Chapter 18

A Hardworking Girl Thief I ran into an unusual pair as I was strolling around town. “The Axis Church! Please join the Axis Church!” It was Cecily, shouting the praises of her religion. Joining her was… “The Axis Church… Please join the Axis Church…” Chris was clutching a ton of applications—perhaps forced to do so by Cecily—and was handing them out with a look of resignation. “Er, what are you doing?” When I spoke to them, Chris jumped as if she’d been caught doing something bad. “Ahhh, Megumin! We’re doing some PR, of course! I was just looking for more hands—won’t you help? As thanks, I’ll treat you to lunch!” “I don’t mind doing it for a bit, but why is an Eris follower like Chris part of this, too?” The Thief looked embarrassed by my question but nevertheless held out an application to a passerby, saying, “When I was bored and went to spend time at the hideout, Cecily said to me, ‘The Axis Church feels inferior now, thanks to the goddess Eris gracing everyone with an appearance so freely before. Isn’t your goddess a little too thoughtless?’ Then she asked me to help out for just today to show that I felt even a little sorry for them…” Why is this person such a pushover? “Axis followers’ complaints are fundamentally flawed, so you shouldn’t do what they tell you to. Eris deciding to come down and create confusion doesn’t have anything to do with a believer like you, right?” “I—I think I’d better help out all day.” I wasn’t sure why she said that, but if it was fine with her, then oh well. “Well, what should I help with? Shoving applications into everyone’s mailboxes or something?” A smile made its way across Cecily’s face after my question. “No, since you’re here, Megumin, let’s finally do you-know-what again!” …On Axel’s main street. Loudly, I cried to the passing people for assistance. “Please, won’t someone help me?! My pet cat is on the verge of death after a passing Eris follower attacked her!” I was cradling Chomusuke—who had been brushing up happily against my legs—with both hands to prevent her from struggling. With eyes glazed over like she’d given up on everything, Chris said to me, “M-my Eris-follower senses tell me that cat is eviiil. All I did was exact justice in the name of my goddess, so I’m not sooorry. If you really want to save her, you’ll have to join the Eris Chuuurch.” Chris’s monotone speech was the cue for Cecily to appear; the priestess pushed her way through the onlookers. “That’s enough, wicked Eris follower! Persecuting a poor little girl’s pet cat in a scheme to get her to make a big donation to the Eris Church if she wants you to heal its wounds? Even if a police officer was to forgive you, Lady Aqua and I cannot!” The people around us whispered to one another upon seeing our little play. “Isn’t that Megumin from Kazuma’s place? Is this some kind of new game of hers?” “Chris too—what is she doing? She seemed like such a respectable young woman…” “Hey, don’t look them in the eye. They’ll try to talk to you.” Hearing that, Chris covered her face with both hands and collapsed. Apparently, she couldn’t take it anymore. “Just great, you and Chris are so famous that I can’t use the usual trick! There goes my perfect plan, where a beautiful priestess revives the kitten with a miraculous Heal, and you’re so moved that you join the Axis Church in tears. Then the onlookers are lured into becoming believers one after another…” “I said I would help, not that I would join! Besides, I cannot do acting that advanced!” And just then. Suddenly feeling a presence behind me, I turned around, and… “What’re you doing?” Kazuma and Darkness were standing there; they’d gone out to buy dinner. The two of them had most interesting expressions on their faces. They looked on at Chris with pity in their eyes. “N-n-n-no, Darkness! Listen, Lowly Assistant! This is my apology to the Axis followers for the inconvenience they suffered when Eris appeared or something like that…!” Darkness placed a kind hand on Chris’s shoulder while the poor girl made a panicked excuse. Next to her, Kazuma grinned. “Chris…,” Darkness started. “If there’s ever anything that’s troubling you, I’m here to listen, okay? You can lean on me a bit more instead of doing something this dumb…” “Er, if there’s anything I can do, I’ll help, too. I’d rather you not lower the number of people around here with common sense. It’s low enough as it is.” “No! Both of you, this isn’t what you think! I’m begging you; stop looking at me like that!!”