✶✶✶
AFTER that encounter, the two of us agreed to meet again the next day. Our time together behind the schoolhouse turned into a daily occurrence.
He was an easy person to talk to. We discussed our classes, of course, but he could easily keep up with my discussion about land management as well. It turned out that Siraiya had been helping the duke with his paperwork at home.
The more time we spent together, the more drawn to him I felt. I was confident that, if he agreed to marry into my family, he would look after our territory as if it were his own.
The two of us could become a couple who supported each other, just as my parents did.
One day, I showed up with a blanket of my own so that Siraiya wouldn’t have to lend me his jacket anymore. But instead, he smiled sadly and told me, “That’s too bad. I’ve lost the only thing I can do for you.” It was so cute, I nearly swooned on the spot.
Then there was the time that Siraiya’s class was dismissed late. My heart clenched when I saw him dashing toward me to make up for lost time. On another occasion, I reached the back of the schoolhouse on a rainy day and was greeted with a smile of relief. “I was worried you might not show up today…” he said, standing there with his umbrella. I was so touched that I let out a strange squeal by accident.
Siraiya only became more appealing as our time together increased. Before long, it was impossible to get him out of my mind.
I wish I could see him more. Can’t tomorrow get here a little faster?
I wished our conversations never had to end.
“Lord Brooke, am I bothering you by asking you to meet with me every day?”
“Of course not! It’s not a bother at all! …But aren’t you bored of talking to someone like me all the time?”
I had to respond when Siraiya hung his head, suddenly insecure. I stood up from the staircase, approached him, and stared into those green eyes. “Absolutely not! I only wish we could speak more often!”
When he looked at me with such shock, I wanted to reach out and take his hand. But we weren’t engaged, so such a thing wasn’t permitted.
“I enjoy our conversations so much. I’m always thinking about subjects to discuss during our limited time together and planning topics for the next day. When I wake up in the morning, knowing I’ll get to speak with you even more brings warmth to my heart.”
I let my growing feelings take over as I stepped closer and closer. He took a step back each time in response.
“Lady Cynthia… You’re too…close…”
“Will you promise to keep meeting with me?”
I stepped forward again, causing Siraiya to retreat until his back was pressed against the school wall.
“…!”
Siraiya’s face grew redder and redder as he struggled to find his words. In that moment, I despised how his bangs hung in front of his face, shrouding his expression from me.
When I got just close enough that we were almost touching, Siraiya couldn’t take it. He squeezed his eyes shut and raised his voice.
“F-Fine, then. I promise!”
“Excellent.”
Relieved, I retreated as Siraiya clutched at his chest and sighed. He’s so inexperienced at romance. It’s absolutely adorable.
“I’m delighted to hear that. I’m already excited for tomorrow!”
“But…we don’t have school tomorrow…”
“What?!”
✦ ✦ ✦
✶✶✶
WEEKENDS were no longer the most enjoyable parts of my schedule.
“Ugh!”
I let out a long sigh before falling face-first into my bed.
I wonder what Siraiya’s doing right now? Does he miss me as much as I miss him?
There was no guarantee that he’d agreed to meet me every day because he had feelings for me. Siraiya’s family was bullying him, and he had no one in his life he could talk to. It was possible that he only met with me because he was starved for conversation.
“That’s right! Siraiya’s being harassed at home! For all I know, he could be suffering right now…!”
I jumped out of bed and raced to my bedroom door, but before I could open it, my body went limp and I sank to the floor.
“I’m not even his fiancée. I can’t just march into a duke’s home…”
I was worried about Siraiya. What if, at that very moment, he was having a sad experience? What if he was having his self-confidence stripped away? What if that beautiful, mature face—so cute whenever he smiled at me—was now wet with tears?
The more I pictured it, the more frustration welled up inside of me.
“I want him to smile.”
I wanted to make him smile. I wanted to be someone in his life who could do that for him.
“I want to make him happy.”
These feelings must be…
A knock came at my door. I stood up out of reflex—the future viscount couldn’t let anyone see her lounging around on the ground.
“Who is it?”
“My apologies for interrupting your rest time, but Viscount and Viscountess Rhuddlan have summoned you,” came the voice from the other side of the door.
“I’ll be right there,” I answered, realizing there’d been no reason to stand in the first place.