“Th-That day, when you were given the mission to kill the dragon, I should’ve used my position as commander to protect you! If only I had, you...” She trailed off, gripping Crow’s hand tightly, bringing his arm to her sizable assets and nuzzling the back of his hand with her cheek. Her tears would not stop coming. “Oh, you’re dying, and it’s all my fault!”
Fiana was troubled over why a young man, at the peak of his virility, had to die tonight—a question that had come too late.
Yeah, she was completely unaware of the current situation. Last thing she’d heard, Crow was going to die today. She’d visited him when her daughter Tiana had been entrusted to her care, and she’d never have dreamed that he’d later awaken to strange powers and survive.
“Oh, Sir Crow, my poor Sir Crow! Please, resent me! I’m but a stupid, incompetent woman, mature in body only! Curse my name!” End-of-her-rope Widow Number Two pleaded, clinging dramatically to the young man.
It had taken Iris only a minute to cling to Crow after entering his room, but Fiana had topped that with an astounding new record of twenty-eight seconds. Truly the winner of the first division of the degeneracy championship.
“Oh! The scar where your arm was torn pains me so! Your breathing is...well, it’s rather quiet, actually, but that must mean you lack the vitality to even wheeze! Oh, my heart!” she lamented, having no idea whatsoever that Crow was already well.
The fact he’d dispelled his left arm to conserve aether didn’t help either.
If only she’d walked in through the front door of the estate, she could’ve learned about Crow’s condition from Eldia or Iris.
“Heh... Heh heh heh heh... Ah, Sir Crow, I must apologize for using my Hades to sneak through the shadows to get to you.” In the darkness, the gem on her chest, dark as night, glowed faintly.
It was called Hades, the Concealer. The gem had been crafted from part of the helmet of the lord of the underworld, and allowed its bearer to become one with the darkness. With this in hand, sneaking into the dimly lit estate had been trivial.
Why had she done that, you ask?
“Sir Crow, I will take responsibility for my mistake!”
Reaching for her top, Fiana yanked it off with no hesitation whatsoever.
She moved to straddle the young man, barely half her age, and exposed her ample curves to the darkness.
“I cannot let your life end without a legacy. And so, even knowing nobody can ever find out about this... Oh, Sir Crow!”
Determined, Fiana vigorously stole a kiss from Crow.
Their lips met, their hot breaths mixing with the air over the bed. The young man’s bedroom turned into a love nest as the two intertwined.
“Mmm... ♡”
Fiana firmly clinched the fastest time from being alone with Crow to kissing him!
The only other one who had gotten this far had been her daughter, Tiana, but it had taken her hours to kiss him after she’d found herself alone with him in a bedroom.
Unlike her daughter, who had taken the time to do slow and tedious things such as eat dinner, this woman had reached his lips in a minute!
She was now the winner of the second division of the degeneracy championship as well. It was the birth of a garbage (times two) woman.
And she’d managed to pull off a criminal-mastermind-level (like, actually a crime) move worth a gajillion technical points by successfully breaking into the empress dowager’s estate and sneaking into a man’s bedroom in the middle of the night. Truly the play of the game.
Sadly, there was no audience to cheer her on, besides the future children thunderously applauding from her ovaries. Could she please just reach menopause already? Thanks.
“Now, Sir Crow, please—leave me a legacy! It’ll be proof that you once lived! Allow me to take on this responsibility!”
And thus did their two silhouettes intertwine.
Fiana (a thirty-six-year-old mother) went all out with Crow (who was underage, by the way), committing an act a certain female knight had managed to refrain from.
With astounding speed too, despite her daughter Tiana having taken hours to build up to a kiss.
Triumphantly, Fiana clinched the win for the third division of the degeneracy championship. The garbage (times three) queen of debauchery took her crown.
She picked up the pace.
“Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow! Forgive me, Sir Crow!!!”
With every apology, the shadow cast on the wall doubled in speed.
And then, as she tossed aside the ring from her marriage to her late husband (political, by the way, and he’d been a womanizer, often spending time with his mistresses instead of loving Fiana), her output surged even further beyond.
With a loud crack, the bed collapsed at last.
“Sir Crooooow!” she cried out.
His aethereal arms, which had been secretly observing the act from the corner of the room, shuddered at this display of vitality, this spark of life, and exclaimed, “WOW. SO THIS IS THE POWER OF MANKIND.” And the arms, which had viewed humans as little more than food, considered reaching a mutual understanding with humanity.
“Sir Crow! Sir Crow! Please forgive me, Sir Croooooow!”
“Zzzzzzz?!” Gah! Why does it feel like my energy’s being sucked right out of me?!
The queen’s roar echoed in the darkness, along with the shriek of her prey as he was devoured.
Fiana felt deeply contrite toward said prey (Crow, that is).
Even as she committed a full course of criminal activities, from breaking into a royal estate to violating her daughter’s teenaged friend, her heart remained filled to the brim with devotion.
Surely her purity of spirit was the source of her strength.
She attacked Crow for the same reason as her daughter—the earnest wish to nurture the seed of a man on the brink of death. But Fiana, who despite her position as commander had sent the young man straight to his demise, felt it many times more strongly than Tiana.
And thus, as a widow at the end of her rope, Fiana was unstoppable.
Unlike Iris, she wasn’t crushed by guilt. No, she was deluding herself into thinking that she was doing the right thing.
“Sir Crooow!”
“ZZZZZZ?!” I’m witheriiiiiiiiiing!!!
Thus was the twice-crowned king of idiocy, oblivious to everything, completely devoured by the thrice-crowned queen of debauchery, even more oblivious to anything.
It was the hour of reckoning, in a way.
The next day, Fiana approached the empress.
“Good day, Your Majesty. Has Sir Crow passed on?” she asked.
“Oh! Crow? He woke up the other day with a mysterious power! He’s doing quite well, actually! Although he did seem quite drained this morning.”
“I beg your pardon?!” Fiana exclaimed in shock, clutching her belly, feeling it heavy in her palm.
“What is it, Fiana? Are you not happy about Crow’s recovery?” Eldia asked, puzzled.
“Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that’s not it at all, Your Majesty!” she said in a panic, vigorously waving one hand to dispel the misunderstanding and clutching her lower abdomen with the other.
What? He’s safe?! Then what do I do about this?
And thus did anguish dawn on the thrice-crowned queen.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Man, I want a rich, busty, gorgeous girlfriend!” Crow said. What a turd.
“I’m going to break into the royal estate, sneak into my daughter’s underage friend’s room, and...!” Fiana said. What a turd.
And everyone got what they wanted! Huzzah!!!