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“MAY I ride with you, too, Lord Brooke?”
“Lady Rhuddlan! That outfit really suits you,” he instantly complimented me.
“Thank you. You look very gallant on horseback as well.”
The outfit Siraiya had praised—my riding clothes—included pants like what men normally wore. I also tied my hair up in a ponytail.
Noblewomen never rode sidesaddle in this world.
Perhaps it was because, in my past life, where this dating sim was made, women already straddled horses to ride them just like men did. Or perhaps they didn’t want to put in the extra work of drawing the special saddles meant for sidesaddling.
I mounted Ally and felt her draw closer to Noah. Before I knew it, Siraiya and I were eye-to-eye and blushing. This was becoming a common occurrence for us.
“Why don’t the two of you head to the lake nearby? That will be a good way to get some practice in.”
With Father’s permission, the two of us gladly took off toward the lake.
We galloped outside of our manor’s property and down the horse paths of the small forest. When we emerged, we found ourselves staring at the lake.
Siraiya and I both dismounted our horses, deciding it was best to let Noah get some rest after their training session together. We led them to the lake to drink from the clear water, then tied them to a nearby tree.
Siraiya and I stood side by side and gazed out at the shimmering lake that reflected the forest.
“I never imagined I would get to ride a horse today. It made me really happy.”
Siraiya was the first to break the silence. I could hear the elation in his words, and I felt equally elated to know I’d added even a single moment of happiness to his life.
“I was so impressed with how quickly you took to it,” I said. “It seems your gifts for academics extend to horseback riding as well.”
“It was all thanks to Noah. What a clever horse. He really understood what I needed.”
“Hehe! Yes, Noah is such a smart boy.”
We fell silent for a moment. Nervous as I was, there was something I needed to ask him.
“Is your life at home…difficult?”
Siraiya’s gaze fell to the ground in thought. After casting a glance at the horses, he brought his gaze back to the lake. “…I was always jealous of how Father taught my brothers to ride. Why was that something they got to experience, but not me? It was so crushing… I felt completely alone. But the more it happened, the more I learned how to give up. Now I’m excellent at the art of giving up, and I don’t feel the same pain I did as a child.”
Those green eyes seemed to be looking at something far past the lake. They’d gone dark and murky, as if the light had been chased out of them.
I couldn’t imagine how long he’d been “giving up” since his childhood. It was all he could do to keep his heart intact. Perhaps pretending not to know how badly he’d been hurt was what eventually made him succumb to insanity in the game.
“I don’t want you to give up.”
It was a presumptive statement, but the words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. Then I squeezed my lips together to reprimand myself. I could have easily upset him, but behind those long bangs, his eyes had softened.
“You’re so kind,” he said, his voice soft and tender. “The three of you make a wonderful, loving family. I’m glad I got to witness such a happy household with my own eyes today.”
“…Thank you for saying that. My family is my pride and joy.”
Normally, praise for my family would lift my spirits, but all I felt upon hearing that was an overwhelming sense of futility.
That was probably why I was able to finally muster up the courage to say those difficult words.
“I’d like you to be part of my family, too.”
A strong wind blew in from the lake.
My heart raced.
Shyness was the next feeling to take its grip on me, preventing me from taking steady breaths. But I wasn’t going to back down now. I refused.
I stared straight into those green eyes, widening each second from his shock. Unable to contain it any longer, I spun each of my feelings into words so I could share them with him.
“I want to protect you. I want to help you to stop giving up on things. I want to make you happy. I want to build a loving family with you, too.”
“Lady Brooke… Does that mean…?”
“Please marry me, Lord Brooke!”
The wind suddenly stopped, leaving in its wake a painful stillness.
The silence seemed to go on forever, though I knew it was only a brief moment in reality. Finally, Siraiya parted his lips.
“The Brooke family won’t show you any goodwill, even if we were to get engaged. In fact, the Rhuddlans will probably lose face once the world finds out you’re engaged to a duke’s illegitimate son. I’m sure you could find someone a lot better than—”
“Lord Brooke.”
Siraiya was staring at the ground as he spoke, but I cut him off.
“I only want to know how you feel.”
I heard him inhale. Those wavering green eyes rose to look at me again.
“I— I can’t. I’m not good enough for you.”
“Tell me your feelings.”
“You deserve a different husband! Someone wonderful who can make you happy!”
“But is that what you want?”
“I…!”
The sunlight reflected off the lake’s surface, causing his eyes to sparkle. As he squinted against the light, Siraiya answered me at last.
“I want…to be family with you.”
Another strong gust of wind struck our backs. With its momentum, I moved forward and pulled Siraiya into a hug.
“Then let’s do it. The two of us can make a happy family together. I refuse to let you feel lonely ever again.”