“You little shit…what the hell were you playing at?!”
Back in my room, I shook the long-blond-haired girl (persona that the prince had taken) and interrogated him, my voice filled with unfettered rage.
“W-well, it’s like this, Miss Mylene—”
I snapped at Albert’s confused stammer, “Does the Eltanian monarchy teach their princes to wear stupid-ass wigs on their heads when they’ve got something important to say?”
Albert slumped, making himself very small as he removed the wig. Before my eyes, he became a boy with short blond hair wearing a female school uniform. He still looked every bit like a girl.
I had a number of colorful things I wanted to say to him, but I just heaved a sigh instead.
Who, I ask—who would have thought that the prince of a kingdom would cross-dress and sneak into a girls’ dormitory?
…I’d be lying if I said I was entirely comfortable with the idea of wearing girls’ clothing myself, but I never thought the guy who was gonna lead an entire kingdom someday would do it.
“Shit, are you for real right now? I mean…what made you think this was okay…?”
I’d almost rather he had sneaked into my room and tried to have his way with me in my sleep. I could’ve just kicked him out of my window and gotten it over with. Now, I wasn’t gonna deny the guy his fetishes, but I just wish he’d take his position into consideration before acting on them.
“N-now, now… Let’s not yell, Mylene. It’s harder to talk to Prince Albert that way. Why don’t we go easy on him, at least while we talk this through?”
It had gotten so out of hand that even Colette was taking Albert’s side. She had probably come to his defense more out of secondhand embarrassment than kindness, but I hadn’t realized just how angry I was until she pointed it out.
Turning the screws on somebody when you wanted them to talk was amateur stuff. I’d never get a proper explanation out of him like this—if anything, he’d lie to protect himself.
My emotions reversed. I felt my wave of rage leave my body as I waited patiently for Albert to speak.
“S-so…well…let me explain…”
As I watched him squirm, the rage started to burn inside me again, but I willed myself to stay calm so I wouldn’t lose my sense of judgment.
Finally, after I gave him ample time, Albert spoke. “I was just w-worried about you! I was scared that Princess Colette would keep taking you farther and farther away from me!”
“Huhh?”
Apparently, Albert had done all that because he was scared of losing me. Now it was my turn to be shocked. Was that any excuse to dress as a girl and infiltrate the girls’ dorm? I guess whenever we’re faced with something we can’t understand, our brains stall.
He’s a dumbass. I already knew he was stupid, but I had no idea he was the supreme lord of dumbassery.
“Ohh…so you’re saying you want to fight me for her. You’ve got guts, I admire that.”
But what really hurt my brain was the knowledge that he wasn’t the only dumbass of his kind.
Colette was the type who got what she wanted by any means necessary. She was also a hedonist—as long as she was having fun, she was up for anything. Her satisfied eyes were practically saying, Finally, a worthy opponent.
Driven to a mad fervor by his archnemesis’s words, Albert shuddered.
“I just…I just can’t let this one go.” He looked up, his eyes filled with determination.
When I saw the manly look in his determined eyes, I blurted out, “Come again?”
“There’s a reason I can’t back off…! Play all the cards you have—you taught me that lesson yourself, Miss Mylene!”
Sorry I asked.
“Mmm-hmm!” Colette hummed at the defiant Albert in ecstasy. “So this is what mad desperation looks like! I know this sounds weird coming from me, but is everything okay?!”
However, I didn’t think it was funny. I asked her politely, with an edge in my voice, “To what are you referring, Princess—Eltania’s future or our young prince’s brain?”
“Both!” Colette answered with vigor.
I wrinkled my brow, then cursed under my breath, “Couldn’t agree more…”
It’d been a while since my brain hurt like this. Though in a way, you could say Albert was just being loyal to my teachings. Out of everyone in the academy, Albert was the only male student who could play the cross-dressing card flawlessly. Case in point—he was able to infiltrate my room like this without drawing any suspicion from anybody.
But this was just beyond dumbassery.
“Be that as it may! I admire your spirit! I respect the way you’ll do whatever it takes to keep your enemy from getting what’s rightfully yours!”
That didn’t just apply to Albert. Colette was equally guilty.
“Argh…” I clutched my head and let out a big sigh.
Honestly, I was tired. I was so tired. But it looked like I’d have to suck it up and beat some grit into the guy. I wanted to do something about Colette, too, but this problem took precedence.
So for now—
“A word of advice, Albert.”
“Y-yes?!”
I stared daggers into his eyes and grabbed his head. “Tomorrow, I’m gonna fuck you up so bad, you’re gonna wish I’d killed you right now.”
“Awww?!?! But aren’t you going to praise me for acting tough?!”
—I had to deal with Albert first.
I guess the pip-squeak was finally starting to grow a spine. But we’d be screwed if I didn’t instill the very basic sense of ethics in him.
I mean, if you were leading a nation, playing every card you had in your hand was a highly commendable stance to take. But you had to back it up with a sense of dignity so powerful that nobody else could fuck with you—like that witch of an imperial princess who’d sacked Eltania with a perfectly timed surprise attack.
Then again, I guess it would be cruel to want him to take it that far…
Having said that, Albert did have his virtues, of course. If only he hadn’t been duped by that evil bitch in the other timeline, he would have been a popular king, beloved by his subjects.
But in this timeline, he needed to be more than that. And that’s why I had to toughen him up. At the very least, I needed to make sure my hometown was safe.
“B-but if it means you’ll give me special attention, Miss Mylene, I’ll gladly take any punishment you give me…”
Um, now you just sound like a masochist.
I was fine with people enjoying cross-dressing as a hobby, but using it to sneak into the girls’ dorm was wrong. Especially since he was royalty—he needed to consider his social status.
“Well…have fun tomorrow, I guess.”
“I will!”
But first, I really needed him to learn how to recognize sarcasm.
I don’t think he’s stupid, but whenever I’m around, this guy loses all his brainpower.
They say love is blind…but pondering over the whole thing was starting to feel like a fool’s errand. I don’t think what this guy felt was love, exactly.
“Shit… Well, whatever. If a hall monitor sees you, you’re toast. Put on your wig and piss off.”
“As you wish, my lady! See you tomorrow!”
With his wig back on, Albert looked just like a girl again. A closer look revealed a hint of makeup; I hadn’t noticed that until he was at the door.
Giving a deep bow, he exited without hesitation. And so the boy who looked just like a girl left the girls’ dorm just as boldly as he had infiltrated it. To be honest…I was a little curious as to where he had made his transformation. For that matter, where had he even procured the girl’s uniform?
In this life, some mysteries were best left unresolved. So I decided to drop it.
A few silent moments after the door closed, Colette looked at me. “Hummm.”
“What?”
“Oh, I was just thinking that was an awfully kind gesture for you. If you ask me, giving Albert special attention could only be a reward, not a punishment—”
It was an innocent observation, but there was an unconvinced look in her eye and a scoffing snort in her nose. It seemed like there was more to her complaint than You let him off too easy for sneaking into the girls’ dorm.
It looked more like she was envious of Albert for getting pleasure out of his punishment.
As Colette pouted, I smirked and retaliated. “Are you jealous, Princess?”
Her face twitched at the sudden change in my tone and smile. “Er…um…sorry, I was naive.”
As long as you get it. With a triumphant snort, I started to get ready for bed. C’mon, just let it be lights-out already. I wanna get ready for bed before a hall monitor comes. Shit, why does everyone in my life have to get such stupid ideas in their heads? Now that’s two nights of missed sleep for me.
“I’m turning in, okay? Get dressed for bed and turn out the light.”
“Understood. Good night, Mylene.”
I pulled the covers over me as Colette’s voice hit my back. And as I lay there, my lips twitched. This sort of thing never happened in my mercenary days…