“This is bad. At this rate, it might turn into an actual case…”
Itsuya Haizaki had gone to work that morning, just like he always did. The janitor’s room was perfectly organized, without so much as a single piece of stray trash on the floor, and he’d just picked up the watering can he kept on his desk. He was ready to get to work anytime. He couldn’t have been more prepared.
“What now? Oh, geez, this is bad,” Haizaki muttered as he sat down in his folding chair. “Wait, no! This is no time to be sitting!” he yelped a second later, shooting back upright. “This is bad. Really bad. Really, really bad. What was I thinking…? ‘I’m planning on doing everything I possibly can’? ‘Give me a shout if you ever need anything’? I can’t believe I had the nerve to say any of that. Way to be a show-off! Yeah—that’s all I was doing. I got cocky, acting like I was some kinda badass. What a joke. This is exactly my problem, I swear. I act like a big ol’ poser, but then when all’s said and done, I don’t even have the guts to contact the chief…”
Haizaki paced restlessly around the janitor’s room. His partner, the weasel-like zingai Olver, poked his head out from under Haizaki’s desk.
“Is that even an option? Can I just call him up and say I want back in to Special Affairs? Would he let me? Could I just bow and beg to take my old job again? Hmm. Do I even want to do that? A comeback? Me? Really? Could I pull that off? They already decided I’m dead weight not fit for fieldwork, right? Isn’t that why they shuffled me off to General Affairs?”
Haizaki dropped his watering can onto his desk with a thud, and Olver scurried back underneath.
“Ahh…!” Haizaki groaned, running his hands through his hair. “I am so not cut out for General Affairs! I can’t handle stuff like coordinating and negotiating! That must be why the chief transferred me there to begin with. He was trying to make me quit on my own! He was soft firing me, basically. What’s a guy like me supposed to accomplish now? I have to do something, though. Those kids still have a future. Someone has to protect them. But how? Ugh, this is so bad…”
Haizaki put both hands down on his desk and nodded to himself. He repeated the gesture over and over, muttering, “I know,” each time. “This isn’t getting me anywhere. If I could solve this problem by stressing out, it would’ve been over ages ago. First things first: work. Gotta do my job. That’s the ticket—I’m a white-collar worker with full-time employment, and I need to take care of that before anything else!”
At that very moment—the instant Haizaki picked up his watering can once more—the cell phone on his desk began to vibrate.
“Bwaugh?!” Haizaki jumped into the air and pressed a hand to his chest. “O-ohhh god, that scared me. What the heck? Is this harassment? Gotta be. My own phone’s harassing me. Really, a call…? Who’d be phoning me up first thing in the morning?”
Haizaki put the watering can down again and picked up his phone. The number on the screen wasn’t familiar. It was a mobile number, but he’d never seen it before. Timidly, he picked up.
“…Hello? Can I help you?”
“Oh, is that you, Haizaki?” said a masculine voice. The speaker sounded rather old.
“Umm… Yes, it is…,” Haizaki replied.
“It’s me. You know, me!”
“Sorry, but I don’t know a ‘me,’” said Haizaki. The mystery caller was obviously messing with him, and Haizaki couldn’t resist the impulse to sass him back.
“Huh?”
“…Forget it. So, uh, who is this…?”
“It’s Kudou. Does that ring a bell?”
“Ch-Chief…?!”
“Not your chief. Not anymore anyway. You’d better pick a new name for me.”
Come to think of it, Haizaki did recognize this teasing, roundabout way of speaking.
It was Kudou—Keiki Kudou, the section chief of the Special Affairs Response Office’s Management Division, which, in turn, was part of the Cabinet Intelligence and Research Office. In other words, he was Itsuya Haizaki’s former boss.
“Sooo, Haizaki,” said Kudou. Haizaki could picture his long, slender face with incredible clarity. His faint, mocking smile and the way he’d pick wax out of his ear with his little finger as he spoke. “I hear you’ve gotten a nice new gig for yourself, haven’t you?”
“…Well, umm… Yes,” said Haizaki. “Thanks for asking…”
“A middle school, was it? And here I was, thinking you’d end up working at a host club or whatever. I was sure you’d wind up in a bar or something like that.”
“A-a host club…? I don’t think so. I’m too old for that kind of thing…”
“Oh, don’t talk yourself down! If you’re an old man, then what does that make me? You know, this is exactly your problem, Haizaki. You’re sociable, friendly, and have a way with words, but at the end of the day, you’re just too darn insensitive to stick the landing.”
“…Sorry.”
“Oh, I’m just messing with you! It was a joke! Honestly, I’ll never get over how weirdly serious you are, considering you look like such a shallow flirt.”
“Is that really how you see me?”
“As being weirdly serious? It sure is. Not a compliment, by the way.”
“I guess not…”
“There you go again—I was kidding! Humor’s important, you know? Right?”
Though he was a government official who’d graduated from the University of Tokyo, one of Japan’s most prestigious schools, Kudou was anything but pretentious. He was casual—so easygoing he seemed almost aloof—and loved to crack jokes. He never raised his voice when talking to subordinates, but according to persistent rumors, he was also the last person you wanted to piss off. Kudou was a master at maneuvering and making backroom deals and showed no mercy to those who caused trouble in his territory. The fact that he was unmarried and had no particular interest in climbing the social ladder meant he had a wealth of ways to give people a very hard time with little fear of reprisal. That was what Haizaki had heard anyway.
Kudou was a strange man—an enigma—and despite his friendly attitude and glib tongue, he never seemed to tell the truth. From the moment they met to the day Haizaki quit his job at Special Affairs, he’d never liked the man.
“So, umm, did you need something, uh…Mr. Kudou?” asked Haizaki.
“Oh! Right, of course.” Kudou paused to let out a quick laugh.
Kudou’s laughter always sounded mocking, and Haizaki found it just as irritating as the man’s personality. To be blunt, it annoyed the hell out of him. Kudou probably knew exactly what he was doing, too. He was probably irritating him on purpose.
“You’re right, I do need something. I wouldn’t phone you just to catch up, would I? I’m a little too busy for that. I’m guessing you’re the same, right? You’ve gotten a fresh start on life. Working hard at your new job. I’m sure they’re keeping you as busy as a bee, aren’t they?”
“…You could say that.”
“Well then, Haizaki. Don’t stick your neck out for our sake, all right? Stay in your lane.”
A chill had suffused Kudou’s voice. It was a subtle change, and Haizaki was sure the guy still had the same smile as before plastered on his face. Haizaki’s breath caught in his throat. It felt like the blade of a knife was being held up to one of his eyeballs.