Chapter 17

Two myths had been busted. The urban legends were real. The succubus joint at the end of the sky and the Time-Traveling Temptress—Sleeptopia had proven the existence of both. As soon as the review was published, Ye Pubbe became much, much livelier than usual. Review sales were booming. The crew had effectively been paid for their investigative work surrounding The Dying Tree in the Ruined City. Stunk was walking on air at an especially extravagant after-party. “Sorry to keep you waiting! Here’s your jumbo order of vampire meat skewers!” “Whoo-hoo! I’ve been waiting for this!” Meidri put a huge plate of food on the table, and Stunk hooted with glee. He tore into the skewers and stuffed his cheeks, then chugged some ale and sighed with satisfaction. “Good beer needs good meat! Meat, I say! Eat up, boys!” Stunk gestured for Zel and Kanchal to join him at the table instead of sitting at the bar, but he ended up waving for nothing. They both turned around with fear in their eyes, like they had just seen a horrific monster. “Whenever I look at your face, all I can see is that dusty old crone…” “Yeah, I don’t want to share a table with you and have people thinking I’m your friend…” Ever since Sleeptopia, Stunk had been getting this treatment. “How long are you guys gonna make a big deal over her age…? She was practically a pip-squeak, so she doesn’t deserve the granny treatment.” “Stunk, have you ever heard of ‘climax communities’?” “No, that’s a first.” “Elves also refer to them as ‘longevity forests,’ but they’re basically ancient forests that have reached achieved equilibrium across the vegetation after long years of cultivation.” Zel spoke in a serious tone with a deadpan look on his face. This was rather out of character for him. “And the crazy dickhead creature that buries his junk in the ground of that forest, drool dripping from his mouth, pounding away with reckless abandon—that’s you.” “What?! She was way cuter than the ground!” “How blind are you?! There aren’t even any elf grandmas who look like that! Kanchal, Crim, you guys agree with me, right?!” The halfling sitting next to them and the angel working the bar floor nodded with grave expressions. “The lap pillow itself might resemble sleeping on the dead leaves of the forest floor, which isn’t so bad… But if we’re talking about sex, that’s like fucking a fossil. A literal fossil. No matter how poor your taste is, don’t just throw your dick down the drain like that, man…” “Stunk, I bet you’d jump naked into a dormant volcano…” “Now I really can’t help but wonder what she looked like to you guys…” “Okay then, if you really wanna know, it’s like this.” Zel moved from the counter to the seat across from Stunk and started explaining. In the end, Kanchal joined them, too, making for three members of the after-party. Crim had to continue working to make up for the time they were away. They were badgered often by the pub patrons who wanted to hear about Sleeptopia. “They all really want to go check it out.” “I’m sure only the humans among them would request that transcendent granny, though.” “Are you still on that…?” Their conversation became lively, and another round of ale was brought to table. As Meidri lined up their mugs, she glanced at Crim and opened her mouth to speak. “Isn’t that place sealed up so you can’t get in without an angel?” “The seal’s gone now. Its terms were met after being opened once.” Stunk recalled leaving Sleeptopia. Before they realized it, the group of four was on a stairwell leading to the roof of The Dying Tree in the Ruined City. As they looked up, they saw the door to Sleeptopia. Where the roof had previously been, there was now a new top floor of the tower. “What I mean is that the succubus joint at the end of the sky became the succubus joint on the top floor of the tower. It’s now just a regular place that anyone can visit whenever they want.” “Hmm, I see how it is.” Meidri obviously didn’t care, even though she was the one who had asked in the first place. Zel leaned forward in his seat and spoke in a hushed voice. “I just heard this from Samtahn, but he said he found a great new joint while we were out on our mission.” “Yeah, yeah… It’s a hole in the wall in the underground dwarf village.” “You don’t say.” The group’s compasses responded in unison. After being so high in the sky, an underground excursion sounded like a breath of fresh air. “You guys just got back. Why don’t you pretend to be moral, upstanding people for a while longer?” “We’re drinking in the middle of the day.” Meidri was already disgusted as she walked away. There was no point in trying to explain their ambition to her. There was no end to this journey in sight. This was the story of men and their romantic whims, a chronicle of adventurers conquering countless trials and tribulations as they followed the compasses swinging from their crotches. They did not only obtain pleasure. Occasionally, they fell on their own swords, and as a result, they were injured. Cuckold roleplay was officially off the menu. That was something everyone could agree on. Stunk’s mental scars from that experience had fully healed. They were assuaged by the warm, generous service at Sleeptopia. It was an unforgettable experience, but such pleasure, no matter how good, was transient. A man’s compass was quick to seek new romance, ever rising to the occasion. His pursuit knew no bounds, as long as the world knew love and hope in the form of succubus joints. “Okay! Let’s get some rest before heading out!” “What ancient ruins will Stunk plunder this time?” “Shut the hell up!” The journey of man continued…