As the exam time approached, the invigilators of the exam room walked over one after another with sealed bags.
As expected of the midterm exam, it was quite grand, the test papers all had sealed bags.
"Teacher Yan, what a coincidence, you're invigilating me again." Lin Li, who had just finished pinching butts, walked up and greeted Teacher Wang, the homeroom teacher of Class 5.
"Yeah."
Wang Ziyan sighed, a beautiful morning starting off not so beautifully.
"Teacher, want some chewing gum? Don't worry, it's domestic. Of course, if you want imported, I happen to have one here too." Lin Li chewed the gum he hadn't spit out yet, carrying out the virtue of sharing.
Wang Ziyan: "..."
Dead memories began to attack him.
"Lin Li."
"Eh."
"Get lost." Wang Ziyan smiled.
They always greeted each other when they met in school, plus Wang Ziyan was young, so they were quite familiar with each other, so Wang Ziyan didn't need to be polite to Lin Li.
"Teacher, saying this violates teachers' ethics."
"Then disappear from my sight with the least amount of friction."
"That's right~ This fits a teacher's identity." Although Wang Ziyan wasn't a physics teacher, Lin Li still gave a thumbs up.
"Sigh, no wonder my right eye has been twitching today." Wang Ziyan sighed helplessly.
"Teacher, the left eyelid twitching indicates that you are about to make a fortune, this is the wisdom of our ancestors. And the right eyelid twitching represents intermittent autonomous vibratory twitching of the orbicularis oculi muscle and the branches of the orbicularis nerve controlled by the brain, which is a normal phenomenon, you can trust science."
Lin Li popularized science.
Although science and theology are tit for tat most of the time, many times you can't just summarize it in a binary way, but look at it dialectically, because sometimes they complement each other.
—The most famous example is that science created airplanes and two skyscrapers, but it was theology that brought them together.
"Alright, alright, eating is forbidden during the exam, spit it out quickly and go in for the exam," Wang Ziyan shook his head, looking helpless: "You're not planning to pull any stunts this time, are you?"
"Don't worry, Teacher, I'll bring these into the exam room later: a writing board, three pens, a watch, a small piece of paper, a 2B pencil, and an eraser. What stunts can I pull with these?"
Lin Li spit out the chewing gum, took out the things he was going to bring into the exam room from his backpack, and said to Wang Ziyan.
"Did something strange just slip in! What small piece of paper are you bringing to the exam!"
Catching the keyword, Wang Ziyan's eyes widened. He reached out and directly took the folded small piece of paper from Lin Li's palm, ruthlessly violating Lin Li's privacy, and opened it to take a look.
After reading the content, Wang Ziyan was stunned, looking puzzled: "What is this?"
"Teacher, you haven't grown up this big without ever receiving a love letter, have you? Can't you tell, this is a love letter." Lin Li took back the small piece of paper and mocked, "Pitiful teacher that nobody wants, tsk."
Wang Ziyan: "?"
"No!"
"How the f... how can you tell this is a love letter! And who said I, I, I... Lin Li! If you dare to show any sign of cheating! You're dead later!" Wang Ziyan retracted two 'moms'.
Class 4 exam room.
Wang Ziyan's voice was very loud, and he shouted it in the corridor. Chen Yuying's seat was right next to the corridor window, so she heard it very clearly.
Resting her cheek on one hand, holding a pen between two slender fingers and swaying it left and right waiting for the test papers to be handed out, Chen Yuying couldn't help but curl her lips into a beautiful arc after hearing this sentence.
Lin Li is really stupid.
Who told him this is a love letter, there's no such love letter.
Teacher Wang is also stupid.
He can't even tell this is a love letter, he definitely hasn't received one before.
...
After dinner.
Lin Li moved his desk, shuffling in like a crab from the back door, while happily shouting an untargeted AOE taunt:
"My hands are hot today, the exam wasn't difficult at all, can I have three more test papers!"
Perhaps because his view was restricted sitting in the first row, or perhaps because no one cheated in the exam room, in short, the system didn't trigger a task during the exam like last time.
Lin Li only needed to take the exam with peace of mind.
For today's three subjects, except for Chinese which is more metaphysical, Lin Li felt the other two were a breeze.
Moreover, for the Chinese essay, among the large number of model essays Lin Li had memorized, a few barely matched. After combining them, it could be considered a golden bowl with a shit rim, the score shouldn't be too low.
"What's wrong, Bufan, looking so miserable."
Putting the desk, which looked a bit bloated with many textbooks that didn't belong to him, back in its original place, Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan and asked.
"Despair." Bai Bufan looked at the test paper in his hand and sighed.
"What's wrong?"
"Weren't you and the Class Rep arguing in the corridor just now about what to choose for the last biology question?" Bai Bufan looked up at Lin Li and spoke.
"Choose A, not C, we reached an agreement. The Class Rep has already submitted to my pomegranate skirt, admitting she was wrong, jie jie jie." Lin Li snapped his fingers proudly.
This is the bugle call of victory!
The balance is already tilting towards him, win!
"As expected..." Bai Bufan leaned back, covering his face with the test paper.
"It's not your fault for choosing C, the question is too tricky. When the CO concentration in the container remains unchanged, it means the respiration rate of the entire plant equals the photosynthetic rate, not just the mesophyll cells. Non-photosynthetic cells are still undergoing respiration. It's just being disgusting with this respiration difference." Lin Li said.
Bai Bufan: "But I chose D."
"Then you're a pure idiot." Lin Li said without hesitation.
Bai Bufan: "..."
Such a violent and rapid attack method, as if it didn't go through the brain's thinking, completely out of inner combat instinct.
"Fuck, so do you understand my despair now! Hearing you two arguing whether it's A or C, my heart broke looking at the D on my test paper!" Bai Bufan was helpless and helpless:
"What could be more desperate than this?"
"There is, bro, there is." Lin Li nodded:
"I saw a graduate student bro online. His project group's research topic is smart toilets. So in order for the computer to recognize poop, he needs to meticulously cut out the poop part from two thousand photos of toilets to feed the computer to train the intelligent model."
Bai Bufan: "..."
Lowering his head, Bai Bufan pressed his forehead with the back of his hand, and finally couldn't help but laugh out loud: "Thank you, miracle doctor, I suddenly feel that life is so beautiful."
How could there be such a desperate way to die in the world?
"Pst pst! Pst pst—Situation! Lin Li, Bufan, come quick!" Before Lin Li could continue, Zhou Baowei suddenly waved and called out to the two from outside the door.
"What's wrong?" Lin Li and Bai Bufan walked out of the classroom.
"Look downstairs, who are those two!" Zhou Baowei leaned against the guardrail (it didn't collapse, good quality, thumbs up for Nansang Middle School), pointing outside the teaching building and said.
The two leaned over, and then saw Wang Ze.
The most crucial thing was that walking beside Wang Ze was a girl the three of them didn't know.
To be precise, it wasn't that they didn't know her, but they hadn't seen her in person. Lin Li had seen photos, this was the senior sister who was asked to show her pussy.
"She didn't photoshop much, she's really not bad." After looking through his hands formed like binoculars for a while, Bai Bufan shook his head and clicked his tongue.
Lin Li nodded, this senior sister was about one-tenth of a Chen Yuying.
This was already a very high evaluation.
And Wang Ze was about one-hundredth of himself—this was also a very high evaluation.
So for him, it was a huge profit.
"As brothers, it's time to lend Wang Ze a helping hand." Bai Bufan's eyes were firm.
"What are you going to do?" Lin Li and Zhou Baowei looked at him.
Bai Bufan looked at Lin Li first, but before he could speak, he received a death stare. After thinking about it, he turned to look at the punching bag Zhou Baowei, and asked seriously and earnestly: "Baowei, can you jump off the building and fall to your death right now?"
"? Is this fucking human language." Zhou Baowei's mouth twitched.
"According to the suspension bridge effect, people of the opposite sex are prone to develop favorable impressions of each other in dangerous situations. As long as you fall, it will inevitably cause an earthquake. I dare say, the next second they will hug each other. Don't worry, when Wang Ze and the senior sister get married, no one will dare to touch their chopsticks if your portrait isn't brought up."
Bai Bufan actively analyzed the logic in his suggestion, swearing solemnly.
Zhou Baowei: "?"
Then he was almost thrown down by Zhou Baowei.
The teaching buildings for Senior One and Senior Two were separate, but there were overhead corridors connecting the second and fourth floors. However, Wang Ze and Qian Ying still chose to separate downstairs. Soon, Wang Ze appeared at the stairwell on the second floor.
Walking up, he noticed the teasing gazes of Lin Li and the other two.
Bai Bufan: "Happy again, bro/."
Zhou Baowei: "Treat sister-in-law well/."
Lin Li: "Bring the pool table out to hit sister-in-law when you have time/."
Wang Ze: "..."
Where did these three social elementary school students come from?
Actually, he had noticed these three bastards upstairs when he was downstairs, but he really didn't dare to acknowledge them.
Wang Ze could guarantee that as long as he made eye contact with them, the process was unclear, but the result would definitely be over.
"Get lost, get lost, get lost." Wang Ze waved his hands repeatedly, covering up his slight embarrassment.
"Didn't you say you didn't know how to find topics, why were you talking and laughing all the way." Lin Li teased.
"It just comes naturally..." Wang Ze also leaned against the guardrail, looking at the first floor, with a hehe smile: "After chatting a lot, it's not particularly awkward. Although my EQ is low, her personality is good, and she knows my EQ is low, so I don't have to be so careful with my words..."
"So it's almost a done deal?" Bai Bufan asked.
"She was the one chasing me in the first place, and I don't hate it..." Wang Ze didn't answer directly, then looked a bit distressed: "But it's quite a pity..."
"What's a pity?! Tell us something depressing so we bros can be happy." Lin Li suddenly got excited.
Wang Ze: "..."
"Lin Li, you are a human, I'll eat it."
"Little glutton, I'll let you eat it tonight, now continue talking, hurry up." Lin Li urged.
"Sigh, Senior Sister Qian is not from our province, she's from Jiangsu, her family works here. She said her family rarely marries outside the province. If we really get together, what will happen in the future?" Wang Ze sighed, looking melancholy.
"Cough—pfft, cough, cough!"
The three people next to him started coughing violently at the same time, patting their chests.
The sound of the window rolling open came from behind, and Zhang Haoyang asked in surprise: "Why did everyone suddenly start coughing? Is the zombie apocalypse starting, is the virus spreading?
"Baowei, Lin Li, you two absolutely cannot turn into zombies, that would be too terrifying..."
Hearing this, Bai Bufan coughed while turning his head, looking at Zhang Haoyang with a little expectation.
Seeing that he didn't speak, he asked gently: "Haoyang, did you forget to mention someone?"
"No." Zhang Haoyang was a bit puzzled.
"What a silly little fool, then let me give you another hint, the virus is about to break out, and I'm coughing too~" Bai Bufan used a kindergarten teacher's tone, pointed at himself, and actively coughed twice more.
"I know, just turn then. A zombie like you can just be farmed as a mob." Zhang Haoyang scoffed, shrugging indifferently.
Bai Bufan: "?"
"Your mom!"
Lin Li turned to look at Wang Ze, questioning speechlessly:
"No, Wang Ze, how have you already thought this far ahead? Zhuge Liang stargazing can only see at most five cards from the top of the deck, you're looking directly at the bottom of the deck, what the hell are you doing?"
I also think very far ahead, but I only think about good things.
"It's understandable, it's like this when you fall in love for the first time, everyone always thinks very far ahead, but never considers whether there is a future between him and her."
Zhang Haoyang behind them heard this and spoke somewhat sadly.
The corridor was silent for a moment, everyone seemed to have a story—
"Zhang Haoyang, you dead otaku virgin, what are you acting so deep for?" Bai Bufan frowned in confusion.
"Fuck! Bufan, your words are so fucking hurtful! I'm not talking to you guys anymore! Fuck!" The window was slammed shut.
"Since you've thought this far ahead, Wang Ze, have you thought of a name for the child?" Lin Li continued to ask, ignoring the noise behind them.
"Not yet." Wang Ze shook his head.
Lin Li sneered, then Wang Ze was still inferior to him.
Wang Ze: "?"
What's with this inexplicable sense of superiority?
"I really don't understand you, Wang Ze. You haven't even started dating yet, why are you already fantasizing about the most terrifying marriage."
Seeing that Zhang Haoyang was no longer paying attention to him, Bai Bufan returned to the three of them, shaking his head and sighing: "Marriage is exactly like a hand grenade, it's terrifying just thinking about it."
"What kind of saying is this?" Wang Ze was a bit puzzled.
"Pull the ring, which is taking off the ring, and directly with a bang, half of your house is blown away. If the situation is bad, maybe the whole thing is gone."
Bai Bufan pulled his hands apart to simulate an explosion scene, while explaining.
Wang Ze: "..."
In a sense, it really is.
"Is it really that scary." Zhou Baowei said with a smile.
"Isn't public opinion on the internet like this now? Damn it, what marital rape, bride price disputes, gender responsibilities.
"One is scarier than the other. Novels need logic, but reality doesn't.
"I was already afraid of women, now I'm even more afraid. I'm even thinking if I can let my parents open another smurf account, and I'll let this main account be DINK." Bai Bufan muttered.
"What does DINK mean, Ding Ding shock?" Zhou Baowei raised his hand.
(Translator's Note: "Ding Ding" is slang for penis).
"...You can understand it that way." Bai Bufan thought about it, originally wanting to refute, but then felt there was no problem.
"Regarding public opinion, my evaluation is that someone is doing it on purpose," Lin Li heard this and gave a sharp comment: "The master earned a hundred yuan, so he distributed 1.1 yuan to all the male employees under him, and 1 yuan to all the female employees.
"Then men and women fought a bloody battle over this 0.1 yuan. The men shouted that this 0.1 yuan was deserved, and the women shouted that this was unfair. So no one cared about the beautiful 97.9 yuan in the master's pocket."
However, before the four of them could continue discussing politics, the preparatory bell for evening self-study had already rung.
So the four of them walked into the classroom, while also pulling back the topic that had strayed far away:
"Wang Ze, you can imagine the beauty of the future, I can totally understand this, but don't imagine the worries of the future, aren't you just worrying for nothing?"
Lin Li transformed into a life mentor, giving Wang Ze guidance.
"Remember, there is a phrase called 'grasp the present' (ba wo dang xia), its meaning is, under the crotch (dang xia) is the most certain."
"So you only need to listen to the opinion under your crotch. If it thinks it's good, then it's really good, that's enough."
"Remember, combining 'enjoy the present' (ji shi xing le) and 'grasp the present' (ba wo dang xia), becomes 'grasp the crotch and enjoy' (shi wo dang xia ji ba xing le), this is the true meaning of life."
Wang Ze, Zhou Baowei, Bai Bufan: "?"
"What kind of fucking 'grasp the present' is this!" Wang Ze's mouth twitched.
"Then just tell me if you want the senior sister to grasp the present." Lin Li asked back calmly.
Wang Ze: "..."
No, bro?
Facing Lin Li's gaze, Wang Ze remained silent, blindly looking away (feeling guilty).
"Don't play dead, Wang Ze, Look in my ass! Answer me!" Lin Li was aggressive, "Do you want to! Speak!!"
"...Yes." Xiling lad Wang Ze stood at attention.
"Isn't that an instant kill, so do you know what you should consider now, and what you shouldn't consider." Lin Li's tone immediately became gentle again, patted Wang Ze's shoulder, and said somewhat gratified.
"Thank you, Prime Minister, a word to the wise is enough." Wang Ze gave a thumbs up with a somewhat complex expression, and nodded.
...
After school.
Lin Li rode his bike home first, then took a taxi to Laoyou Road again, preparing to hunt the fourth group of unlucky bastards.
[Building a Safe Xiling Together, Everyone is Responsible]
But after not coming for two days, Laoyou Road seemed to have undergone some changes.
As soon as Lin Li got out of the car, he saw a huge promotional billboard appearing in front of him, with spotlights shining on the text at the bottom, making it look exceptionally bright.
Lin Li blinked, a bad premonition faintly arising in his heart, but he continued walking into Laoyou Road.
"..."
"Holy fucking shit." Lin Li's mouth twitched.
He saw that the originally dim alleyways now had solar street lights installed on both sides. Although some seemed not to be connected to the circuit yet, the few that could be used normally illuminated the road clearly with their cold white light.
On the street light poles, every hundred meters or so, besides the new street lights, newly installed spherical surveillance cameras could also be seen. Some were slowly rotating, and the red indicator lights flashed regularly in the night, very conspicuous.
But this wasn't the most conspicuous.
The most conspicuous thing was the fucking electronic notice board newly set up at the intersection.
It was scrolling warning slogans like "Robbery of Property Will Be Severely Punished", "Do Not Violate the Law and Commit Crimes", "This Section Has Been Included in the 24-Hour Intelligent Surveillance Zone, Jointly Guarding a Safe Xiling".
Where the fuck am I, is this still Laoyou Road?
Lin Li walked very silently all the way, his original joy and expectation gradually dying down.
When he saw the familiar snack stall, he went up and ordered another portion of chicken tenders, asking heavily and sorrowfully:
"Uncle, do you still remember me? Can I ask, what happened to Laoyou Road? Why does it seem like the infrastructure and stuff have all been updated?"
"Oh oh, you mean this, of course, it was just done in the past two days, how could it not be new," the stall owner heard this and said to Lin Li somewhat happily:
"I heard it's because there have been too many incidents here recently, causing the higher-ups to pay attention to this place again."
"Street lights, surveillance cameras, they were all just installed in the past two days, some haven't even been finished yet."
"This morning, the police station and the sub-district office held a briefing session at the community service center, I even went."
"What did they say?" Lin Li pressed.
"Didn't listen, I started dozing off after receiving half a dozen eggs. I run a night stall every day, how could I have energy in the morning." The stall owner said matter-of-factly.
Lin Li: "..."
"Anyway, it's just talking about rectification. Have you noticed, there are hardly any hooligans at night now?
"Those vocational schools and technical schools nearby seem to have been summoned for talks too. Now the management is very strict. The Hongtu one, it seems their students had an incident a few days ago, now they've simply implemented closed management.
"KTVs and bars are all implicated, the people in charge were called to a meeting."
"Not only that, during this period, the police also come to patrol irregularly to ensure the security here."
"It's not easy, really not easy, finally they're not just focusing on the new city, but remembered our old city area. Although my business has gotten a bit worse, I still feel it's not bad..." The stall owner sighed with emotion.
Lin Li: "..."
Silence.
"Eh, what a coincidence, young man look, speak of the devil and he arrives, hasn't the patrol arrived here again?" The stall owner's eyes suddenly lit up, and he raised his chin towards the end of the road.
Lin Li turned his head, a police car without its siren or police lights on slowly drove over, and then happened to stop right at the small stall.
The car door opened, Yan Aosong stepped down and came to Lin Li's side.
"Lin Li, what a coincidence, you're here tonight too?" Yan Aosong smiled and spoke.
"...Mhm."
"Boss, I'll also have a portion of chicken tenders, a large one, how much?" After greeting, Yan Aosong looked at the stall owner.
"Sigh, no money needed, no money needed, you've worked hard, how can I charge you for these chicken tenders!" The boss laughed heartily.
"That won't do, I still have to pay what I should, there are regulations, twelve right, I've scanned it."
"Alright then, I'll give you a bit more, a little token of appreciation, you can't say anything about this."
"Okay, then thank you boss."
Lin Li waited for the conversation to end before asking: "Uncle Yan, you're patrolling here?"
"Yeah," Yan Aosong nodded, "The security here has been too poor recently. The municipal bureau has always been promoting the 'Beautiful Xiling' security rectification special action. After these incidents, the old city area, as a key battleground, has now been included in the second phase coverage."
"The time is too short now, the infrastructure is not yet in place, so we can only make up for it with manpower first. So they asked me to be stationed here for patrol during this period, to guard against those scoundrels messing around during the gap when the surveillance hasn't been fully implemented yet."
Yan Aosong explained gently, exchanged a glance with Lin Li, and both of them smiled.
It's just that one smile was sincere, and the other smile was bitter.
"Uncle, are you only guarding against those scoundrels..." Lin Li asked with a bitter face.
"Of course, also guarding against you." Yan Aosong smiled even more sincerely, speaking bluntly.
Lin Li: "..."
Fuck.
Sincerity is the ultimate weapon, anyway, Lin Li was killed.
"Lin Li." Looking up at the night sky, Yan Aosong let out a long sigh and spoke.
"Eh, Uncle, I'm here, you say." Lin Li's expression was mechanical and stiff.
"Although it was originally in the plan, you can actually be considered to have made a great contribution to urging us to truly implement this matter."
"Ah?"
"Without the push of your few incidents, things wouldn't have developed so smoothly. There was almost no obstruction when I reported it for approval, and the community was exceptionally cooperative."
"Yang Liang told me about your true nature. Thinking about it suddenly, perhaps... this is the real thing you didn't say, or weren't very good at expressing, that you hoped we would do?"
Lin Li: "?"
How exactly did Uncle Yang introduce me to you, to make your thoughts diverge like this...
Slander! He's slandering me!
"Uncle, if I say there's no such thing, can you withdraw this action?" Lin Li said weakly.
"What?" Because Lin Li spoke very softly, Yan Aosong didn't hear clearly.
"Nothing... I'm not that great..." Lin Li sighed, also knowing that withdrawal was impossible.
Yan Aosong didn't mind either, and patted Lin Li's shoulder:
"No matter what you really think, Lin Li, you must remember, this is the correct way, not hurting others, and even less hurting yourself. Don't be so extreme next time, it's meaningless, understand."
"A person's strength is always weak."
"Batman waited for his Gotham justice, Gotham is forever a city of sin, just because he is only one person, not even having parents.
"But Xiling is not Gotham, Black Silk Hero, you must remember, you are not, many of us stand with you."
As Yan Aosong spoke, he even felt a bit fired up, so his mouth carried a smile and a bit of pride:
"In order to launch it this week, your Uncle Yan also put in a lot of effort, otherwise it would really take another week or two to start transforming this place. I've been busy to death these past few days, Lin Li, shouldn't you thank Uncle?"
Although he didn't accept the name Gordon, he ultimately had the reality of Gordon, becoming a partner of justice in the dark!
Lin Li: "?"
Fuck!
Uncle Yan! So you are the most heinous one! Give me back those crucial one or two weeks!
Seeing Lin Li staring at him with wide eyes, Yan Aosong felt a little shy under this gaze, which should be one of gratitude, and waved his hand:
"No need to look at me like that, it's what I should do."
"...Th-thanks."
"You're welcome. Are you happy, Black Silk Hero, that the day you longed for has arrived so quickly?"
"I'm happy, I'm so happy hahaha wuwuwu TAT..."
Looking at Lin Li weeping tears of joy, Yan Aosong's face became even kinder, and he continued to pat Lin Li's shoulder:
"From now on, Xiling doesn't need Black Silk Hero anymore."
"Lin Li, be White Silk Hero."
"Uncle, but I feel more like a clown now. I don't want to stay in Xiling anymore, I want to go back to Gotham. Batman said he won't hit me anymore." Lin Li smiled desolately.
Where are you, Wang Yuezhi, my good lunchtime brother?
Long time no see, I miss you so much, Yuezhi.
Can you lend me a red nose.
Yan Aosong: "?"
(End of Chapter)