“So, Crow, you’re a myth conqueror, just like our captain? I was shocked when Hypno told me!”
“So it would seem.” Not!
After this shocking(ly false) revelation, Iris and I were walking around the bustling streets of Salem.
The city was incredibly lively, with countless people browsing the rows and rows of shops. Who knew so many humans existed?
“Crow, you seem a bit pale. Are you not good with crowds?”
“It’s just so different from the rural town where I was born. This many people makes my head spin.” I’m too delicate for this, okay?
“Ha ha! This is one of the cardinal cities bordering the inner and outer zones. People come here to sightsee from both areas, so it gets even livelier than the capital.”
“Fascinating!” Huh, so it’s like a gathering spot between city and country folks. Neat! No wonder everyone seemed so excited. Maybe somewhere in the city, love was even blooming between people of different social statuses! Not that it’d ever happen to me. Tragic.
“The rich and powerful don’t usually visit, though. Since it’s a border city, aetherborn sometimes break in, and there’s always the possibility of a shady character hiding in the shadows,” she went on. “Besides, most nobles look down on people from the outer zone, so be careful when you go to the capital, okay?”
Iris leaned forward, pointing a finger straight at my nose. She’s so cute! Her chest’s jiggling. I love it.
“Understood,” I replied. “By the way, I’m surprised we can head to the capital so soon.”
“It is unusually quick, isn’t it? I didn’t expect us to get a travel permit on the heels of what happened yesterday.”
Yep. Turns out I was going to the capital tomorrow. So we’d gone shopping to prepare for the trip. After crossing the checkpoint in this city, it would still take several days to reach the capital, apparently. I had to buy some underwear and stuff.
Also, my butt was still sore from that sneaky goblin bite, so I wanted some quality medicine too.
“Do you know where the pharmacy is?” I asked.
“Ohh. Smart move, Crow! It may be just a few days’ trip, but you never know what might happen!”
Uh, I dunno about smart. My ass just hurts. But that sounded lame, so instead I went with a cool “We can’t afford to be careless,” and nodded.
Though if you looked up “careless” in the dictionary, you’d just see a picture of me.
Iris chuckled and replied, “You’re so dependable, just like Hypno. The two of you are strong and smart in equal measure. Compared to you, I’m...” She trailed off, her expression suddenly darkening.
What’s wrong?!
“Listen, Crow. Getting to the capital isn’t easy, you know? Commander Hypno worked very hard for this. It took not only negotiating with multiple people but also convincing them that you’re a myth conqueror to get you a next-day permit like that.” Iris muttered something under her breath about how she’d thought of the commander as rotten up until just the day before, but that in fact Hypno was quite the amazing person. She sounded somewhat sad, or perhaps conflicted.
“In comparison, I’m just a fool whose only talent is the sword. I’m bad with flattery, and powerful people absolutely hate me. Calling yourself my apprentice is more likely to hinder your chances at a permit than anything,” she said with a heavy sigh. “And my failures don’t stop there. I didn’t know about Muramasa’s wicked nature, so I didn’t realize how incredible it is that you can wield it with ease. I’m a disgrace.”
I can’t wield it with ease at all! It controls me, like, all the time! If anything, Hypno’s the disgrace, jumping to weird and entirely wrong conclusions!
“Compared to me, the commander is stylish, youthful, and beautiful. The only downsides were those dark circles under the eyes and the sloppiness, and now those are gone too and Hypno just looks like a teenage girl! I guess someone that dainty and cute would be better suited to be by your side. I mean, I don’t know what the commander’s gender is, but... Ugh!”
Iris went on and on, getting gloomier and gloomier with each word. “And then, under the guise of helping with your treatment, I went and did that to you while you slept. Well, I mean, I was serious at the time, but thinking back, a woman almost in her thirties cuddling a teenage boy like that is just... Aaaaargh!”
Muttering and mumbling to herself, Iris dropped to her knees.
Could it be... She feels like a failure as a mentor?!
Was she in low spirits because, as my mentor, she felt like she should be the one supporting her apprentice?! Was she jealous of what Hypno had done for me?!
Wow, what an amazing person!
She was already an SSS-rank good person just for being willing to help me! And now she reacts like this when someone comes along and helps me more?! What an absolute angel!
Truly, she was a certified SSSSSS-rank good person! She gets a Crow body pillow as a prize! Not that she wants one!
As her apprentice, I simply had to convey these feelings to her! Okay, no being shy, now! Here we go!
In front of a bunch of people, I firmly took hold of Iris’s shoulders.
“Wh— Crow?!”
“Listen to me, Iris. This is important.”
“Huh?!” Iris exclaimed in surprise, so loud that she drew the attention of the passersby.
I didn’t falter, however. Looking straight into her blue eyes, I said, “Iris. I don’t like to rank people in terms of who I love more. I find it incredibly disrespectful, actually. But...”
I leaned in closer to her face, drawing a surprised yelp from her lips and a loud “Ooh!” from people around us.
“To lift your spirits, however, I feel obligated to tell you this, just this once. Even more than I do Hypno, Iris, I love you.”
“Whaaaat?!” Iris exclaimed conspicuously, her face bright red.
The people around us yelled, “He said it!” and erupted into thunderous applause.
Aw, look at them, inspired by my deep love for my mentor!
“You gotta show it, bro!” someone yelled.
“Pop the question!” shouted another.
“Kiss her, dude! Kiss her!” exclaimed a third.
Wait, what?! Pop the question?! Kiss her?! What the hell are they going on about?! All I said was that I loved Iris as a mentor, and—wait. Did I forget the “as a mentor” part?!
No wonder all the clueless bystanders thought it was a love confession!
Ah, shit, I’m such an idiot! This is so embarrassing! Time to exit stage left! I could buy my ass medicine some other time!
“It seems I’ve attracted some unwanted attention. My apologies, Iris. Let’s go.”
“Huh? Huh?!”
I put an arm around the dumbfounded Iris and lifted her, princess style, before taking off running to look for a less crowded place.
“Wait! Crow! What are you doing?!”
Whoops. I must’ve startled her by picking her up all of a sudden. The bystanders also let out a surprised “Whoaaaaa!” for some reason.
They were all like, “He confessed publicly and used that technique?!” and “That’s the carrying style spoken of in the legends of a thousand years ago!” and “He’s going to run through the city like that?!” “Okay but, like, what if there’s actually a ten-year age gap between them, and, say, the woman’s a workaholic with no experience in romance, anxious about being able to marry at her age, and secretly, like, an ultrahorny virgin?! If someone like that suddenly got hit with that kinda love confession, she’d lose her mind, man!” and I had no idea what they were going on about.
First of all, as a country boy, I didn’t know a thing about legends. Second, Iris was way too amazing to be full-on horny. Third, even if she were, there was no way she’d go out with a loser like me.
“Dude, that black-haired guy is something else!” “What a legend!” “That was epic!”
I kept running past all the flabbergasted people, mentally sighing at how messy things had gotten.
It’s gonna be hard to clear up the misunderstanding with all those people. Fuck me, dude. Iris must be annoyed too, what with some brooding loser like me seemingly confessing to her, I thought as I ran. How do I undo this mess? Ugh, I can’t think of anything!
This was way too difficult for my tiny brain. I gave up.
Well, a wonder lasts but nine days and all that. People will forget soon, I’m sure, I finally convinced myself.
There was also the matter of how Iris herself would take my confession-like non-confession.
Whatever, it’ll be fine! I’ve been very clear about my appreciation for her as a master this whole time! So I’m sure she fully understood it as me saying I loved her as a mentor! Yep!
This was the kind, wise Iris, after all. There’s no way she’d have taken that in a weird way! Right?
“C-Crow, about what you said earlier,” Iris began, her voice shaky.
Hm? Oh, she must be mad at me for forgetting some words and causing people around us to misunderstand!
I was terribly sorry.
“I’ve caused you great embarrassment,” I said. “I’ll take full responsibility.” Maybe I’ll treat her to dinner as an apology. Yeah.
“R-Responsibility?! Y-You mean... Whaaat?!” Iris exclaimed, really loudly for some reason. Her face turned as red as it could get, and then she fainted, like something in her had snapped.
Wait, is she okay?! “Hey! Iris! Are you—oh, she’s sleeping peacefully, smiling like she’s in heaven.”
It didn’t look like she was feeling sick.
Hm, I thought, she must be exhausted, then. I’ll carry her back to the inn.
I decided to walk so as to not wake her up. Look at me, all thoughtful and shit. Heh!
Anyway...
I glanced down at my mentor, sound asleep in my arms.
What a beautiful woman she was! Normally, she was cool and dignified, but asleep like this, she looked like a princess. Way out of the league of a plain nobody like me. If I confessed to someone like her, I’d get shot down immediately and probably called a nuisance—the rejection to end all rejections!
“Since that didn’t happen, I’m sure she understood I meant love between mentor and disciple and not romantic love. Phew.”
I’d been playing the part of a good devoted apprentice this whole time, so it was a huge relief that she hadn’t misinterpreted me.
Placing my full trust in how we’d previously interacted, I continued my walk across the city.
✦ ✦ ✦
Meanwhile, inside Iris’s brain...
He confessed to meeeeeeeee! I-I wuv you too, Crow!
Yeah, she totally took it as romantic.