“My feelings weren’t as strong as yours, Hana,” I responded. It was the truth. “I regretted that you stopped seeing Tomoi altogether so much that I wanted to die. I kept going back to him, begging him not to give up on you. What do you think he said each time?”
It didn’t take long before my cheeks were wet too. The burning hot lump lodged in my throat caused my voice to quiver.
Two girls were sobbing on top of a freezing cold rooftop under the dancing snowflakes, talking about the fate of their first loves in their past lives. Putting the situation into perspective like that made the whole thing so ridiculous.
“‘I could never give up on her,’ he told me.”
Kon broke down. “Tomo…Tomo,” she whispered over and over again. I tried my hardest to help her stand up as she sank onto her knees in the snow crying out the name of her love who no longer existed.
“Shh, it’s okay. My current sister is in love with her boyfriend Shinji. I’m sure if this Tomoi realizes that you’re his Hana, he’ll fall in love with you, Kon. Come on, why don’t you give up on Tobi? That man gives me the creeps. He’s no good for you,” I desperately strung my words together in a bid to bandage her broken heart.
Kon finally let me help her to her feet and wiped the tears off her face in one quick motion. “Mr. Matsuda won’t fall in love with Kon Genda,” she said decisively, a small smile on her lips.
“You don’t know that for sure!” I protested.
How can she say that like it’s a fact? This world might be scripted for Tomoi to fall in love with this Hanaka, but Kon is also my big sister Hanaka!
“I do know for sure. Because he—” Kon stopped midsentence and glowered at the empty space behind me with a hard face.
Is there someone behind me? I instinctively turned to look, when Kon tightly grabbed hold of my shoulder and forced me forward.
“Listen to me, Rika. Please find happiness. That’s the only thing I want in the whole world. I’ll definitely make it in time this time. So please, believe in me.”
What in the world is she talking about…?
“Today is the last time we will ever speak about our past lives,” she continued when I stared dumbfounded at her. “Don’t bring it up ever again. I am Kon Genda now. Not Hanaka Takeshita. …Promise me, Rika. This is important.”
Nodding was the only option left for me faced with Kon’s intensity. She probably wouldn’t explain anything to me even if I pressed her. Her stunningly beautiful eyes were frighteningly serious.
“Cherish the family you have now. Your parents and Hanaka are the ones who have loved and cared for you ever since you were born.”
I put my hands on my hips. “Of course I will. My past has nothing to do with my love for my current family.”
The tears threatened to burst forth again if I didn’t joke around at this point. Reuniting with Hana should’ve been a happy occasion, but I couldn’t shake the sense that things beyond my power were circling around her, ever closing in.
Kon placed her hand to her chest as if relieved by the joking. “Glad to hear it. I’m really, truly happy to know that you’re happy.”
I feel the same way. I’m always praying for your happiness, Hana—Kon.
But Kon was hiding something that wouldn’t let me be openly happy for her.
“It’s getting cold out. Shall we head back in?”
I softly took hold of the hand she held out to me. Circumstances had shifted since we first came to the rooftop—it was my hand that was trembling this time. There were so many things I didn’t understand, it made it impossible to see what was ahead.
Darkness fell on our surroundings without me noticing. We decided to save our teatime for another day, and I had her take me home.
“Thank you for today. See you next time, Kon.”
“See you later, Mashiro.”
I stepped under the umbrella Mr. Nonaga held out for me. Obeying the surging impulse, I turned back to Kon in the car. “We’ll continue to be together from now on, right?”
An unsettling uneasiness took root within me over the way Kon was acting overly cheerful as if she’d gotten over everything. Her gaze lingered on my face, and she flashed a killer smile.
“Of course we will. We’ll be together forever.”
Even now, I wonder how she felt as she said that to me. The answer continues to elude me no matter how many times I reflect on it.
The only thing I could say for sure was that our paths were forked from the beginning. It was a terrible, horrible fact, but the outcome was set in stone since the day I’d fallen into that open manhole.
But not once have I ever wished I hadn’t met Kon.
I wouldn’t give up those joyous, dazzling days together for any treasure in the whole universe.