“What are you two doing?”
Rose’s exasperated question brought Dahlia and No. 16 back to their feet. They had been on their stomachs, hands clasped, seeing who was stronger. It was called “arm wrestling” back in the human civilization days, and was a particularly popular activity because it didn’t need any extra equipment or much space. But neither No. 16 nor No. 21 knew about this activity—most likely because they were newer models, and information exchange between their comrades had been sparse.
Anemone and her group had known about “arm wrestling” because one of their comrades had been programmed with simulated memories. The more time they spent together, the more stories they heard. Even if those stories were simulated.
“Dahlia, if you’ve got time to play around …”
Dahlia replied, breathless. “I. Just finished. Showing. How strong. I am. To this fool.”
No. 16 retorted, also breathing heavily. “What … are you saying? It’s. Your. Utter. Loss!”
“What?”
“Hmm? Come. at me!”
“That’s enough!” Rose scolded.
“If you have time to play around, go gather some water!”
That’s right, Anemone agreed silently. They were being so irritating. Since the number of meatheads had doubled, the number of distractions had also doubled.
“Then I’ll be the one to go gather it. Since I’m faster!”
“What?! I’m definitely faster!”
“It’s a race!”
“Don’t be a sore loser!”
Dahlia and No. 16 dashed off.
“You two! Don’t forget the water tank!”
“Gosh! They’re so irresponsible.”
Margaret chased after them with the tank. It was finally quiet. Anemone sighed. They were getting along pretty well.
It had been nearly an hour since Rose announced their allegiance. They had just finished giving the newer models a tour of the camp. It was too early to let their guard down.
“We’re going to exchange information. No. 2, No. 4, Sonia, come with me.”
After Rose took the three of them away, Anemone, Shion, Lily, and No. 21 were left alone. While Anemone was grateful that the noisy ones were away, now it was too quiet and a bit awkward.
Anemone wasn’t good at small talk to begin with. She couldn’t find any meaning in exchanging irrelevant words. That’s why she felt relieved when Lily started talking to No. 21.
“You don’t have to wear your blindfold?”
“I take it off during non-battle situations, since it’s irrational. And it’s a set of goggles, not a blindfold.”
“Is that right?”
“Isn’t it hard to move when your vision is obstructed?”
No. 21 turned nonchalantly toward Lily. Lily took a step back.
“What’s the matter?” No. 21 asked with a puzzled expression. Anemone couldn’t blame her. She didn’t know how wary Lily was.
“Well … the YoRHa are a bit scary.”
At this point, Anemone thought that wariness was necessary. Being a little scared was perfect. Not like the meatheads that started to get along in no time at all.
“You’re scared”
“It was just us for a long time, you know? We’re like family. For other androids to show up is …”
Lily hid behind Shion.
“Sorry, Lily gets scared pretty easily,” Shine replied, in lieu of Lily, who had her lips shut tightly. “She always has nightmares at night too.”
Shion chuckled, as she glanced back at Lily. “I can’t help it,” Lily said, pouting.
“I see a lot of nightmares at night. Sometimes I feel like I’ll die in the nightmare.”
“You can’t be killed in a dream,” pointed out No. 21.
“You’re quite irrational.”
“You don’t know that! Ghosts might appear too!”
“Ghosts don’t exist either. You’re just trying to run away from your real fears. Most likely your fear of Machines.”
Listening halfheartedly to the trio’s conversation, Anemone determined No. 21 to be a brainy type. Now that she thought about it, No. 2 had called No. 21 “Scanner No. 21.” Maybe her explanations were so long-winded because she specialized in intelligence gathering and research.
“I’m scared of both. Ghosts scare me, and so do Machines. I’m so scared that sometimes … I think I’m human.”
“Human?”
This was the first time Anemone had heard this. She knew Lily was cowardly, but she hadn’t known that Lily suspected herself to be human.
“I see dreams, and have emotions. Why am I not human?”
“Because you’re not a living being. Our bodies are artificial.”
“But if we break, we die, you know? I’m scared of dying. I’m scared …”
Lily trembled. Even though Shion attempted to comfort her by telling her it was okay, Lily kept repeating that she was scared.
Anemone, as well as all her comrades, feared their destruction. It was an emotion hard-coded into their programming to promote higher chances of survival.
But for Lily, that fear was stronger than that of the other androids. Whether or not creating a model capable of experiencing extreme fear was the result of intention or error was unknown.
“No. 21,” said Shion, suddenly. “You all are new models, right?”
“Yes. This is the first time our models are being deployed on the field.”
“If you’re newer models, I wonder if you have greater tolerance for fear.”
“I’m not sure. It’s not like we can measure that.”
Just like humans, androids were capable of hiding or faking their feelings, so measurement was out of the question. Anemone was about to sarcastically say that measuring wasn’t the same thing as understanding, when …
“Show yourself!”
She had felt a presence, and drew her gun.
“Don’t shoot me!”
No. 4 appeared, with her hands above her head. Anemone clicked her tongue and put her gun down.
“Eavesdropping? Serves you right.”
“No. I left everything to No. 2 and came back.”
“Then don’t do anything misleading like sneaking in.”
No. 2 and No. 4 were both apparently attackers, but their personalities were completely different. Anemone didn’t like either of them. She couldn’t like them.
“Jeez, Anemone. There’s no enemies, so no need to be so uptight.”
“Shion. We had tons of comrades who died just like that. Don’t you remember?”
They had been too careless. Not just Shion, but Rose, Dahlia, and the other members of their troop.
“Are you also afraid of dying?” No. 21 asked, her head tilted to one side. As if she couldn’t imagine Anemone being scared of death. That irritated Anemone, and she flung the question back at her.
“Aren’t you scared?”
That was probably petty of her.
“I am scared. Death means you’re nothing. Your body, consciousness, they both disappear from the world. That is something that’s very frightening.”
“I am too.”
That said, Anemone had an inkling that No. 21’s fear and her own fear were slightly different. No. 21’s fear seemed more irrational, and her own was more instinctive and emotional.
Well, either way, the important thing was to fear destruction. That inspired caution. It discouraged actions with avoidable risk. For example, trusting an unknown group that identified themselves as newer model androids.
It was best to keep their distance from the four of them. Anemone was going to walk away, but No. 21 turned around first.
“Where are you going?” Lily asked her as she was leaving.
“I’m going to check up on the surroundings. Just scanning is not the same as actually seeing for myself.”
Lily, who had been hiding behind Shion this whole time, trotted off to catch up with No. 21. Anemone’s eyes were wide with surprise. What Lily said next really shocked her.
“Can I come with you?”
“If you’re not scared of me.”
“Okay. I think I’m getting used to you.”
Anemone looked over at Shion, who was still and had her mouth agape. Recently, Shion spent more time with Lily than Anemone. Her surprise must’ve been greater than Anemone’s.
“Wait! I’m coming too!”
Shion scrambled after the two.
“Then me too!”
No. 4 stopped, and looked back at Anemone.
“You aren’t coming?”
Without answering, Anemone stood up and turned her back toward No. 4.
“Okay, then I’m gonna go.”
From her tone of voice, it didn’t seem like No. 4 took it sourly. Anemone heard a “See you later” from behind her. She kicked at some dirt. It felt like she was being really childish by herself.