The next day, November 11th, Monday.
Lin Li headed to the classroom.
Double Eleven, another year's e-commerce festival, but Lin Li didn't buy anything.
The value of Double Eleven nowadays is really getting lower and lower.
Double Eleven used to be genuinely discounted, especially in the second year after the event was launched. If you really wanted to buy something, you had to snatch it.
At that time, Lin Li even suspected that this e-commerce festival might be a conspiracy fueled by cannibals, just to make everyone chop off their hands.
(Translator's Note: "Chop off hands" is Chinese internet slang for uncontrollable online shopping).
KFC's Crazy Double Eleven, V me a hand.
(Translator's Note: A parody of the "Crazy Thursday, V me 50" meme).
But today's Double Eleven, heh, original price 598, deposit reduces 148, store discount 50 off 500, cross-store discount 30 off 300, member exclusive 20 off 200, pre-order for another 20% off, a little sow wearing a bra set after set of traps, buying something is like doing a math problem.
It would be fine if it were a real discount.
Finally getting this 598 thing for two hundred, feeling pretty good about it, but then checking the price history and finding out it was priced at two hundred in October, and was specially raised to 598 before Double Eleven just to be discounted.
Seeing this result, he immediately behaved.
But there aren't that many discounts in the world. The wool comes from the sheep, and the nature of businessmen is to seek profit.
Remember, as long as you can read, you will know that "capitalist" (zi ben jia), none of them are human. But "capital" (zi) presses down on people, "root" (ben) frames people, and there are no people in "home" (jia).
(Translator's Note: Analyzing the Chinese characters for "capitalist" to show they exploit people).
This is a capitalist, they would rather pour milk away than sell it cheaply.
In this world, there are indeed products whose cost price is a genuine 799, and without any tricks, you can buy them for 79.9 now. But Lin Li generally calls them "stocks".
Of course, the low price of a stock doesn't mean a discount; you never know if it has hit the bottom.
It dropped? Good opportunity, buy the dip!
It dropped again? I'm going to make a fortune, I'll buy more!
Still dropping! I have a premonition it can't drop any further, keep buying!
Hehe, it really didn't drop, but this fucking stock got delisted, lost everything, I'll fuck your mom!
Stock investors know best: below the bottom there's a basement, below the basement there's a cellar, below the cellar there's the earth's crust, below the earth's crust there's hell. Remember, hell fucking has eighteen levels.
So, what bullshit e-commerce festival, now it's just an ordinary Singles' Day. On this day, singles should just jerk off their single sticks and be done with it.
Lin Li looked at the system.
After school last night, he still rode his bike to Laoyou Road for a spin. Although the purpose had changed, he still gained nothing.
Today is a new week, and the system update didn't show anything special. He didn't know what was updated, and the two extra buttons that appeared at the beginning of the month still had unknown functions.
And Lin Li hadn't used the refresh opportunity given this week yet.
The current five commodity slots are "Random Quality Spirit Stone", "Luck Talisman", "Seven-Colored Treasure Garment", "Ability Amplifier (+2)", and "Life Extension Pill".
Although the spiritual liquid accumulated in a few hours in the cultivation world has a spiritual energy content close to half a month's output of the "Spirit Spring", from an efficiency perspective, the "Random Quality Spirit Stone" is currently meaningless to Lin Li, and it wouldn't be a pity to discard it.
But the problem is, Lin Li can't guarantee that he can still go to the cultivation world next month. Who knows what kind of tricks this damn system will play.
Currently, there are no signs of the all-female mecha world, maybe the world he goes to next month will become this one.
So, before confirming that he has a stable way to go to the cultivation world, Lin Li felt it was necessary to keep a source of spiritual energy for himself.
If one day he can't go to the cultivation world, the spiritual liquid is used up, and there is no spiritual energy, then his cultivation will come to an end.
At that time, the cost of gambling on a refresh might be even higher.
The "Ability Amplifier" and "Life Extension Pill" are things Lin Li doesn't need now, but might buy in the future.
So Lin Li's idea is to ask Daoist Shanqing if he has heard of the magic treasure "Seven-Colored Treasure Garment" after going to the cultivation world mid-week.
Daoist Shanqing highly approves of the system's cultivation methods, but treats his own magic treasures like trash. At that time, if Daoist Shanqing knows this magic treasure, he will ask about its value. If the value is high, he can consider saving up to exchange for one; if he hasn't heard of it, he'll just refresh it.
"Yo, isn't this Wang Ze? Why are you so late today? You're actually not in the classroom listening to Bufan's unofficial history at this time?"
Approaching the Senior One teaching building, Lin Li saw Wang Ze preparing to go upstairs, so he raised his hand to greet him.
"Ah… Mondays are like this," Wang Ze yawned, took the breakfast from Lin Li with one hand, and weakly clenched his fist with the other to chant:
"Monday, Monday, my spirit goes west~ Next Monday, my seventh day after death~"
"Jingles, I know them too?" Hearing this, Lin Li snapped his fingers and also started chanting: "Monday, Monday~ dying breath~ want to grab a pen~ damn it, stab everyone in the world and explode with this world, fuck!"
Lin Li's first three sentences were still cadenced, rhythmic like shouting slogans, but the fourth sentence immediately became ferocious in emotion and extremely fast in speech, without any pause.
Wang Ze: "?"
"Full marks for emotion, zero marks for rhyme." Wang Ze scolded with a smile, then sighed resentfully:
"Tell me, why didn't I sleep beautifully for over ten hours on Saturday and Sunday nights? Now look, I have to wait until this weekend for the next time."
"People are like this. When playing, they play happily, and when they wake up, it's 'fuck, why did I play so happily before', completely unable to understand themselves." Lin Li smiled and shrugged.
Saying that if given another chance, they definitely wouldn't do it again.
In reality, doing it again would be 'hehe, if I don't play happily now, when will I? Sleep my ass, get up and party'.
"It's hard for people to empathize with each other, but it's quite easy for people to empathize with animals. Even I am gradually understanding the behavior of chickens waking up early every day and starting to scream." Wang Ze sighed softly.
"Is it because a customer secretly left in the middle of the night after putting on their pants without paying you?" Lin Li asked.
"Which chicken are you fucking talking about," Wang Ze pointed at him like a husky, energized for a moment, then wilted again:
"Why is it only Monday? I want to die, I want to die, I want to die. It's so long until the weekend, so long until New Year's Day, so long until winter vacation...
Why does it feel like these days are like Xiahou Dun looking at Louis XVI, no end in sight... I want to die, I want to die, I want to die..."
Nowadays, many people say that contemporary students have no goals at all.
Are you kidding! After National Day, the goal is Mid-Autumn Festival, after Mid-Autumn Festival, the goal is New Year's Day, after New Year's Day, the goal is winter vacation!
The goals for each stage are simply very clear.
"So full of vitality, how nice~" Hearing such a voice, Lin Li looked at Wang Ze with a kind gaze and sighed softly.
"?"
"Can you not read and reply randomly? I said I want to die, and you say I'm full of vitality?" Wang Ze raised a middle finger.
"Yeah, corpses don't want to die. Wanting to die is a privilege of the living, if that's not vitality, what is?" Lin Li asked back in surprise.
Wang Ze: "?"
"...Seems reasonable."
"But I don't recommend dying now. Reincarnating now, it's very easy to be born into a family trying for a third child." Lin Li added another sentence.
"Fuck, Lin Li, thank you. For the first time, my will to live is so strong." Wang Ze had lingering fears.
The two went upstairs together.
"How are things with your senior sister?" Walking with a bro, although being quiet wouldn't feel awkward, maintaining silence was impossible. Lin Li asked casually, "Have you grasped the present?"
"How could I let someone grasp my present so quickly? Fuck, my goal isn't that anyway. Can you not be such a creep!" Wang Ze said disdainfully.
Mentioning Qian Ying, Wang Ze was still a bit embarrassed, and chuckled:
"After the exams last week, everyone was going home. I asked her out to play this weekend staying at school, and she agreed. I'm thinking when we go out to play on the weekend, I'll see if there's a suitable moment to confess my feelings."
Lin Li blinked: "This week? Where are you going for a date? The night market over at Pinglu?"
"Haven't decided yet, but it should be that one. You know about it too?" Wang Ze nodded, then asked.
"Are you going on Friday or Saturday? If it's Saturday, we might run into each other." Lin Li smiled, then sighed seriously: "I can only say it's a coincidence, a real coincidence. Our 'Three People and One Dog' are also going there to play."
"You two are going too? Then I'll have to avoid you guys..." Wang Ze clicked his tongue.
In times of danger, you can rely on your bros, but in times of safety, your bros are the biggest danger. He was afraid these two guys would pull some stunt on him.
But then he asked: "Three People and One Dog, you, Bufan, and who are the other two? Chen Yuying and Ding Sihan?"
"Add Qu Wanqiu."
"Isn't that Four People and One Dog or Three People and Two Dogs?"
"Baby, you smell so good," Lin Li leaned in, pinched Wang Ze's rock-hard sports student butt, and said softly: "I'm neither a person nor a dog, I'm a 1."
Wang Ze's body paused, then he stopped going upstairs, instead stepped back down two steps, stood still and bent over, sticking his perky butt high up, using both hands to pull apart each cheek of his butt, turned his head and said gently:
"Here, bro, come on."
Lin Li: "?"
Your mom.
True, playing this gay routine in front of Wang Ze was indeed a bit like "showing off your dick in front of Lao Ai… teaching a fish how to swim."
"If I really let you in, you'd be unhappy again." Seeing Lin Li hesitating to enter, Wang Ze looked a bit disgusted.
Lin Li chuckled. It didn't matter, what enters the asshole can be something else.
"Thousand. Years. Of. Death."
"Fuck!!"
Second floor, at the classroom door.
"According to unofficial history, Sun Ce and Sun Quan looked extremely similar. After Sun Ce died, under Sun Quan's vigorous pursuit, Da Qiao also submitted to Sun Quan.
It's just that every night when they were enjoying themselves, Da Qiao would always call out the wrong name. Sun Ce's courtesy name was Bofu, and Sun Quan's courtesy name was Zhongmou. Therefore, Da Qiao would sometimes call out Bofu, and sometimes Zhongmou. This is the origin of 'not distinguishing between Bofu and Zhongmou' (evenly matched)!"
"Fuck, what kind of brother's wife marrying the younger brother is this, then Da Qiao must have felt very good."
"If you ask me, this problem is easy to solve. Just send Da Qiao to study abroad, and when she comes back, there won't be this annoyance, she'll only shout 'oh yes'.
I could even write a pure love novel, I've already thought of the title, 'The Sister-in-Law Who Returned from Studying in the West Sea, Her Moans Turned into Oh Yes'."
"Fuck, your title is even less pure love than mine yesterday, right? But I want to read it, love to read it, if the bookstore doesn't have it, I'll smash it."
Lin Li and Wang Ze exchanged a gratified look. Great, they didn't miss the most exciting part today.
"Teacher Bufan, Teacher Bufan, I have a question." Lin Li raised his hand and walked into the classroom.
"Ask." Bai Bufan was as serious as Xue Jian.
"Then how did the idiom 'between Bofu and Zhongmou' (evenly matched) come about?" Lin Li asked.
Everyone was stunned for a moment.
But an old artist is an old artist, extremely calm. Bai Bufan picked up the conversation almost without any hesitation:
"This is a good question. Other students should also have divergent thinking like student Lin Li. This happens to be what the teacher planned to teach in the next class. I originally planned to teach it tomorrow, but since you asked, I'll say it today.
According to unofficial history, after Da Qiao couldn't distinguish between Bofu and Zhongmou, she always felt guilty in her heart, missing her deceased husband. So afterwards, she would go with Sun Quan to burn paper money at Sun Ce's grave.
After the paper was burned, Da Qiao's guilt was gone, and Sun Quan's CD had cooled down. There is an old saying in the Three Kingdoms, 'since we're already here'. So the two looked at each other, and it was dry wood and fierce fire, between Bofu and Zhongmou.
Student Xiao Lin, do you understand."
"Fuck hahaha…"
"I thought you would say it was a threesome, but Bai Bufan, as expected of you, it's even more hellish than I imagined."
Lin Li laughed wildly and gave a thumbs up.
...
This week, Qu Wanqiu wasn't the only one who handed in her phone; Chen Tianming actually brought his too.
"Bai Bufan, I don't quite understand why you're doing this." During the break, Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan coldly and said without any emotion.
Bai Bufan didn't say a word, put the test paper that was half-explained in this class back into his personal locker in the back, and put a small lock on it.
"Bai Bufan! I need an explanation. You put a lock on your locker right under the noses of the whole class. What exactly are you locking up? A few books and papers, or the basic trust established among us classmates?"
"Look at the lockers. Besides yours, is anyone else's locker locked? If even books need to be guarded like against thieves, does it mean you think there are despicable people in this class who need a lock to guard against?"
"Bai! Bu! Fan! You are using a physical chain to cut the class community! I'll ask one last time, Bai Bufan… who exactly are you judging! With! This! Lock! You hung up in front of everyone's eyes!"
Lin Li was filled with righteous indignation, angry and ferocious.
And to these sharp words, Bai Bufan just felt it was noisy, picked his ear with his pinky finger, then turned his head and sneered at Lin Li:
"What, you can't steal my test paper and write the answers on the blackboard like last time, so you're anxious?"
Lin Li looked away.
Hehe, you found out.
"Sure enough, if you throw a brick into a doghouse, the one that barks the loudest at you is the one that got hit." Bai Bufan continued to sneer.
Lin Li turned his head, thought for a moment, and said: "Bufan, it's wrong for you to say that. Some people are allergic to bricks, they won't bark."
"What does allergic to bricks mean?" Bai Bufan was stunned for a moment, not understanding.
"I was playing with bricks on the balcony last time, and accidentally dropped one. It happened to hit someone who was allergic to bricks, and he immediately fainted and stopped talking. Really, having such a severe allergy and not saying it beforehand." Lin Li said in annoyance.
Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"
There were too many things to complain about, Bai Bufan was speechless for a moment.
"You fucking call that allergic to bricks! Then any fucking human would be allergic!" Bai Bufan then questioned.
Lin Li shrugged and stood up.
The morning classes were all about explaining the test papers. From the looks of it, he performed very steadily in the midterm exams.
Chinese is hard to say, he didn't dare to draw a conclusion before the results came out, but he didn't lose any major points in other subjects.
As long as there were no accidents in the remaining subjects, Lin Li believed his score should steadily get him into the top ten of the grade, completing the task.
As for being the top in a single subject, 150 in math already satisfied that. He didn't know if it was because there were no other 150s in the grade, or if the system considered a tie for first place as first place.
Anyway, as long as it was completed.
After stretching, since Bai Bufan wouldn't let him steal the test paper, Lin Li walked over to Zhou Baowei to see what he was doing.
He saw that even though it was between classes, Zhou Baowei was still crawling on his desk, currently scribbling on his answer sheet with a red pen.
Getting closer, he saw that Zhou Baowei was tracing over all the deduction marks like "-4" and "-2" written by the teacher.
"Baowei, what are you doing?" Lin Li asked in confusion.
Hearing this, Zhou Baowei pointed to another answer sheet of his that hadn't been traced over and explained: "This is the original grading (yuan pi), I don't want to be a Genshin Impact player (yuan pi)."
"So I thickened the teacher's grading, this way it's no longer the original grading (yuan pi), but thick grading (nong pi)." Pointing to the answer sheet with thickened outlines, Zhou Baowei added a second sentence.
Lin Li, Bai Bufan: "(；゜○゜)?"
It really is.
Lin Li thought for a moment, reached out and took the eraser from his desk that was half used (accurately speaking, half picked away out of boredom), and rubbed it hard on the answer sheet. He rubbed too hard and wrinkled the answer sheet:
"Very good, this way I'm not an original grading (yuan pi) either, but I don't want to be an Honor of Kings player (nong pi) either, I'm a wrinkled grading (zhou pi)."
Slurp slurp, the jade feet from Saturday are still vivid in my mind, long live jade feet.
Of course, to emphasize again, Lin Li is not a leg fetishist.
Then Lin Li and Zhou Baowei looked at their respective deskmates, Bai Bufan and Qin Zeyu.
It's your turn to perform, the two also realized this.
"I'm a masturbating grading (lu pi)." Bai Bufan answered.
"I'm a fire grading (huo pi)." Qin Zeyu also responded.
The two looked at each other and stood up at the same time.
"I'm going outside to borrow a lighter." Qin Zeyu walked out.
"I'll just jerk off right here." Bai Bufan took off his pants.
"No need, no need, no need, there's really no need to burn the test paper…" Lin Li and Zhou Baowei hurriedly stopped the fire grading (huo pi) Qin Zeyu.
The masturbating grading (lu pi) Bai Bufan, who had just unfastened his belt, fell silent.
Because no one stopped him.
Even now, the three of them, including Qin Zeyu, were looking at him. The three of them believed silence is golden, staring, but not speaking.
"...Is no one going to stop me?" Bai Bufan said weakly.
"Jerk it, I just want to see what a masturbating grading (lu pi) is." Lin Li raised his chin, his tone calm.
Zhou Baowei and Qin Zeyu also nodded.
Bai Bufan: "..."
Animals, fucking animals.
Was this how uncomfortable Lin Li felt when he was forced to throw darts yesterday?
Putting himself in his shoes, Bai Bufan had to sigh. Lin Li really fucking deserved it, he should have been treated like this long ago.
"What new stunt are you guys pulling?" Wang Ze came from the front row to the back row at this time, saw this confrontation scene, and asked curiously.
"We are..." Bai Bufan stepped forward, saved, and told Wang Ze the cause and effect.
"This is your home court, Wang Ze, perform." After introducing, Bai Bufan looked at Wang Ze expectantly.
Wang Ze was the owner of the title "Let me see your pussy", the only legend of Xiling Senior One, the netherworld creepy king who existed on the confession wall for three minutes.
Wang Ze naturally wouldn't look at the test paper grading, which fell right into the trap of these guys, but he had an idea.
He took the answer sheet, went to Lin Li's desk, and under everyone's gaze, threw the answer sheet onto the lawn on the first floor.
—"This is grass grading (cao pi)!"
"Ohohoh!!! As expected of Wang Ze, just creepy!" Bai Bufan and Zhou Baowei were very satisfied with this result, high-fiving Wang Ze one after another, making "oh oh" sounds as hype men.
Wang Ze high-fived and high-fived, feeling a bit short of breath.
Looking back, oh oh, it turned out Lin Li was choking his neck preparing to strangle him to death. It startled Wang Ze, he thought he was eating betel nut.
"What's, wrong, Lin, Li." Wang Ze asked with difficulty.
"Fucking my answer sheet (cao pi) with my answer sheet, do you think I, a pure love warrior, can accept this kind of cuckoldry." Lin Li's smile and voice were both very gloomy.
Lin Li ▄︻┻┳═一 Wang Ze.
Lin Li corrected Wang Ze's answer, Wang Ze became a dead grading (sha pi).
"Bufan." When Wang Ze picked up the answer sheet and returned it to him, the warning bell for class also rang. Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan and spoke.
"What is it." Bai Bufan turned his head.
Pointing to the small lock on the locker behind him, Lin Li said calmly:
"Where did you buy the lock, I'm considering buying one too."
Bai Bufan smiled, throwing a boomerang…
"Lin Li, I forgot the beginning, I forgot the end, but I remember one sentence in the middle…
You put a lock on your locker right under the noses of the whole class. What exactly are you locking up? A few books and papers, or the basic trust established among us classmates?"
"Bullshit, bullshit! There is no trust in this class!"
"Sigh, look, you're anxious again."
(End of Chapter)