Memory (partially unreliable narration)
Eight years old Noah Goldsmith’s POV.
That person. I trust them with my life. When they say it’s going to be okay, it would be okay.
Long time ago Daddy told me to listen to them, to stay with them, and to love them.
But now...now I’m scared of them. They hurt me and always disappear, so now I get scared because I’m all alone in the big house by myself.
They know the white walls in my room are what I hate, so they painted it pink for me.
Baby pink!
It’s so pretty that I always look at it before I sleep. And sometimes, I don’t sleep, I just look at it till I’m giggling all by myself.
They told me not to tell daddy, but pink is my favorite color.
Pink is for girls, daddy always say so. But I like it. Daddy says I’m going to be a big boy and be a governor like him, that’s why I have to be tough and not like pink.
Why can’t I like pink? All the pretty flowers are pink.
They told me my favorite flower’s name is...cherry blossoms.
We have plenty of them in the city. Daddy is building new glass buildings with plenty of cool designs, but pink is still my favorite.
The door creaks open and I fall into my bed, pulling the blanket over my head, folding myself into a ball and shutting my eyes.
"I know you’re awake, Noah" Daddy’s voice say and I pretend to sleep.
"Come on son, I need to talk to you" he says and I respond.
"But I’m sleeping" I say with a fake yawn, the one they taught me how to do, but still, daddy doesn’t go away.
He pulls the sheet off, laughing at me as I sit up. "Hey!" I protest dramatically, making both of us laugh for a long time.
This is how me and my daddy are.
He loves me and I love him loads! We like to goof around with each other a lot. I like to act like a ghost, and he likes to act like ghost hunter.
"Here’s my big boy, what’s all that pretense about sleeping, huh? Your eyes are still bright" he ruffles my hair and I giggle, squirming away from him.
I’m always ticklish, and it’s very funny.
"I wanted to surprise you daddy" I laugh.
They used to say I sound like I’m giggling every time I laugh, but boys don’t giggle. Daddy never giggles, he laughs like a big strong man.
"How are you today, hmm" daddy asks and I fold my legs under me, looking up at him with round eyes.
Daddy has a big tummy, but he said he’s not pregnant, so it’s funny. And when he wears those clothes with people painted on them, he makes them move by doing a funny dance.
"I’m fine daddy, how are you today?" I ask, mimicking him.
"Ha! My boy, you’re going to be a good leader, aren’t you?" he asks and I nod.
"I want to be a good leader like you, you always do everything good" I tell him, bouncing on the bed with excitement.
"You’ll be an even better one. I’ll get you the best teachers, you’ll get the best care and you’ll be the icon of Winslow" he says and I nod solemnly.
Daddy and I have the same blue eyes. There are some silver in his, but mine are still bright blue.
"Noah" daddy says my name seriously, leaning forward and dropping his voice.
"Did Eden come to your room today?" he asks and I frown, trying to remember if they came to my room and also showing my displeasure.
I don’t like when daddy called them by name like that.
I don’t like when daddy calls me by name too. I like when he calls me son, or my boy, or my Future.
Saying Noah feels like trouble. I don’t like trouble. When I’m in trouble, they scold me, and they tell me I’m a bad boy.
I don’t like being a bad boy.
"Son?" my daddy calls and I look at him.
"Did Eden come to your room?" he asks and I shake my head, bottom lip jutting out as I remember...they stopped coming into my room after they ran mad.
Daddy said they’re losing their mind, and he’s going to keep me safe from them. But I miss them.
They told me they loved me, but now, they never visit me.
My bubble bath no longer feels the same. I still adore them, but I’m mad because I miss them.
"Don’t cry, my boy. It’s better this way, okay?" dad asks, helping me wipe the tears that stream down my cheeks as my lip tremble again.
"Very soon, you’ll be older, and you’ll understand things better. Until then, I’ll protect you, my boy" daddy hugs me and I hiccup a little.
I always hiccup when I cry.
They always say it’s cute, but daddy gets worried and gives me water to drink so he can help me to fight it away.
"Good night, my future" daddy kisses my head, helping me to lay back and tucking me in.
"Good night, daddy" I whisper, hiccuping once more.
"I’ll see you in the morning" he says and leaves the room, putting out the light and shutting the door.
One more hiccup makes me shake before someone opens the door.
"Daddy?" I ask, already half asleep. I played too much today, now I feel like sleeping for a long long time.
"No, baby. It’s me" they say and I open my eyes.
"You always leave me" I say, feeling another round of tears flooding my eyes as they come closer.
"I’m sorry, little one, come here. I’ll make it better" they say, coming closer to my bed after flicking the light on.
"Better?" I ask, and they hold out the flowers from the cherry blossoms tree.
"We’re going to play a game, Noah. I’ll take you somewhere, and then I’ll come for you"
"Like hide and seek?" I ask, finally waking out of my sleep and sitting up with my fists rubbing into my eyes.
"Hmm...it’s called hide and I’ll find you before the cherry blossoms die, okay?" they say and I nod.
Yay!