“Houjou Security’s Custom-Made, No-Mark, Lawsuit-Proof Stun Gun!”
Saito was stunned. “What a name… That cutesy design hides a truly sinister side…”
“No one’s ever pressed charges. The girl from class even said, ‘Do it again tomorrow, please!’” said Shisei.
“Is it really working as a deterrent, then?” If anything, this seemed to have created a new problem.
Akane peered at it with great interest. “A stun gun… It’s my first time seeing a real one,” she said. “It’s kinda cute.”
“I’ve got an extra. I’ll give you one. Use it if Ani-kun ever tries anything pervy.”
“Really?! That’d be a lifesaver!”
“Don’t arm her! She doesn’t need an increase in firepower!” Saito quickly picked Shisei up and pulled her away from Akane before she could hand the weapon over. Their house was already dangerous enough—no need to turn it into an actual war zone.
“I’ve actually used this stun gun to exorcise many ghosts.”
“Stun guns work on ghosts?!” asked Akane.
“Yes. Ghosts are formed by distorted magnetic fields and wayward neural electrical impulses—so you can deal with them by using electricity,” Shisei explained, nodding solemnly.
Akane looked at her with admiration. “Wow. You really know your stuff, Shisei-san…” Desperate times called for desperate measures, it seemed, since the normally logical one in the relationship was completely buying into Shisei’s nonsense.
Saito leaned in and whispered to Shisei. “Don’t lay it on too thick. If she starts buying pots of magical good fortune and such, what’s next?”
“Don’t worry, this is all part of the plan,” Shisei whispered back. “I’ll get her to believe I’m a powerful exorcist and then declare that there’s nothing in the house. That should put her at ease.”
“Oh…that actually makes a lot of sense…” mumbled Saito.
“I, Shise, am always on Ani-kun’s side. I’ll never steer you wrong,” said Shisei, thumping her chest confidently.
“That’s what people say right before they steer you horribly wrong…” quipped Saito.
Still, Saito knew better than anyone that Shisei truly would never do anything to hurt him. He decided to trust her on this one.
The three of them finally arrived at home. Akane unlocked the door, and Shisei stepped into the house.
“Hmmm…” muttered Shisei.
“What do you think, sensei…?” asked Akane.
To Saito’s surprise, Akane had already started addressing Shisei like she was the master of some paranormal dojo. Here we go… Come on, Shise, tell Akane there’s nothing here!
Saito watched with hope as Shisei solemnly declared, “This house is teeming with spirits… It will soon be completely swallowed by the underworld.”
“Shise—?!” Saito couldn’t believe his ears.
Akane’s face turned as white as a sheet. “Th-the underworld?! Wait, it’s already too late?! Should we just burn the house down?!”
“Don’t be hasty!” shouted Saito.
Akane bolted toward the kitchen, but Saito held her back. There was no way he was going to let a classmate commit arson.
“Don’t worry. That’s why I’m here. I’ll find the center of the disturbance and eliminate it. That will dispel the spirits,” said Shisei matter-of-factly.
“Please, sensei!” Akane looked at Shisei with the face of a true believer staring at her savior.
Shisei casually kicked off her shoes at the entrance and stepped inside as if it were her own home. With no hesitation, she ran down the hallway into the living room. “The spiritual presence is coming from this direction,” she said as she opened the refrigerator and stood on her tiptoes, retrieving a plastic container with both hands.
“That’s…just the braised burdock root dish I made last night,” said Akane.
“I sense a dangerous aura…if we don’t do something about it, the whole family could collapse…” said Shisei gravely.
“No way! I just made it last night!” Akane peered nervously at the container.
“There’s only one solution. If I, Shise, with my spiritual resistance, eat all of this…”
“Sensei, you’d be able to seal the spirits inside your stomach…? But what about your body?!” cried Akane.
“My body might explode…” Shisei replied solemnly.
“Explode?!” Akane’s eyes widened.
Shisei reassured her.
“It’s fine. If it’s to protect you two, I don’t care what happens to me…”
Saito cut in. “You’re just hungry, right?”
As Shisei reached to open the container, Saito grabbed her hand. Shisei was drooling, her desire barely concealed.
“Sensei, please take this seriously!” Akane, though now fully a believer, scolded Shisei as well.
“Mgh…” Shisei reluctantly put the container back in the fridge. Still exuding the authoritative air of a skilled exorcist, Shisei then turned her sharp gaze toward the open kitchen and living room. “Where did you see the ghost?”
“I didn’t see it clearly, but I heard something running around the living room,” said Akane. “It was around eight o’clock at night, I think.”
“Oh?” Shisei’s eyes lit up.
“Sensei, did you sense something?” asked Akane eagerly, waiting for a divine revelation.
“Hmm…hm?” Shisei placed her finger on her cheek and tilted her head. “It’s here, isn’t it? There’s a spirit of a child in the living room! It’s watching us right now, isn’t it?!”
Panicking, Akane ducked behind the counter and reached under the sink for a knife, but Saito was using all his strength to hold the sink door shut so she couldn’t grab one. She was too panicked to even notice.
“There’s not enough information for a definitive judgment. More investigation is needed,” said Shisei, leaving the living room and stepping into the hallway. Saito and Akane followed her.
“You do have an idea, don’t you?” asked Saito. “Of what’s in our house?”
“Until things are clear, it’s best for amateurs not to know,” Shisei replied.
“‘Amateurs,’ she says…” muttered Saito. It wasn’t like Shisei was any sort of professional exorcist herself.
“The fridge is spawning an endless stream of spirits… A gate to the underworld must have opened in there…” Akane hugged herself and trembled.
“Why would our house be some kind of paranormal hotspot? I mean, I guess it’d be kinda cool if it were,” said Saito.
“What’s wrong with you?! Are you an emissary from the underworld?!” Akane glared at him, visibly alarmed.
“What even is that supposed to mean? I don’t believe in the paranormal, but come on—wouldn’t it be exciting to actually encounter the unknown?”
“No, it wouldn’t! I’m starting to question if you’re even human!”
Shisei, with purposeful steps, climbed the stairs and stopped in front of a door. “This room?” she asked.
“It’s my study, though I don’t really use it for studying. It’s more of a reading room,” said Saito.