“Hmm... this is a battle of endurance,” I mutter to myself. Marius and Zakkow round on me, a frightful look in their eyes. Considering the vampires’ forces are greater than we’d imagined, I don’t blame them. “Calm down, you two. The vampires have appeared, but they aren’t attacking. Let us ask ourselves why. These beasts, who love battle and hunger for blood, have issued a proclamation of war with no chance for diplomacy—yet they refuse to move. Something is quite clearly afoot.”
I dramatically cross my legs, causing my stool to creak. It’s a sickening sound, like a scream. I slap my belly, even though I am not full, and my armor clangs happily. Our soldiers are watching and listening; their leaders cannot afford to become nervous.
“Is it a trap?” asks Marius.
“Probably. Which is very unlike the vampires to do.”
“A trap... Maybe they’re keeping us here while they take a separate force the long way around to attack the Expanse.”
“That isn’t a plan a warrior would come up with. Surely they would rather slam those extra men into us from the side or head-on.”
“Maybe they changed strategies after observing us.”
“That might be the case if our opponents were the honest sort...”
If we base our guesses on human behavior, I would have no issue with Marius’s answer. Certainly, that would be the superior strategy. But would these beasts do such a thing? Or have they crafted some sort of plan?
“Then perhaps it is a silent threat. Maybe they wish for us to withdraw without fighting.”
“We cannot expect such politeness from these things. Don’t you remember Golden? She brought her forces all the way from the far north... oh! I see! Maybe...”
Maybe they came here with a specific goal in mind. Therefore, if this situation satisfies that goal, then there would be nothing strange about it at all. Observe the human army? No, what they’ve done so far would have been enough. If our destruction were their objective, they would have attacked by now. What is it? How are they planning to make use of this situation?
“Hmmm... At present, they don’t seem to be itching to fight. Are they buying time? Or do they simply not care how long this takes? Which is it?”
“Is there a difference?”
“If it’s the former, we can evacuate the citizens. We can leave our army here to show them we don’t intend to let anyone through. Would that be a win-win situation?”
“Hold on. There are many citizens, and the Frontier is far away. If they attack...”
“Then we can simply fight back with the strength of demons. If we do, they will surely withdraw. If their goal is to buy time, then they’ll want to avoid such a short-term decisive battle.”
“That’s a crazy plan.”
“This is war. Oh, but if it comes to that, I want you to fight from afar, Marius. Our priority is to preserve the Bomber Knights. You understand this as well, right, Zakkow?”
“Yes... but are you going to fight head-on, too? What about taking command of a wing of cavalry?”
“I told you, no horses for me, please. The wounds on my inner thighs are deep. Those black wolves are as vicious and barbaric as their masters. At least I was able to protect my dick.”
I spread my legs and shake for them. See? They’re all laughing now. Dirty jokes are the best at times like this. They’re down-to-earth, and make one remember one’s real self.
“Then allow me to check if your plan will work,” says Marius.
“Oh, are you going to do a bit of scouting? Perhaps you should move after we observe the situation for a bit more.”
“Of course, a light challenge should reveal many things to us.”
“Be sure not to clash head-on, now.”
Marius chuckles. “It’ll be just a tickle.”
Good, good. That black-hearted smile means I have nothing to worry about. A young, rosy-cheeked warrior has no business acting as the tragic hero.
Now that I’ve taken care of these two’s morale, it’s time to think. How do we win? Engaging in an espionage war is way too difficult for one as kind, cheerful, and pure of heart as I... but it is much easier than a brute force slugfest.
I can feel it in the air; the blood-sucking beasts at the very front are desperate for battle. They are being forced to do something unusual, but they cannot disobey. It must be quite... frustrating. Even the small fry of Golden’s army were allowed complete autonomy. There is simply no way these beasts can put up with such orders from someone who is not an Apostle. At least, not for very long anyway.
Whatever they are planning, whatever sort of trap this is, if a drawn-out battle is what they require, then eventually a weakness will appear. If we leave them alone, they will slowly destroy themselves. This is a battle of attrition, and no one is better at sucking it up than us. We shall wait patiently for the loose ends to fray... Ah, what sport this is!