Chapter 12: Wonderful Days at the Rhuddlan Manor (Siraiya’s Perspective)
WHEN I awoke, a bright red color surrounded me on every side.
I’d never woken up next to anyone else before. The same loneliness greeted me every morning as soon as I opened my eyes. This feeling should have been new to me, but for some reason, this warmth was nostalgic. I savored the sensation for a while.
Viscountess Rhuddlan must have been the one to put the blanket on me. Weren’t she and her husband cold without one? I thought about getting up, but I didn’t dare move while Cynthia’s head was resting on my shoulder.
I stared at Cynthia’s beautiful features and decided what to do.
She was raised with nothing but love and became such a wonderful young woman. She told me she loved my glittering silver hair, but to me, Cynthia shone far brighter.
Once I started school, I knew from the moment I saw her that I’d never be considered as a candidate to marry her. The dazzling young woman was strong to her core. A depressing wretch like myself could never stand by her side. Realizing that filled me with shame.
I was too embarrassed to even take up space in her brain. I wanted her to forget that I was ever submitted as a marriage candidate, so each time I caught a glimpse of that red hair, I hung my head and tried to hide behind my long bangs.
That was why I spent so much time behind the school. When I heard her call my name, I was terrified. She was pure, and my name stained her lips. I didn’t want someone so brilliant to dull her eyes on a pitiful person like me.
I wanted us to stay strangers. If she knew who I was, she would see me as the duke’s creepy, illegitimate son.
I’d broken out into a cold sweat from my panic. But the second she said she wanted to talk to me, for some reason, I felt nothing but happiness. It was such a contradiction, it made my head spin with confusion.
It was only now that I could put it into words.
That feeling was “love.”
The feeling of wanting to hide my face with shame, yet wanting to jump for joy, knowing she was willing to talk to me.
Cynthia was my first love.
I looked at her sleeping face again.
This wonderful person wanted to marry me. At times, she begged me to let her kiss me. Her love was intense and suffocating. She kept me so occupied, I never had a moment to question if this whole thing was some sort of fantasy I’d made up in my head.
“I love you… Cynthia.” My feelings welled up until I couldn’t contain them anymore. “Stay by my side forever.”
Until the day I die. No, I want to stay with you until my soul is torn from my body. I said that prayer in my head as my eyes took in Cynthia and all of her beauty again. That was when I saw her adorable lips twitching.
“…You’re awake?”
“I’m sleeping.”
Hearing her respond instantly made my shoulders rock with laughter. Cynthia gave up and laughed with me, too.
The viscount and viscountess both sat up after that.
“I’m sorry. Did we wake you?” I was flustered for a moment, but they smiled at me.
“It’s a great start to the day when you get to wake up to your dear daughter and son-in-law’s laughter.”
“Yes, it’s such a blessing. I only wish the sound of my children laughing woke me up every single morning.”
“Our son-in-law.” “My children.” Do I really get to be a member of this incredible family?
Viscountess Rhuddlan smiled softly at me. “There’s nothing left to stop you and Cynthia from getting married now. Why don’t you start calling us Mother and Father?”
“She’s right. Go ahead, give it a try, my boy.”
I gulped and tensed my fists. Was it truly all right for me to address Cynthia’s parents that way? I trembled with joy, even though it felt wrong somehow.
“Siraiya.” Cynthia’s gentle voice encouraged me. She set her hand on my clenched fist, unfolding it slowly, and bestowed words of love upon me. “Let’s be a family.”
Yes. I want to be your family.
The viscount and viscountess rose from the sofa and stood in front of me, their gazes full of affection.
No, maybe they will welcome me with love in their hearts. The Rhuddlans have enough of it to share with me.
I wanted to be one of them—part of a happy family that was burning up with love.
“…Father. Mother.”
“Siraiya.”
They smiled and called my name in unison. I’d never had a “mother” or a “father” smile back at me.
“Father…! Mother…!”
This time, my voice shook and heat rushed to my cheeks. They knelt down, took my hands, and told me they were right here with me. So this is how parents comfort their children when they cry?
It was something foreign to me, but now I realized that I probably wanted this in my life all along.
Cynthia cradled my head against her chest and whispered, “We’ll always be here for you.”
I was so overwhelmed by the ocean of love inside them. I didn’t even have time to process that my loneliness had become a thing of the past. I could do nothing but sit there and enjoy this newfound feeling of fulfillment in my heart.
✦ ✦ ✦
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“SO? Why were the two of you sleeping in a place like that?”
In response, we briefly explained last night’s events to Father. Before I could apologize for using their kitchen without permission, Mother cried out enthusiastically.
“Oh my! I want to try my son’s cooking too!”
Father sounded just as enthused. “Madeleines, you say? Excellent choice! They go great with black tea.”
“I left some madeleines in the kitchen. Would you like to try them?” I asked.
“Of course! There’s still time before breakfast. What do you say we go and nab one now?”
“All right, let’s head to the dining room. I’ll ask the servants to brew our best tea!”
“Very well. I’ll bring you the madeleines with some of my delicious special topping.”
I just hoped they would like it. The foods I used to cook for myself could now bring happiness to my family.
I’ll dust my madeleines with lots of chili pepper to make sure they’re perfect…
“Mother and Father love honey!” Cynthia’s shout suddenly echoed off the walls of the library.
“Honey…?”
“Yes! Honey! They won’t take anything else! So go ahead and bring them honey for their madeleines, okay?”
She seemed tense for some reason, but at her insistence, I answered, “Okay…then I’ll use honey instead.”
My chili pepper sweets would have to wait until next time.