EVER since then, I cherished every second Mio spent with me. I think my love for her even deepened beyond what I had ever felt before. Yet at the same time, I was plagued with this ever-growing sense of guilt.
The catalyst had been when an old friend told me the truth about Mio. That day, I discovered that the girl who had once been the star of the entire grade had begun to fade into the background. Her grades, which used to be outstanding, were now falling by the wayside. That was why one day, on another one of her visits, I urged her to stop sacrificing her own prospects for my sake.
“What are you talking about?” Mio replied. “I’m only doing what I want to do—taking care of my precious baby sister. So don’t worry about it. I’m doing fine.”
She flashed this fleeting, radiant smile that I was sure would’ve charmed any boy in her class right there and then. It was just too bad she ever only smiled like that for me. I never did figure out whether to be happy or sad about the way she treated me. And that was why, in a messed-up way, when I found out I didn’t have long left, it felt like a weird kind of release.
I was sad, of course. Nobody wanted to die so young. But mixed in with this sorrow was an overwhelming sense of relief. Relief that Mio could finally be free from me, free from the immense responsibility she had shouldered at last. It was then that I thought about that manga for the first time in a long while. The girl who had embraced life with all her might, who ultimately succumbed to her mortality, who lived on in the heart of the boy she loved.
That ephemeral, heartrending story had been my favorite.
Then my most hated.
Then now, with the stark awareness of my limited time, it had reclaimed its place in my heart. I found myself wondering: would my memory live on in Mio’s heart just like the girl in the story? If so, then I had no regrets.
But then I learned about the hospital transfer. And not just to any hospital, but one reserved for the rich and powerful. The surcharge for a private room there, easily found through an internet search, wasn’t even in the same ballpark as the amount we’d been managing thus far. No matter how I looked at it, this was a place far removed from our world. Mio mentioned it was due to a favor from a lady associated with a powerful zaibatsu, but I saw through her explanation immediately. She must have been undertaking something absurd for my sake, once again.
Personally, I didn’t want to die. I wanted to live a full, rewarding life. But not at my sister’s expense. My resolve solidified when I saw Mio on the cover of a fashion magazine. “Mio. You’ve done so much for me—more than anyone should. Please, you don’t have to keep forcing yourself.”
She denied it to the very last, insisting she wasn’t forcing herself. I was happy to hear that, knowing she cared so deeply, but clearly, she was stretching the truth. Clearly, she was forcing herself. Her intentions might’ve been rooted in love and selflessness, but that didn’t negate the fact that she was sacrificing too much. This was a path I couldn’t let her continue to tread.
“But you’ve heard, haven’t you? That I only have three years left to live.”
“Shizuku, please—”
“So that’s it. Enough is enough, Mio. You don’t have to pretend for me anymore.”
The reality was that in three years, I would no longer be here. But Mio’s life would continue. She couldn’t keep this up for my sake, or else I would drag her future down along with mine. I wished to urge her to move forward without me, to live a life where she didn’t have to worry about my health. Yet, before I could voice these thoughts, Mio interjected:
“Listen, Shizuku. There is hope for you.”
The next thing she said was about a potential cure for my condition. I knew right away the trials she was referring to, but those were taking place overseas, and experimental at that. We didn’t know when or even if a cure would materialize from that.
But then she told me none of that mattered. That she knew in three years, I would be the first to receive the cure. And when I heard that, I just burst into tears.
“Is that why you’ve been acting so…strange? Is it all…because of me?”
“Mostly right, but let me correct you on one detail. It’s not because of you, Shizuku—it’s thanks to you. You’ve given me a purpose. I want to help you because I love you, so very much.”
I was split between two halves. The half of me that wanted to live, and the half of me that wanted to set my sister free. It was way too much to wrap my head around.
You can’t say that, Mio. You can’t say stuff like that, or else I’m going to want to cling on to life.
“Mio. Am I really, really, not a burden? I don’t want to give up. I want to live, so badly. But is that okay?”
“Of course, it’s okay. And I’ll be by your side every step of the way, making sure you reach that happy ending. You and me, together.”
In that moment, Mio gifted me something invaluable—I felt hopeful again, the courage to face the future, whatever it might hold. I was so thankful for her. Until now, she had been the one doing everything, but now, it was my turn to step up We were a team, and we were going to tackle whatever life throws at us, together.
Because both of us… Both of us were going to reach our happily ever afters.