good.” He seemed to be enjoying himself.
“Of course. Dying means the end of things. But if I live, there’s still a chance. I will spread dark magic across this world no matter what, even if it means selling my soul to a demon like you.”
“Demon? Me? That’s harsh.”
“Keeping an old human like myself alive isn’t something a human would do.”
“Technically I’m closer to god or an angel than I am to a demon...” The man let out a sigh and moved closer to me. “Anyway, let’s get this over with. Become mine, Shina.” I felt his breath on my neck and the warmth of his skin. Though I’d never seen his face and it had only been a few minutes since we had met, for some reason, I felt a sense of relief.