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NOT sure where I should start from, I stayed quiet the whole way to the parking lot where Mr. Mizusawa and Kon were waiting for us. Kou didn’t ask anything else after that; he merely walked quietly at my side.
The tension finally left my shoulders when we met up with Kon who looked like an actress with her traditional dress and knee-length fur coat.
“What’s wrong, you guys? Did something happen?” Kon asked right away. The two of us must have looked horrible.
“Director Yamabuki had Mashiro cornered when I went to get her.”
Kou’s explanation was simple, but Kon immediately grasped the situation. She pressed her lips in a tight line and looked to me. “Will you please tell me exactly what happened?”
Mr. Mizusawa had already handled phoning my parents. I confided in the twins in hushed whispers about my little exchange with Prince Tobi on the car ride to Miss Sakurako’s favorite traditional Japanese restaurant. When I brought up the piano competition Kon only nodded and said, “I see,” but the news completely took Kou by surprise.
“That’s the first I’ve heard about a large music competition being held next fall. Has that information even been made public yet?” he asked, looking from me to Kon.
“We only recently heard about it from Miss Ayumi too,” Kon quickly added.
“You did? …So? What happens to you if you don’t win?”
Kou didn’t know our full story, so it’s not like I could tell him the truth and say I’d reach the bad end that’d block me from attending Seio Academy. I didn’t go into the specifics about Tobi either.
“I don’t know. He only told me to prove to him that I can win. I don’t think I’m going to lose anything either way.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that. I’d say there’s little chance that Director Yamabuki would say something like that if there wasn’t anything in it for him.” There seemed to be a sharp bite to every word Kou uttered. I didn’t know what I’d done to irritate him, but he was clearly peeved.
“I’m sorry…”
“For what?”
“For getting you involved in my problems on the day of your concert.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to say here!” Kou shouted.
This was the first time he’d ever raised his voice with me in all the years I’d known him. Kon pulled me into her arms as if to protect me when I flinched away from him.
“Kou, stop it. Don’t take out your frustration on Mashiro.”
“Sorry. I just wish you’d listen to me and be more aware of your surroundings. Our world is filled with indecent people who wish others harm for their own selfish reasons. The world isn’t friendly. It’s too late if you realize that fact after you get hurt,” he warned in a tormented voice. My heart ached for him.
I knew very well how much he was still tormented by the agonizing memory of nearly losing his precious sister. I impulsively reached out for Kou after he made his ardent appeal. He took my hand in his and tangled his fingers through mine.
“I’m sorry for worrying you. I just lost my cool. I promise I’ll be more careful next time.”
How deeply was he scarred with the regret that his existence put his beloved little sister in mortal danger? A bystander like myself couldn’t even begin to measure the emotional damage it had caused him. Wounds inflicted during childhood were some of the hardest to heal. It didn’t matter how much people tried to comfort him by saying it wasn’t his fault. He still didn’t forgive himself. He was haunted by the thought, “If only I never existed.”
The inability to forgive and accept oneself and move on was one trait that Kou and Sou shared.
Wanting to set his mind at ease, I squeezed his hand and received a heartrending smile in return. “…Okay. Please keep on smiling like the world is full of sunflowers and rainbows.”
Is that how he thinks I see the world?! Is it just my warped view of him, or does he always ruin these moments with an unnecessary word or two?!