by Jun Eishima
I move through the dim factory, keeping my footsteps as quiet as possible. Well, they aren’t footsteps. Right now I am nothing but a head. The other day I was trying to get home when I fell off a ledge and destroyed my body.
My head is harder than a rock but my body breaks really easily. It would be nice if I could make a body that was as strong as my head, but that’s probably impossible.
Besides, a body has to be not only strong but practical. I’ve made a “self-defense force armored vehicle” before, but for its size it didn’t carry much luggage.
I’ve tried using a “pickup truck” that specialized in mobility, but it broke down in a day. If it broke from falling off a cliff, it wouldn’t hold up when I do business in the city ruins.
Oh, I run a shop. A portable shop. I started it because … um … I’m pretty sure there was a good reason. I forgot, it was a long time ago.
Anyway, I really need to remake my body, so I infiltrated this factory. I can get a lot of materials here.
I’m thinking of using a three-wheeled body instead of a four-wheeled one this time. I fortunately found some remains of a three-wheeled truck. The body was rusted and the tires were flat, but with some magic it’ll be no problem!
According to some ancient documents this truck was a best seller in areas with muddy or bumpy roads. There’s some video data, so I’ll be able to perfectly re-create it!
Now, on to the materials. First, natural rubber. I need to do something about those tires.
But this area is full of dangerous Machines. It used to be called “Robot Mountain,” so maybe they feel comfortable here. I need to make sure I don’t run into them.
Hm? I can smell some natural rubber! Is it this way? Yep, it is. This is the smell of high-quality material!
Excited, I move toward the direction of the smell.
“Wowowow!”
I suddenly have steam billowing over me, and I can’t see anything.
“Hm? I’m moving?”
I feel my head being carried away. Is this what they call a conveyor belt?
“Woah! What’s this?!”
There’s a line of robot parts. They’re being carried away somewhere in one straight line.
“I need to run … wait, what?!”
An arm extends from above and grabs my head. Two half-spheres approach me from the sides.
“Stop!”
Clop it goes as I am enveloped in darkness.
“No! Let me out!”
No matter how much I yell or struggle, I am trapped in darkness. And exhausted from screaming so much, I fall unconscious …
“Huh? Where’s this?”
It is suddenly bright, and standing in front of me are a woman and boy I’ve never seen. “What is this …” they say, as they tilt their heads. But my head is tilted too!
“Ummm. Who are you?”
I know they are androids, but …
“It looks suspicious. Let’s destroy it, 2B.”
What?!
“Wow no! Wait!”
I’m not suspicious! If anything you two are the suspicious ones! You’re wearing all black! And wearing black blindfolds!
“I’m going to destroy it.”
“Ahh! Stop!”
I escape at my top speed. I think I bumped into something, or broke something, but I didn’t have time to check.
… Did I lose them?
I slow down and look back. Then feel something weird.
“Boing?” Was that the word for it?
It seems I bumped into something and was bounced back.
“Hm? Feels furry?”
I felt warm wind from above …
“Uh, um …”
Looking up, I see two tusks. What I thought was wind was the breath … of a boar. Which meant I bumped into the side of a boar. I slowed down right before, so it wasn’t a life-threatening impact, but it must’ve hurt him to be hit by my rock-hard head.
Which means that … you must be really mad right?
“I’m so sorry!”
Oh no! It’s running after me! I hate boars! I’m always being chased by them! When they hit me it hurts!
“Don’t come near meeee!”
It’s hard to run away right now! There’s tons of leaves in my face! I hear branches snapping right beneath me! But the boar is still coming after me!
Ah!! I’m going to hit it I’m going to hit it! I’m going to crash into that big tree!
I just managed to swerve out of the way. I must’ve lost the boar … wait, it’s still coming after me! It seems like this boar has drifting capabilities. There’s always a few of them. The high-functioning boars.
Why am I thinking of something like this—hm? Where’s the ground?
“Aaaah!”
It seems I rolled off a hill. It hurts. It feels like I’m dying. It feels like I’m getting beaten with sticks. Well, I’m actually just bouncing off boulders here and there.
I wonder how long I rolled about. Before I knew it I was at the bottom of a dim valley, feeling dizzy.
Sigh. That was terrible. Well, at least I lost the boar.
“Hm? I smell some iron here?”
Iron ore is an essential material to make a body as strong as my head!
After being chased by a boar, I thought I was unlucky to roll all the way down into a valley. But I think I’ll be able to turn misfortune into fortune. Let’s go pick some iron ore!
Yes, yes it’s here! There’s some high-quality iron ore! I can take as much as I want! This is fun!
“Heave-ho! Pick this up pick this up and pick this up! Pick that up and pick this up! Phew!”
As I am singing playfully like so, I suddenly hear the sound of grinding metal behind me. As if some Machine is walking around …
“It wasn’t my imagination!”
There’s Machines! And lots of them! I thought I’d turned misfortune into fortune, but I was unlucky after all …
I use magic to absorb iron ore as I roll around, and manage to narrowly escape the valley. I go home and visit the factory ruins again to get natural rubber. I finally have all the materials.
Time to go to work. First I use the natural rubber to re-create the tires. Three spanking-new tires. Reliable tires that can travel over rubble without a problem!
Next I have to clean the rusty truck. I line up all the iron ore I collected and …
“Emil Beaaaaaaaaam!”
The iron ore is turning into a puddle. According to the data, the ideal temperature for manufacturing iron is 2,000 degrees Celsius. This way, you can separate the impurities and pig iron. Of course, I won’t throw away the impurities. They can be divided and cooled for later use. I’ll need them for something … probably.
Okay! Now this part is a race against time. Strike while the iron is hot! That’s what some ancient texts said.
“Yeahhhh!”
It’s done! I coated the truck in iron, and now it looks brand-new!
Now we just have to attach the tires, and we’re done.
Then I screw my head on the body so it won’t roll off. There’s better ventilation when I use screws instead of gluing myself on.
I make sure to display my products on the truck bed instead of just throwing them on. This advice was in the texts too. “Pay attention to the layout of your booth to increase sales!” it said. Another tip was to “Make sure customers can see it from far away!”
So I decorate the truck bed, and put up a shop flag, and add a loudspeaker. I hope I get a lot of customers …
Oh right, this time I did a full model change, so I have to record my thoughts on its durability and usability.
So starting tomorrow, Emil’s shop will be open!