Chapter 4:
My Wife
THE SCHOOL LIBRARY HAD A UNIQUE ATMOSPHERE thanks to the blend of the scent of worn-out books and aged wooden shelves. Unlike the noisy classrooms and hallways, the library was a sanctuary, completely isolated from the chaos of the outside world.
In this quiet, almost otherworldly space, Saito crouched in front of a bookshelf and locked himself in an intense stare-down with the tomes.
“This is it!” Saito’s voice lifted with excitement as he finally found the passage he had been searching for. Just then—
“Guess who?”
A pair of hands suddenly covered his eyes from behind. That in itself wasn’t an issue—the problem was that the hands were soaking wet. Water dripped down his face, trickling all the way to his chin.
“There’s only one person who would pull this kind of ridiculous stunt—Shisei, it’s you, isn’t it?” Saito responded calmly.
“Wow! Ani-kun, you really get me!”
Shisei pulled her hands away, looking impressed.
“I don’t get you at all. I have no idea why you’d do something like this,” said Saito.
“I wanted to help cure your dry eye syndrome. Shise is so kind, right?”
Her prideful, puffed-chest pose contrasted starkly with her usual blank expression.
“Honestly…it’s more of a nuisance than a kindness,” Saito said.
“This is exactly what’s wrong with modern people. No gratitude,” Shisei philosophized.
“It’d be the same no matter whether the people were modern or ancient. Besides, you’re going to get the books wet.”
Saito sighed, setting his open book back onto the shelf before it could suffer any further water damage. He didn’t carry anything as fancy as a handkerchief on him, so he reached into Shisei’s uniform pocket, pulled out hers, and helped her wipe her hands off. Shisei, as usual, didn’t react—her expression remained blank, as if her brain was completely devoid of thought.
“What were you reading?” Shisei probed, proceeding to pull the book from the shelf herself to read the title.
“Building Communication Skills from Zero.”
Shisei placed a hand on Saito’s head and gave it a light pat.
“Perfect for my communication-zero brother. Do your best, Ani-kun.”
“Not very convincing coming from someone who has zero friends,” Saito quipped.
“I, Shise, do not have zero friends. I have plenty of people who take care of me. Many guardians, you know.”
“So…they’re not your friends after all!” Saito pointed out.
“The other day, a girl from my class tried to give me some allowance money, so I…” Shisei looked at Saito’s face and added, “…refused…”
Saito saw through Shisei’s obvious lie.
“You’ve gotta give her her money back!”
Shisei shook her head.
“Can’t. I already spent it. Used up the whole ten thousand yen in a day.”
“What the hell did you even spend ten thousand yen on?!” Saito was stunned.
“Steamed meat buns,” Shisei replied.
“How many steamed meat buns would that even be?!”
Saito suddenly felt an overwhelming degree of concern for Shisei’s future. This waif of a girl had the ability to charm people—regardless of age and gender. If she ever figured out how to exploit that charm, it would be dangerous.
Shisei casually plopped down onto the carpet on the library floor, stretching out her white-tights-clad legs. She held up the book, inspecting it intently as if it were some kind of ancient relic.
“Surprising. I didn’t think you cared about your lack of communication skills, Ani-kun.”
“It’s not that. I just think this could help improve my relationship with Akane,” explained Saito.
“It’d be easier to just brainwash her,” said Shisei.
“I’d rather not use methods that completely disregard personal autonomy,” retorted Saito.
“It wouldn’t be. I’m sure Akane would want it too,” replied Shisei.
“And what exactly do you know about Akane?” Saito inquired.
“That she can emit ultrasonic waves from her nose to annihilate her enemies?” Shisei answered.
“…That’s…definitely not the Akane I know,” Saito muttered quietly.
Akane was a no-nonsense girl. Saito knew that if he resorted to underhanded or manipulative tactics, the trust they were finally starting to build would vanish instantly—likely forever.
“So, did the book help, Ani-kun?”
Saito took the book back from Shisei.
“Yeah. It says that a good way to strengthen a sense of connection with others is through shared activities. So basically, I just need to do more stuff together with Akane,” Saito recited.
“Do stuff together? Like…hmm…destroying the world?” said Shisei.
“Again, Akane isn’t some kind of biological weapon,” Saito replied.
“How about…transcribing Buddhist sutras?” Shisei suggested.
“How is transcribing Buddhist scriptures together supposed to help a married couple connect? Best case, we’d just reach a state of complete nothingness,” Saito pointed out.
Shisei pressed her hands together in a prayerlike gesture.
“Maybe you’d both reach enlightenment and ascend together.”
“I’d rather not die just yet.”
Though his marriage had felt like a battlefield at times, there were finally some glimpses of hope for Saito’s future. He had to capitalize on this opportunity and make some real progress. Shisei gave a solemn nod.
“I understand, Ani-kun.”
Then, with a completely straight face, she continued: “I’ll go rob a bank. That way, you and Akane can team up to stop me. The adrenaline from the crisis will trigger the suspension bridge effect, and her affection for you will skyrocket.”
“Isn’t that a bit excessive?!”
Saito immediately shut down his reckless cousin’s idea. Come to think about it, even if Shisei did attempt a robbery, the tellers probably wouldn’t take her seriously. There was honestly a decent chance they’d just give her some allowance money and send her on her way.
Akane held her textbooks and stationery tight to her chest as she walked to science class. It was hard to tell whether she was just being careful not to drop them or if she was guarding against potential thieves. Either way, her defensive posture was obvious. Saito waited for the crowd to thin out before approaching her.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Saito asked.
“What is it? Please don’t talk to me much at school.”
Akane punctuated her curt reply with a sharp glare—an expression far removed from what one would expect between husband and wife. Saito had thought their relationship had softened a little, but clearly, he was mistaken. If anything, she seemed even more distant than before. If she was this cold to him now, she might not be receptive to his suggestion about doing something together.
“Um…are you busy after school today?”
“Yes. I have to go home and study.”
“I meant like, do you have plans with friends or anything?” Saito asked.
“H-huh? No… Himari has work today,” Akane answered cautiously, her expression wary.
Saito cleared his throat.
“In that case…why don’t we meet up after school and go shopping together?”
“…”
Akane blinked at Saito, looking somewhat dazed. The meaning of his words hadn’t quite registered for her. For a moment, she just stared at him blankly. Then, suddenly…her entire face flushed bright red.
“W-wait, does that mean… Are you asking me out on a date?!”
Her voice shot up, drawing attention from the nearby students. Panic surged through Saito. Without thinking, he pulled Akane’s wrist and dragged her into the nearest empty classroom. Before she could protest any further, he clamped a hand over her mouth and pressed her against the wall, hidden from sight.
“Mmmph! Mmmph!”
Akane thrashed wildly, struggling to break free. But Saito wasn’t letting go. Their classmates strolled down the hallway, chatting idly as they passed by. If they overheard any commotion, it would turn into a huge issue. Saito waited until the voices faded into the distance before finally releasing Akane.
“Puh—!”
Akane gasped for air, her eyes watery as she hugged herself defensively.
“P-pervert! Dragging a girl into a dark, empty room and forcing yourself on her like this—!”
“It’s not dark, and I didn’t force anything,” Saito replied, defending himself.
“You’re about to! You’ve got that ‘Heh heh…time to ensure our family’s future. Grandpa already gave me the go-ahead, so there’s no holding back now—cry all you want, no one’s coming to save you’ look on your face!” exclaimed Akane.
“Do I even have enough space on my face to fit that entire phrase? And for the record, you forced my hand by calling it a date!” Saito retorted.
Akane tried to bolt for the hallway, but Saito quickly stepped in, blocking her escape.