Wh-Whoa, that was a surprise. I made a slight control error and suddenly my allies shot up fireworks. Lemme just pull my right hand out of this glove controller real quick... Hey guys, it’s PotatoStarch.
I couldn’t help myself, okay? If you found an expensive VR machine at your front door, you’d want to try it out too, wouldn’t you? We’re all human. We’re all gamers. I was so bored from all the marching, so I was reading the manual, which made me really excited to try it. Maybe not the headgear, but the glove controllers? I’ve always secretly wanted to try them. All of that led to this... Sigh. At least it happened before the battle began. When you get new equipment, you gotta practice first; I didn’t become a controller and keyboard dual-wielding master overnight.
So, back to the game: the human armies are squaring off. What do I do now? I guess this is a fairly common scenario in strategy games. I could ignore it all and charge in alone, but that would ruin the spirit of things, wouldn’t it?
Hm? What’s this? Part of the enemy’s army is running away. Wow! It’s growing more chaotic by the second! Some are even running at us. They don’t seem to be attacking, though. They’ve abandoned their weapons and are shouting surrender. That’s a pleasant surprise. Okay, but you can stop trying to rush down Kuroi. Seriously, that’s just scary. Oh, nice job blocking them, Sir Knight. No one’s allowed to touch Kuroi.
So now both sides are in panic mode... Actually, the enemy’s more in hysteria mode. A slightly noble-looking group has started attacking their fleeing allies. That’s just not right. Now there’s a fancy palanquin coming out and flying a big banner. Is this their general? Then I should meet them with Kuroi... no, the hot knight. Off you go! Sorry, it just seemed like that sort of event. Let’s watch quietly. DDR doesn’t have Japanese voices, anyway. Plus, the text is all summaries.
Well, the ordering might have been reversed, but I assume this is where both sides start arguing that justice is on their side. Talking could probably solve this without fighting, but considering the situation...
Huh? What’s this on the side of my screen? A chat window? What? Isn’t this a special field reserved only for the online arena?
(I’m guess the package arrived?)
Huh? Uh... Excuse me?
(Why aren’t you using all equipment properly?)
Is... Is this...?
(Are you stupid?)
This unmistakable feeling of machine translation...! Could it be... them?
(Please answer. Are you stupid?)
Is it you, the person who sent me that weird email and message card, and the ridiculously expensive gift—yet still manages to be infuriating? Is it you, Romanian?!