“The only thing it’s missing is love,” said Shisei.
“Love?” Saito was dumbfounded.
“Yeah. Gently whisper in her ear, ‘I love you so much,’” said Shisei.
“I can’t possibly say that, Shise!” Saito objected.
“Well in that case, you’ll never completely master the princess carry. Don’t you trust me?” Shisei gave Saito a reproachful stare. Saito gritted his back teeth. Even though it was just practice, he had never been very good at spouting saccharine words. He was the one who had sought advice though, so it was only proper to follow it.
Saito brought his mouth close to Shisei’s ear and, trying to ignore his embarrassment, whispered softly, “I love you.”
“…”
Shisei’s ears turned red.
“Ah, so even you get embarrassed sometimes, huh?” Saito said.
“Of course I do—I’m still a maiden, after all.”
“Sorry, I only just found that out,” Saito replied, suddenly finding himself feeling the full awkwardness of the situation.
“Next, say, ‘I want everything you are to belong to me,’” commanded Shisei.
“I want everything you are to belong to me.”
“Next, say, ‘I won’t let you sleep tonight,’” commanded Shisei.
“I won’t let you sleep tonight.”
“…Ani-kun, you pervert… Eeek!” Shisei exclaimed, face-palming.
“You were the one who told me to say it!”
Saito also noticed his own cheeks were burning red. Two people who had grown up as close as siblings should not be used to doing things like this.
Shisei traced her lips with her finger—her gesture somehow carried a hint of seductiveness. She looked up at Saito with pleading eyes and said, “Next, on Shise’s lips…”
“Aaaahhh!”
A scream rang out from nearby.
When Saito looked up, he saw Himari standing there, eyes wide.
“Did I…interrupt you two?”
“No, I’m just practicing…” Saito tried to explain, but Shisei just nodded, looking smug.
“Yes, you did. Ani-kun has a habit of giving me princess carries whenever I want.”
“She’s going to get the wrong idea!” Saito scolded.
Saito attempted to push her away, but Shisei clung on harder, determined never to let go. She was using the full strength of all her limbs, and her suction power made her feel like some kind of piggyback ghost.
“…I don’t really understand this… I’ve gotta find Akane,” said Himari.
“Wait! Please, just wait!”
With all his might, Saito chased after Himari, who had dashed away.
When Saito returned home, Akane was standing in the foyer with her arms folded, looking imposing. Still in her school uniform, her expression had grown even more severe. With deep elevens etched between her brows, she fixed a gaze on Saito that could bore a hole through a boulder.
“I’m home.”
“…”
Akane ignored Saito’s greeting. There was no opening here—she didn’t seem particularly open to receiving a princess carry. Any careless movement on Saito’s part might be viewed as an attack and result in a shoulder throw courtesy of Akane. Shisei had advised Saito to understand Akane’s feelings and compromise with her, but there wasn’t even a moment to try. All he could tell was that she was incredibly angry.
Saito planned to retreat to his own room and work on his new strategy.
Suddenly, just as he passed by Akane, she shouted, “Wait!”
Akane seized Saito’s arm with a grip so fierce it could crush bone.
“Have you finally decided to kill me?” Saito asked.
“Not yet,” said Akane.
“So what are you planning?”
Saito had no idea but it couldn’t be anything good. Saito frantically searched for an escape route, already regretting that he’d locked the front door behind him.
Still holding on to his arm, Akane murmured softly, “…Let’s talk…”
“Huh?” Saito was stunned.
“…I said…let’s have a discussion,” said Akane.
“Divorce negotiations?” Saito gulped heavily.
“No, not that—I meant, I want to work out how to salvage our marriage. I want us to try and learn how to get along.” Akane looked down and bit her lip. She was clearly at her wit’s end—her neck had even flushed red. Saito never expected to hear words like those coming from Akane. After all, the clashes had been a constant part of their relationship ever since they’d met.
“Do you really want to get along with me?” Saito asked.
“Not particularly, but if we keep going like this, we’ll end up divorced,” Akane muttered.
“That’d be a problem for both of us,” agreed Saito.
“Right?”
“Okay, let’s calm down and talk,” Saito suggested. If they stayed like this any longer, his arm might become permanently disabled.
The pair entered the living room. Akane made some tea and set a pair of stylish cups and saucers on the table. She also served some strawberry crepes generously topped with whipped cream. They appeared to be homemade—perhaps she had prepared them in advance for our discussion, Saito thought. Facing Akane directly, Saito had a dumb thought: This feels like a home visit. The situation felt so unreal that his mind began to wander to trivial things.
Akane clasped her hands on her lap.
“Listen… I truly hate you, but since we’re forced to be together anyway, we might as well make it comfortable.”
“Agreed. I don’t want to live in hell either.”
“You’re saying that life with me is hell? That’s pretty rude,” Akane fumed.
“Am I wrong?” asked Saito.
“Hmm… No, you’ve got a point.” She lowered her gaze in frustration.
“There’s just no way I can feel comfortable with you around, Houjou-san. I don’t know what to do…”
“Should I carry you like a princess?” Saito proposed.
“Huh? Why the hell would you do that?” Akane looked at him with utter disgust.
Yeah, there’s no way that’d work, Shise.
Saito made a mental note to file a complaint with his wise advisor.
Humans have a natural sense of personal space. If you suddenly find yourself in close quarters with someone whose emotional wavelength is miles away from yours, of course, everyone will be on their guard. That said, the fact that Akane proposed a discussion represented some very real progress. Since she took the first step toward compromise, Saito felt he had to respond with sincerity as well.
“All right then, how about we set some ground rules to help keep the peace?” Saito proposed.
“Rules?” Akane seemed perplexed.
“Setting regulations isn’t about right and wrong—it’s about finding common ground to help people with different values coexist. If we can establish boundaries we both agree on and follow them, we should be able to avoid unnecessary conflicts,” stated Saito.
“I see…You might actually be decently smart,” snickered Akane.
“Don’t talk to me like you’re praising a monkey.” He was the undisputed champion at the top of his class, but the patronizing tone still hurt a little bit.
“Let’s start with dividing up the chores. Ever since we got married, I feel like I’ve been doing all of them,” Akane started.
“I was just planning to do the housework all at once when things start to pile up. It’s more efficient that way,” objected Saito.
Akane slammed her hand on the table.
“If you let the dishes pile up, we’ll get bugs!”
“In nature, bugs are a normal part of life,” Saito protested.
“Sure, but we’re not in the wild now, are we?” Akane exclaimed, continuing on. “The bigger issue is that leaving dirty dishes out will also breed bacteria, which leads to illness. I get that it’s a hassle, but dishes need to be cleaned daily.”
Akane stood firm. She gripped the table, hissing like an angry cat. This was clearly something she refused to compromise on. That meant, for the sake of peace, Saito would have to be the one to yield here.
“…Fine. I’ll make sure to wash the dishes right after I use them.”
“Really? That’d help me out a lot.”
Akane sounded almost caught off guard. Maybe she hadn’t expected Saito to give in so easily.
“Is there anything I can do to help you in return?” Akane asked Saito.
“You’re actually willing to hear me out?” Saito was deeply moved.
“I’m not unreasonable—if you ask me something sensible, I’ll listen! Don’t make me sound like some kind of stubborn fool,” replied Akane.