“He’s a hero!” Iris said.
“He’s a hero!” Eldia said.
“He’s too strong for us!” the enemies said.
“Wahhh!” Crow said. What a turd.
✦ ✦ ✦
After taking care of the evil-looking dudes, I stood there, in awe of the strange white-haired loli’s true identity.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, young man. My name is Eldia von Lemuria. I am the emperor’s mother.”
“Pardon?” I’m sorry, what?! She’s, like, a kid!
She had to be joking, right?
But when I looked at Iris and made a face like “Can you believe this shit?” she shook her head at me, looking quite serious.
Wait, it’s not a joke?!
“It’s hard to believe, I understand, but much to my shame, it is true,” the young girl said, holding out her left hand. She wore a ring with the royal family’s crest on her ring finger. “So as you can see, I am Eldia, wife to the late emperor.”
“Oh, I see...” Whaaaaaaaat?!
An actual royal! In the flesh! And, like, the most important of them all too!
Oh crap! Uh, how am I supposed to talk to royalty? Wait, did I disrespect her earlier?!
“Your Majesty, I was not aware of your identity. I apologize for my lack of manners.”
“Oh, no need for formalities. You can call me Eldia.”
“Uh, Empress Eldia—?”
“No, just Eldia. And there’s no need to mind your manners.”
What do you mean, I don’t need to mind my manners?! What’s with her?! Is this a trap?!
Disobeying her orders and minding my manners would’ve been treason.
Not minding my manners would’ve been disrespectful.
Damned if I did and damned if I didn’t!
I’d gotten revived, then some thugs had tried to kick my ass a moment later, and five minutes after that, I got caught in some weird catch-22!
“Now, now, my mentor, you’re putting Crow on the spot.” My angel, Iris, chided the empress.
She chided the empress!
Iris had also called her “mentor,” which meant she must’ve been Eldia’s disciple, right? What a beautiful pair!
“I’m sorry, Crow. See, my mentor here may be royalty, but she’s quite the tomboy. Try not to think ill of her.”
“No, I don’t mind, Iris. I can appreciate someone who prefers acting casually to formality.”
As I said this, Empress Eldia grinned widely. “Oh? Ohh?”
Wh-What?!
“My, young Crow, you don’t call her ‘Lady’ Iris?”
“Huh? Oh, yes, she asked me not to.” Which this person also did, come to think of it...
“Oh dear! Iris, your tactics are the same as mine! This can only mean one thing!”
What? Tactics? What tactics? What does that mean?
As I tilted my head in confusion, Empress Eldia smacked Iris on the side of her chest.
And instead of getting angry, Iris went beet red. “W-Well, I can’t deny that,” she mumbled.
I had no idea what they were going on about, but at least they seemed to have a good relationship!
“Oh, my apologies for ignoring you, young Crow. But if you can be so casual with Iris, why, you can be casual with me too, no?”
I attempted to protest. “B-But Your Majesty, you’re royalty! I couldn’t possibly—”
“Don’t worry, young man. My marriage to the previous emperor was half forced, and political in nature. I may have raised and breastfed two children, but I’m still a maiden at heart.”
What’s she going on about?!
“As proof of my sincerity, I give you this,” she said, removing the ring from her finger and offering it to me.
No thanks!
What the hell? Was this some kind of prank by the royal family? I was, like, the most commoner of all commoners. My mind couldn’t keep up!
“Now, my mentor, shall we speak of serious matters?” Iris cut in, clearing her throat and picking the empress up, then setting her aside like one might do to a pet cat.
“This is a serious matter!” Eldia protested.
“Shut up, loli granny!” Iris snapped. “Now, Crow, allow me to briefly explain our current situation,” she continued, her tone turning solemn.
She then told me about what had happened during my slumber.
First off, I’d been asleep for a week straight.
And I’d been on the verge of multiple organ failure, just like Muramasa had said.
On top of that, Tiana, who had protected me, was doing fine.
Though she had incurred severe injuries, she’d been treated with a powerful potion known as an “elixir,” which only the royal family had access to. Once her life-threatening wounds had fully healed, she’d been left in the care of her mother.
They’d used an elixir on me as well, apparently, but all that had done was keep me alive for a week.
Iris said all of my organs and bones had been damaged. My ass must’ve been kicked really hard!
“And lastly, about the black dragon you defeated, Nidhogg, Blight of the Heavens... Well, the plan is for you to receive a commendation from the emperor himself. But I’m sure you’ve already put two and two together, haven’t you?” Iris asked.
I nodded.
A newbie like me should never have been sent to face off against a dragon alone, of course.
After the dragon was dead, a group of mystery masked men had attacked me.
And then a bunch of thugs wielding aethereal arms had come after me.
It all came together into one grim picture.
“It’s Emperor Zilsonia who wants you dead.”
✦ ✦ ✦
“How dare that boy try to harm his future daddy?!”
—Eldia