I’m probably just tired, Ryuuko told herself. It had been a long, eventful day—so eventful, in fact, that when she thought back, she couldn’t even remember what all had happened.
Her breathing was ragged. Maybe she was walking with too broad of a stride. She swung her arms vigorously as she proceeded along the empty hallway. It was like she was making a show of how briskly she could walk. Nobody was watching her, but she was showing off anyway. Showing off to no one at all.
When she eventually came to a stop, Ryuuko was more out of breath than she’d thought she would be. She stooped forward and planted her hands on her knees. She stayed that way for some time; her head felt like it was spinning. Her stomach hurt, too. It wasn’t the sort of pain that preceded a rushed trip to the restroom. Her stomach and intestines felt heavy, like they’d been petrified. Ryuuko had forced herself to eat lunch, but now she regretted it. Her stomach was churning. She wanted to vomit but knew that even if she tried, she wouldn’t be able to.
Ryuuko’s pouch was trembling. Chinu was thrashing around inside of it.
“I’m sorry, Chinu,” she said. Now that Chinu had grown, the red pouch was too small for her. It must be unbearably cramped. “I have to go to the nurse’s office, though…”
Why “though”? What was the alternative? Ryuuko wasn’t sure. She just knew that she had to keep walking. She’d never reach the nurse’s office otherwise.
Ryuuko had only realized she wasn’t feeling well around the start of afternoon lessons. She simply hadn’t had time to focus on herself until then. Before, she had been too intent upon talking with the transfer student, Monika Asahi. But that had proven quite difficult on account of her being an incredibly unapproachable person.
Then again, maybe she just seemed unapproachable. She’d transferred in very abruptly, so maybe she simply wasn’t prepared for the change in environment. Or maybe she just had a hard time opening up to people. Ryuuko knew that coping with a brand-new school would be easier for Asahi if she had a friend by her side, but then again, maybe she simply had no interest in others. There were all sorts of people and personalities out there. Surely some people genuinely enjoyed being alone. Maybe Ryuuko’s attempt to befriend Monika was just projection, and Asahi would only find her efforts annoying.
The turning point came during the afternoon break. Asahi had left the classroom during lunch—ignoring Mr. Harimoto’s attempts to stop her—and Ryuuko had gone out to search for her after finishing her meal. For some reason, the very first place she’d thought to check was the school’s courtyard.
Ryuuko hadn’t really thought about it when Tobi made his usual escape with Baku and his bread roll. But when Asahi had abandoned her lunch and left the classroom not long after, a thought had crossed Ryuuko’s mind: Slight delay aside, hadn’t it seemed like Asahi was chasing after Tobi? Ryuuko didn’t have a concrete reason to believe that was the case, but she couldn’t shake the impression.
And lo and behold, when she arrived at the courtyard, Ryuuko found both of them present—and shockingly enough, they were seated on the same bench. They weren’t close enough to be sitting together per se. The benches in the courtyard were broad enough to fit four people or even five if they squeezed in. Tobi and Asahi, meanwhile, were seated on opposite ends of their bench. It looked like they’d just happened to pick the same place to sit. Or it would have if that had been the only bench in the courtyard. However, there were several benches, and all the other ones were vacant. If Asahi had sat anywhere else, she could have had a whole bench to herself.
What do you think that means? Ryuuko silently asked Chinu, who was hidden away in her pouch. Chinu didn’t reply, of course. Unlike Baku, she couldn’t speak.
Ryuuko could have just walked up to the pair and said hello. She could have started with Tobi, then casually introduced herself to Asahi as well, seeing as she happened to be sitting nearby. She could have asked all sorts of questions. Where had Asahi lived before her transfer? Was there anything bothering her at the moment? All sorts of things. And if Asahi hadn’t been receptive to conversation, Ryuuko could have simply apologized and backed off. It wouldn’t have been difficult at all. And yet Ryuuko simply hadn’t been able to bring herself to go through with it.
Moreover, she was having a hard time understanding Asahi’s relationship with Tobi. That was making her anxious, too. They were sitting on the same bench, but they didn’t look particularly close. Maybe that was a given, seeing as Asahi had only just transferred in, but there was always a chance they’d gone to the same elementary school or something. On the other hand, the fact that they weren’t saying much made it hard to believe they were old friends. But on the other hand, they were talking. Every once in a while, they’d exchange a few words. But that was it.
Maybe they really were acquaintances. Not close ones and not friends—just two people who happened to have a passing familiarity with each other. Then again, Tobi hardly talked to his own classmates. In fact, he rarely even looked them in the eye. The fact that he was talking at all seemed pretty significant. So maybe they were close, after all.
Asking Asahi didn’t feel like an option. Ryuuko knew her as Class 2-3’s newest student, but Asahi probably hadn’t even registered Ryuuko’s existence yet. She could, however, ask Tobi. If he were alone, she could simply walk up and say, “Are you and Asahi acquainted?” just like that. If the other girl wasn’t sitting next to him, that is. Why was Tobi still sitting with her?
Tobi, for his part, seemed to have noticed Ryuuko loitering by the door. Considering the number of times he’d glanced in her direction, there was no way he hadn’t seen her.
That’s right, Ryuuko thought. I started feeling ill while I was thinking in circles in the courtyard.
Ryuuko had returned to her classroom about five minutes before the afternoon break ended. By that point in time, she’d already felt distinctly strange. She’d been looking forward to her social studies lesson, but once it started, she found herself unable to focus. Was she sick? No, she told herself, that can’t be. Illnesses stem from the mind, as they say. I’m just imagining it. I felt perfectly fine this morning, after all. It’s been a busy day. I just tired myself out.
I can’t believe I ended up so mentally fatigued, I started feeling ill and had to go to the nurse’s office. That’s so shameful. I’m shameful.
Before she knew it, Ryuuko had come to a halt partway down the staircase.
I couldn’t even focus properly on my lesson. I made my teacher worry about me. I’m a bad kid. I’m useless. A useless child. That must be why. That’s why I—