People are weak, but humans are strong.
That is why we challenge this world.
✦ ✦ ✦
I’m not going to drink again until I win. Also, I’ll be playing the repentance mini-game ten thousand times! Click, click.
Hey, all! PotatoStarch here. Like I said before, I’ve switched to video recordings. Man, I miss the days when people would comment “PotatoMasochist” and “Like, literally potato starch?” to which I’d respond: “Hell yes!” Ah, the banter. Without the live aspect of streaming, I’m just another no-name on the Internet.
Of course, you may be thinking, “Just livestream then, if you’re going to complain.” I’d love to, but unfortunately I can’t. Claiming “personal reasons” is too cryptic, so I’ll just be honest: if I weren’t bound to secrecy, I’d be rushing to the police or the hospital.
Someone picked a fight with me.
I’m an expert at ignoring things, but even my blood is a little boiled by this. I can’t tell you the details, but I’m seriously pissed at this mysterious bastard. Just you watch... I’ll get the DDR happy end! And once I do, I’ll make you regret crossing my path five thousand trillion times over, Romanian! All I have to do is what I’ve been doing all this time; I just have to focus on staying sober. I’ll enjoy DDR to my heart’s content. There. I’ll play my heart out. There. This is the best. I’m a total grown-up, by the way.
Besides, even if this isn’t live, it’s still streaming. Once I decide to post the video, it’s considered streaming. Oh, I thought of a title for this video. I’m sure you’re all like, “At this point?” but with determination, I have an announcement to make... Drumroll, please...
This is a documentary! A documentary of the path to human victory and glory in DDR! What do you think of that? This strange feeling of pride is amazing. Just watch, I’ll make good on my word!
Okay, that’s enough hot-bloodedness for now. Time to dive in.
The situation on the Frontier is as you can see. Ten thousand soldiers are all in perfect sync thanks to Kuroi’s flawless training exercises. What is this, the opening ceremony for the Olympics? Especially you, hot knight guy. I’m getting a major deja vu from your moves. Such a sharp and exciting aura... Upside, inside out, he’s livin’ la vida loca. He’s freaking Ricky Martin. And his two strong subordinates are like backup dancers. This is just a concert, man.
Things are going in a good direction, at least. Kuroi’s only capable of patrols and training, but none of that government stuff. I mean, look at her stats. She’s your stereotypical meathead. In any case, we’ve got to enrich the country and strengthen the army. The political part I’ll leave to the NPCs.
Aaand that should do it. Good work, everyone. Kuroi’s running so coolly to the next training area. Past the pastures, take a peek into the barn, through the residential area, and into the administrative district. Man, things have gotten so lively. The monster attacks are like a phantom of the past. People and products are flooding in; buildings and businesses are cropping up everywhere. No wonder the garrison is dancing salsa. Whoops, my brain’s still in music mode.
Look, that billboard’s for the adventurer’s guild. They sure set up that outpost quickly. And right next to it is the sorcerer’s guild outpost, perfectly positioned. Very convenient. Lots of other places are still under construction; this place is quickly becoming the Frontier Capital.
Everyone on the street has such good manners, they all greet Kuroi. Most nod, but some even get on their knees and start praying. Just walk past them regally, total Apostle move.
The Devil God’s power is rising nicely, too. The bonus effects are starting to stack up. It’s really exciting. At a base level, the humans have gotten more resistant to disease. They have a bonus to biological resistances. I’d assume their lifespan has extended as well. They also received a bonus to maximum stamina. Horses are now considered familiars, too. Nice.
Kuroi’s summon magic, the most important thing combat-wise, is still far away, though.
I can at least add another servant. I’m currently searching for one, but it’s not a huge priority. I was sure if it came down to it we could just create more Apostles... but that’s not looking possible.
Perhaps the key to Apostles for each race is their elements. I’d never considered this before, but if it’s true then a lot of things would make more sense. Well, it just confirms that humans get the short end of the stick, as usual.
The elven elements are wind and water. They get two. Sakiel, the Ten Thousand Bells, is a wind mage. The slender Deep Sea is, of course, a water mage. And the lead Apostle, Absolute, is a terrifying master of both elements. That old man scares me.
The vampire elements are lightning and earth. They get two as well. The sexy Thunderstorm is a lightning mage, the stony-faced Crumbling Mountain is an earth mage, and the Apostle Golden was a master of both.
It’s sort of like blood types, you know? There’s A type, B type, and AB type. When you think of it that way, the fact that humans only get the one element of fire... C’mon, development team...
But there’s no point in begging for things that don’t exist. We just have to win with what we’ve got. What we lack, we’ll make up for in creativity, dedication, passion, time, and hard work... No big deal, right?
Which is why I’m at the fire bomb station—hey, sorcerer, why are you running away? Not on my watch! See? Gotcha. Okay, Sira, tie this guy up. Fire mages, gather ’round! Ready your oil jars.
Today’s training course is, once again, “Love Dance.” One of the devs must really be into dancing. Just upload videos of yourself already.
Feeling the rhythm I click-click, click-click. More Indian-like! Don’t forget to wink! Phew, perfect... I’ll be back in the evening.
Oh? You want to come with me, Sira? Okay, we can patrol together. Let’s head to the north gate. Gotta make sure the elves are behaving themselves. They are still our enemies, after all. We’re only allies for a short while.
Wow, this place has certainly gotten wild. This isn’t just a bit of gardening; they’ve made a lake. Moreover, everything that could possibly be considered a roof is being treated like their living room. And yet something’s off. A strange vibe is going around. It’s like everyone’s nervous. There are hardly any elves or silver leopards, and the skyhawks are circling the sky to the north. Wait, are they preparing for war? Huh, seems like that’s it. They have elves flying out on scouting missions. There’s still plenty of daylight, so there shouldn’t be any threat of a vampire attack... Hm? Are those monsters? They’re shuffling... no, hopping out of a corner of the forest. Rabbits. Dark, monstrous rabbits with horns like blades.
Militant rabbits. And in the thousands.
Could this be...?
Kuroi, use Call on your war horse. Sira should be able to ride with you. Okay, now hurry. If we can make contact before the elves, we should be able to find out for sure!
Ah, I knew it. They’re not attacking at all. In fact, they’re raising their heads, laying their swordhorns on the ground... they’re paying respect to us. Humbly, they intend to serve us.
It’s a request to become familiars. They want to serve the Devil God. This is just like with the horses. The situation’s a little too desperate to consider not taking them. There, the mark of a familiar has been placed under their stats. That means the Devil God’s blessing is upon them. With it, these militant rabbits are pretty strong. Their strength stat is low, but their speed and skill stats are nice. They could make for a different type of front line unit, distinct from the silver leopards and black wolves.
I need a volunteer. You there, the panda-patterned one. I’m going to give you a very special duty. Click. There. You are now officially Sira’s personal familiar. You need a name. Hmm... Considering your coloring and role, let’s go with Shirokuro. That’s black and white in Japanese. You’ll be Sira’s helper. Yeah, good. I like it. This is another result of the massive rise in Devil God faith levels.
So, uhm... You can stop being on-guard now. Hello, elves? Well, it’s the correct decision. Our new familiars are very dangerous to elves. They’re faster than black wolves and most definitely your worst nightmares.
Still, the unease and nervousness they’re emitting is so real it’s making my heart race. DDR’s A.I. is seriously next-level. It’d be a pro in chess.
Okay, make way already. We’re taking these rabbits to the farms. You already have your silver leopards, skyhawks, lizards, and frogs. If you have power, you should consider it only natural that your opponent might also have the same power. That’s called equality. Otherwise, you’re just looking down on us. What, you think you’re the only special ones? That’s not the case, at least try to remember this. Not that there’s any point in talking to an A.I.