Epilogue
ONCE AGAIN, MORNING DESCENDED UPON THE two of them.
Trying to escape the sunlight that had begun streaming into the bedroom, Saito buried his face under the blanket. The soft fabric that had been infused with the sweet scent of Akane, wrapped all around him, lulled him into pleasant drowsiness. Lately, he had been suffering from a lack of sleep due to Akane’s illness, making the pull of the bed particularly strong. Just as he was about to drift back into dreamland, Akane’s voice rang out from nearby.
“How long are you planning to sleep? Get up already!”
“Yeah, yeah, I know…” muttering this half-hearted reply, Saito burrowed even deeper into the blankets.
“You’re going to be late for school,” urged Akane.
“It’s no use. I’ll just have to take a month off…” Saito trailed off.
“What are you even saying, Saito? Just get up already!”
Akane shook Saito’s shoulder, but her gentle touch made him even sleepier. Just as Mr. Sandman was about to take him back into the realm of sleep, she whispered into his ear, “If you don’t get up right now, I’ll wake you up with the blazing hot frying pan I just used to make bacon and eggs.”
Saito jolted awake instantly, instinctively checking his surroundings for potential threats.
“Good morning,” Akane said, smiling brightly beside the bed. She looked dazzling, dressed in her school uniform with an apron over it. Her frying pan was nowhere to be found.
“…You devil.”
“Oh? Calling me a devil is pretty rude, and here I went through all that effort to wake you up. You should be grateful,” said Akane.
“Thanks,” muttered Saito.
“Is that all?”
“Thank you…very much, Akane.”
“That’s better, Saito.”
Akane let out a satisfied huff.
When her high fever kept her bedridden, she had been meek and quiet, but the moment the fever broke, her boisterous nature started to return. Some time had passed since then, and Akane had fully returned to her energetic self.
Well, this version of her puts me more at ease anyway. Seeing Akane act all docile felt unnatural to Saito, and watching over her in a weakened state didn’t sit well with him either. Still, it was a little bit worrying that he had grown to find her sharp tongue comforting. He might have been getting a little too used to it.
Akane shot Saito a reproachful look as he got out of bed.
“Yesterday, you went to school without washing your face, didn’t you?” Akane asked.
“It was raining. I figured the rain would do the job for me,” Saito explained.
“That’s not how it works! What are you, a caveman? You walked into the classroom completely drenched. It freaked me out. What if you had caught a cold?” Akane asked.
“I’d take some cold medicine,” Saito declared confidently.
“That’s not the point! You have to wash your face, it’s just basic human decency!” Akane nagged.
“So if I stop being human, I won’t have to wash my face? Hmm, I never thought about it that way…”
As he walked down the hallway, Akane followed closely behind.
“Stop kidding around! For someone who’s good at studying, you’re absolutely hopeless at everything else. If I left you alone, you’d probably end up with mushrooms growing all over your body,”
Akane was nagging at Saito like a helicopter mother.
Saito turned around, wanting to make her quiet down a bit. He shrugged.
“You sure you should be talking to me like that?”
“…Huh? What’s with that attitude?” Akane frowned.
“You said it yourself, didn’t you? That I am someone you ‘admire’?”
“…!”
Akane’s face turned bright red. She waved her hands frantically in denial.
“That was a mistake! I told you, the fever was making me delirious!” she explained.
“Didn’t sound like a mistake to me. I even recorded it on my phone. Maybe we should let some classmates listen and decide for themselves?” Saito teased.
“Try it, and I’ll throw you and your phone into an active volcano!”
Akane lunged at him, but Saito swiftly dodged, escaping into the bathroom. What was meant to silence her had only stirred up more chaos.
He made sure to lower the toilet seat after finishing his business—he had no intention of repeating past mistakes and facing Akane’s wrath again. After all, he wanted to live comfortably in their shared home.
Saito moved to the sink and washed his face. As he dried off and glanced at the mirror, he froze in surprise. Standing behind him, reflected in the glass, was Akane. She was staring at him intently, having hidden herself against the hallway wall. Realizing she had managed to slip behind him unnoticed, a chill ran down Saito’s spine.
“Wh-what? I don’t even have my phone on me right now, and I was just joking about the recording.”
“…Dressing.”
“Pardon?”
“For the salad. Do you want French or onion?” asked Akane.
“Uh…onion,” answered Saito.
“Got it. Hurry up and get ready, then come eat,” demanded Akane as she turned away and walked off.
When Saito entered the classroom, Shisei scurried up to him. As always, her porcelain appearance made it seem as though an actual doll was walking around. The other girls in class whispered remarks like “So cute!” and “How adorable!” The comments would have been rude if directed at any other classmate, yet they openly treated Shisei like some kind of prized object.
Shisei pressed her face against Saito’s chest and sniffed softly.
“What are you doing?” Saito asked.
“My daily routine—checking my dear Ani-kun’s scent,” replied Shisei.
“I wish you wouldn’t make that a daily routine,” quipped Saito.
“It’s important! I have to make sure you haven’t been entranced by some weird woman,” Shisei insisted.
“You can’t tell if someone is weird just by their scent,” Saito pointed out.
“I can. For instance, if they smell like rotting flesh, they’re a zombie,” responded Shisei.
“I’m not into dating zombies,” Saito clarified. He suddenly found himself worried Shisei would pick up on Akane’s scent.
It wouldn’t be a problem if Shisei figured it out, but with the whole class watching, it would be a disaster if she accidentally blurted something out. Just in case, Saito positioned his hand in front of Shisei’s face, ready to clamp her mouth shut at a moment’s notice. He was prepared to cut off her air supply if it became necessary. But instead of showing any wariness, Shisei simply sniffed at his hand with curiosity.
“Bacon and eggs, seaweed salad with onion dressing, corn soup, and cheese toast… That’s what you smell like.”
“How do you even know that? I washed my hands,” Saito marveled.
“Washing your hands is pointless. The essence of bacon and eggs has seeped into your very bloodstream,” declared Shisei.
“No way…” Saito sniffed his own hand in disbelief, but all he could smell was soap. Shisei’s powers of deduction were terrifying.
Puffing out her flat chest with pride, Shisei announced: “There’s only one possible conclusion here: You’re dating a woman made of bacon and eggs.”
“Swing and a miss, Shisei.” Realizing how foolish he’d been to worry, Saito let out a relieved sigh.
“I want to eat bacon and eggs too. I, Shise, should visit Ani-kun’s house sometime—right around mealtime,” she insisted.
“Don’t plan an ambush,” Saito replied sternly.
“If you refuse, I’ll just take my bacon and eggs by force.”
Shisei adopted a fighting stance, but her fists were so tiny that there was no way anybody would consider her a threat. Even an elementary schooler could probably defeat her with ease.
“You’re just hungry, aren’t you, Shisei? Did you skip breakfast?”
“I ate properly. But your smell makes me hungry all over again, Ani-kun.”
Drooling slightly, Shisei licked her lips.
“Quit looking at me like you’re about to devour me.”
“I won’t. Somehow, I’m able to comprehend that Ani-kun isn’t food.”
Despite her words, Shisei suddenly sank her teeth into Saito’s neck.
“Liar! Get a grip!”
Saito tried to pry her off, but Shisei clung to him like a cursed doll, determined to devour him. The girls in the class, eyes gleaming with excitement, swarmed toward them.
“If you’re hungry, I’ll give you a snack!”
“Do you like marshmallows?”
“I’ve got pudding too!”
“Maybe you prefer dried sardines, Shisei-chan?”
“I have some limited-edition gourmet cat food!”
…Their offerings clearly suggested that they saw Shisei as some kind of pet.
“Aaaaah…” Shisei let out a helpless cry as she was washed away by the tide of girls. But in the end, it seemed like a win-win situation—the girls got to dote on their adorable living plushie, and Shisei got fed. A perfectly balanced exchange.
Saito took a deep breath and packed away his textbooks. Thanks to Shisei and her gaggle of admirers, the classroom was too noisy, so he decided to step out into the hallway for some peace and quiet.
The brilliant blue sky stretched out endlessly, completely clear. A gentle breeze drifted in through the windows, carrying the scent of flowers in with it. It was so relaxing that a yawn crept up on him. Just then, Himari arrived at school.
“Good morning, Saito-kun!”
“Morning. You’re full of energy as always,” greeted Saito, giving Himari a small nod.
“Akane told me that you got a perfect score on yesterday’s quiz, Saito-kun. You’re really smart! I really respect you, especially since I’m kind of an idiot,” said Himari.
“Good. Respect me. Worship me as your superior,” quipped Saito, raising a thumb in mock confidence.
“Ha ha! That weird side of you is kind of great,” Himari smiled.
“Weird, huh? Me? If you were talking about Shisei, I’d get it, but…” responded Saito.
“You’re weird too, Saito-kun. You’re smart, but at the same time, you don’t really pick up on anything around you. To be honest, you’re kind of dense.”
Himari grinned mischievously and leaned in closer to peer into Saito’s face. Maybe it was because of her easygoing nature, but she had no sense of personal space. Himari’s hair was almost brushing up against him.
“Can you back up a little?” pleaded Saito.
“Oh? What’s this? Is the great Saito-kun getting flustered?”
“Not at all,” said Saito.
“You totally are. Well, you are a guy, after all,” Himari teased Saito.
“I said I’m not flustered!”
“Ha ha, I’m kidding, I’m kidding! See you later!”
Himari laughed as she headed into the classroom, leaving Saito feeling emotionally drained. He was fine hanging out with Himari as friends, but he wasn’t great at dealing with her teasing. As he sighed, Akane approached. Her footsteps were sharp and deliberate, her brows furrowed in irritation. Uh-oh, is she about to pick a fight with me?
Saito instinctively braced himself—he didn’t have the energy to deal with more nonsense this early in the morning. But instead of speaking, Akane silently lowered her head and tugged at his sleeve, her grip weak but insistent.
“What’s wrong?” Saito blinked in confusion.
For a split second, it seemed like everything had returned to the same old, same old for Akane and Saito. But something was different this time.
Lately, something about Akane’s attitude had changed. Blushing furiously, she mumbled in an embarrassed whisper:
“You know…you shouldn’t be getting too close to other girls when you already have a wife.”
Lately, I can’t help but find my wife unbearably cute.