“No, I don’t mean to tell Himari,” said Shisei. “I’m talking about you, Akane…the truth about you. Do you want to hear?” Shisei’s small frame suddenly looked far bigger to Akane.
Akane didn’t know what to say. She had become scared—of Shisei, of Saito and Himari, and of herself.
And so, she turned and fled from all of them.
As soon as dinner ended, Akane stood up to leave the living room.
Lately, Akane and Saito had been spending more time together—playing games, watching movies, or simply doing different things in the same space. It had started to feel like a family, however faintly. But tonight, Akane was acting distant.
Saito called out to her. “You’re not going to study here?”
Akane stopped walking but didn’t turn around. “I can concentrate better in the study room,” she responded.
“I see…”
“Is there a problem?” asked Akane curtly.
“No…no problem.” Scratching his head, he added, “I just wanted to talk a bit. Actually…Himari asked me out on a date.”
“I know,” said Akane coldly. “Good for you. She’s sweet, cute, has a better figure than me, and a much nicer personality. You’re not good enough for her.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Himari was popular with both boys and girls—she could have anyone she wanted.
Akane crossed her arms in clear irritation. “So? What exactly is the point of this conversation? I’m busy prepping for tomorrow’s classes.”
The atmosphere bristled like it had during the old wartime days between them. But something felt different this time.
“Is it okay with you if I go on the date with her?”
“Why are you asking me? If it’s about grocery shopping, I’ll handle it alone.”
“No…that’s not it. I mean…we are married, after all,” explained Saito.
“Our marriage wasn’t for love! We were forced into it! We only joined hands to pursue our own goals! Who you date or fall for has nothing to do with me!” Akane shouted it all at once, and by the end, she was breathing hard, her fists clenched, eyes blazing at him with resentment.
Saito let out a quiet sigh. “Got it. I wanted to check, just in case,” he said.
“Um…” Akane started to say something but thought better of it.
Trying to dispel the oppressive mood, Saito forced a lighter tone into his voice. “I’ve never been on a date before, so…where do you think I should take her? What kind of place would Himari enjoy?”
“How would I know? Don’t ask me,” muttered Akane, forcing a twisted smile.
“…Sorry.”
Neither of them moved. The silence between them was bitter and suffocating, pressing down on Saito’s shoulders with relentless weight.
During lunch, Saito sat on a bench in the school courtyard reading a book, but not a single word was sinking in. A scorching sense of impatience and an indescribable feeling of unease swirled in his chest.
“You haven’t turned the page in a while,” said Shisei, who was sitting next to him.
Saito gave up the ruse and closed his book. “I’ve been thinking…”
“It’s about the date with Himari, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know how you know that, but yeah.”
“When it comes to you, Ani-kun, I, Shise, know everything,” she boasted, puffing out her chest proudly.
“Honestly, I’m honored that Himari asked me out. I don’t dislike her. We get along, and she’s a good person. I’m sure the date with her will be fun.”
“Then there’s nothing to worry about,” assured Shisei. “Just go on the date and have sex.”
“Wha—?!” Saito flinched, flustered.
“Himari wants that too, you know. Everyone wins,” she added without a single hint of embarrassment.
“Right… Akane did tell me the other day in no uncertain terms that she hated me.”
Shisei’s shoulders twitched at his words. “Does that bother you, Ani-kun?”
“It’s not that it bothers me…”
“If Akane hadn’t said all that, would you still be unsure about what to do?”
Saito didn’t have an answer for her. The truth was, even Saito didn’t understand why he was this conflicted. The Saito from just a short time ago would have accepted Himari’s invitation without hesitation. Spending time with Himari had always been comfortable—unlike Akane, Himari made every effort to match Saito’s pace. She wasn’t fond of difficult books, and yet she pushed herself to read them just to have something to talk about together. Himari shared her feelings wholeheartedly—there was no way Saito would regret dating someone like her.
And yet, Akane’s sorrowful expression kept surfacing in Saito’s mind.
“Ani-kun.”
“Ouch!”
Shisei had poked Saito’s throat right in the Adam’s apple.
“What the hell, Shise! That’s a vital spot!”
“I thought it might wake you up.”
“Well, it did, but I felt like I was going to choke.” Saito rubbed his neck.
“Words aren’t always the truth. Sometimes they’re a mask serving to protect the inner self,” said Shisei.
“What do you mean?”
“Akane is hard to read. You might think you understand her, but there’s a chance you’ve misunderstood everything. If you want this marriage to be a happy one, you should confirm how she really feels.”
Shisei then rested her head on Saito’s lap and lay down on the bench. She lightly pinched his school uniform like it was a blanket and began to snore softly in sleep.
“You know, Shise, you’re the one who is most cryptic of all,” Saito muttered, gently stroking her hair.
One weekend morning, a shrill alarm rang through the bedroom.
Saito sluggishly reached out to turn it off, then sat up in bed, his head still foggy from another night of restless sleep. There was no sign of Akane. She must have gotten up from the bed long ago—there wasn’t even a trace of lingering warmth left on her side of the bed. Since dinner yesterday, the two of them had hardly exchanged any words.
The drowsiness still clung to him, but today was an important day. He had to follow through, just as he had planned. Saito slapped both of his cheeks to snap himself awake, then got up from bed.
He entered his study and began choosing an outfit from the closet: a knit top, a neat jacket, and slim pants. Saito didn’t care much for fashion, but his wardrobe happened to be well-stocked with stylish date-appropriate brand-name clothes, courtesy of his grandfather Tenryu. He’d never expected them to actually come in handy.
Once dressed, Saito headed downstairs and washed his face in the bathroom. Using the hair wax he’d bought the day before, he gave the ends of his hair a bit of a tousle.
Passing by in the hallway, Akane caught sight of him in the mirror. “I’ve never seen you style your hair before,” she said, her tone laced with reproach.
“Is that a problem?”
“Not really. I just thought you’re oddly fired up today,” said Akane.
“Can’t afford to make my date uncomfortable,” he answered plainly, rinsing the wax off his fingers.
“…You never do your hair when you’re with me.”
“Do you want me to?”
“Of course not! It doesn’t suit you at all! You’re just creepily full of yourself when you try to act cool!” This morning, Akane’s thorns were sharper than usual—at least 50 percent more so.
Saito was aching to ask her why she was in such a foul mood. He wondered if doing so would make her angrier, as he assumed it would.
After finishing his preparations, Saito slipped on his leather dress shoes at the front door.
Akane wasn’t studying as usual. Instead, she stood there, clearly restless. “You’re really…going?” she asked hesitantly.
“If you want me to stay, I’ll stay,” Saito offered.
At that, Akane folded her arms and turned her face away. “I’m not stopping you! We’re just in a marriage of convenience! If you want to go on a date with Himari or whoever, go right ahead!” Her voice was dripping with open hostility.
“I hate that arrogant, lazy, insensitive jerk! I hate him!”
The words he’d overheard from the closet echoed in his ears, stabbing into his heart like a knife once again. To Akane, Saito really was just someone to despise. Since they had reluctantly started this marriage, they had fought, compromised, and gotten to know each other. Saito had hoped, maybe, just maybe, things were changing. But nothing had. The book he longed to open remained sealed tight.
That was fine by Saito. As long as he got his grandfather’s company, a sham marriage should be enough. So…why did his heart hurt so much?
“Well… I’m off. I’ll be late, so eat dinner without me,” said Saito, opening the heavy front door to leave.
Just then, something slammed into Saito’s back.
“I don’t know why…but I don’t want you to go!”
It took Saito a few seconds to realize Akane was clinging to him. The softness of her touch, the sweet scent of her hair—it all slowly spread warmth across his back.
She was trembling. Her fierce and clumsy soul was shaking. Even without seeing her face, he could tell she was sobbing.
Akane cried out, pouring her heart into her words. “I don’t even know why I feel this way, but I don’t like it! The thought of you being out shopping with another girl breaks my heart! Even if it’s just for show, you’re still my husband!”
Saito could feel her pain through her touch. The truth was, Saito never really understood his own feelings. Forced into marriage without knowing what love even was—he was supposed to hate Akane. And yet, her words still made him hesitate. If she didn’t matter to him, he shouldn’t have felt anything at all. So how could she shake his heart like this?
Saito let out a small breath and turned around.
“I was hoping to hear you say that.”
“Wha…?” Akane looked up at him, eyes brimming with tears, utterly bewildered.
Saito continued. “I already cancelled the date with Himari a long time ago. It turns out you didn’t actually hate me, then, did you?” he asked.
Akane’s face flushed red like a strawberry. “Whaaat?!”
Akane began lightly pounding on Saito’s chest—out of anger, out of embarrassment, or perhaps a mix of both. “You conned me! You tricked me! I do hate you! Hate you, hate you, I totally hate you!”
But there was no force behind her punches. No venom in her words. Akane’s true feelings were hard to read, but at this moment, even Saito could tell what they were. He chuckled as he caught her fists.