"That's right! We're talking about you! Put down your weapon immediately and cooperate with our instructions, otherwise we will take all necessary measures!"
The leading Demon Suppression Envoy confirmed Lin Li's statement and continued to urge.
"But I'm the one who called the police."
Lin Li put away the stick, retracting it into a small section, which looked quite cute being so short. While putting it back inside his clothes, he explained somewhat innocently to the Demon Suppression Envoy.
Baka, I am a very good citizen.
Demon Suppression Envoy: "?"
"What? You called the police?" The Demon Suppression Envoy turned his head slightly and looked at Lin Li askance, confirming in disbelief.
"Yes, the number ending in 9749 that just called the police, that matches, right."
Lin Li somewhat missed Yang Liang. If it were him, he would definitely understand what he meant, right?
But there was really no need to make him travel far in the middle of the night to work this overtime, so Lin Li contacted the 110 command center.
He decided not to tell Yang Liang this bad news and let him have a good weekend.
"So... you mean, you are the victim who was robbed?"
Seeing that Lin Li indeed had no intention of running away, the Demon Suppression Envoy had already put away the stun gun, but his face was still full of disbelief.
He first pointed at Lin Li slowly and doubtfully, then pointed at the four guys on the ground, his voice floating:
"They four... are the robbers who came to rob you?"
"Of course, isn't this obvious at a glance? How could I rob the four of them all by myself." Lin Li spread his hands.
Demon Suppression Envoy: "?"
How the fuck is this obvious at a glance!!
Yan Aosong really wanted to roar at Lin Li's face.
These four guys, some injured, some wailing, their clothes disheveled, and they were even casting hopeful glances at him.
It looks like they were looking forward to the arrival of our Demon Suppression Division more than you!
No matter how you look at it, they look like the victims, right?
"Get up, no sleeping here."
Lin Li stepped forward and kicked the blond guy and the others a few times each. The force was just right, not too light or too heavy, making them dazed but not causing brain damage.
To be honest, Lin Li didn't know if these guys were a bit useless, or if he really counted as a capable half-immortal cultivator now.
He didn't even do much at the beginning, just used the "Formless Sword" and the "Duck Blood Bottle", and messed these four up completely.
Later, when he went up himself, he knocked these four down with almost no effort.
Except for the two magic treasures, he didn't use any other abilities.
He didn't even use the most basic [Charge], let alone anything else. It was much easier than expected.
Perhaps, as he grew, the efficiency of utilizing magic treasures became higher and higher. Using them against mortals was already a dimensional strike.
Sigh, maybe this is the loneliness of invincibility.
Lin Li didn't even have the chance to display the one-second-six-strikes technique he had painstakingly learned from General Quan.
As a loyal boy, Lin Li remembered the mnemonic:
Elbow strike to open the airway, stun gun to bring back your heartbeat. Law enforcement has warmth, the baton has strength, raising the foot has accuracy, raising the hand has height, throwing a punch has an angle, every strike has an attitude, doing things has demeanor, thinking has depth.
First strike to the mouth, refuse begging for mercy; second strike to the legs, prevent escape; third strike to the brain, prevent thinking; the remaining strikes, all to the little bird.
What a pity.
Yan Aosong: "..."
Now Lin Li's action of stepping forward and kicking these four people in the waist area made Yan Aosong feel even more that Lin Li looked like the bully.
Reversing the natural order.
Yan Aosong had a bit of a headache, but still nodded as politely as possible, pointing to his car for Lin Li:
"No matter what, you get in the car first. Whether you are the victim or the perpetrator, you all have to come back with me to make a statement first."
"No problem."
Lin Li had already used all the tricks to torture Demon Suppression Envoys on Yang Liang. He had experienced what he should experience long ago, so Lin Li, having no regrets, was very cooperative this time and walked over following the instructions.
And when Yan Aosong approached the blond guy and the other three, the blond guy suddenly scrambled to him, crying and saying:
"Police! You have to stand up for us! It was entirely this guy crying thief to catch a thief, he beat us up! That's one thing! He actually wants to throw dirty water on us!"
"This person is a psychopath, absolutely. The few of us were passing by here, saw him squatting alone, we thought he was unwell, and even fucking went up to ask if he was okay. As a result, he suddenly pulled out a stick and started hitting people!
"After hitting us, he started calling the police to frame us! He did this on purpose. Think about it, if he were a normal person, how could he carry a stick with him when going out!!"
Lin Li, who was already preparing to get in the car, turned his head upon hearing this narrative, his expression carrying a somewhat uncontrollable smile.
And the blond guy's three underlings, after being stunned for a moment, also immediately nodded with shining eyes:
"Police bro, that's exactly how it is. This person definitely has a severe violent tendency, hitting people indiscriminately, and after hitting people, he wants to plant evidence and frame us! I even gave him a slash here!!"
"Yeah, yeah, look at us, do we look like robbers at all!"
"He just saw that there were no surveillance cameras or pedestrians here, and deliberately waited here to hit people! You must catch the right person!"
The four people cooperated quite well. Their rapid-fire remarks immediately filled Yan Aosong's eardrums.
Hearing this, Yan Aosong frowned.
It was impossible to completely believe them. After all, judging from their facial features and behavior, these four people were complete local hooligans, regular customers of the Demon Suppression Division.
It was very normal for them to really commit a robbery.
But handling cases absolutely cannot rely on facial features. In this situation with completely no surveillance cameras or eyewitnesses, although very small, there was indeed a possibility that Lin Li was a pervert with violent tendencies, deliberately disguising himself as a victim here, and calling the police after finding a random target to vent on.
"All of you come back with me, we'll know once we investigate. Separate these four people into pairs."
So Yan Aosong signaled to his subordinates.
Interrogating these four people separately to see if their confessions matched would settle the matter. So to prevent collusion, it was necessary to escort them separately now.
The blond guy also realized this, and hurriedly turned his head, constantly winking at his underlings, trying to pass messages.
"A very good plan."
Lin Li's sudden voice startled Yan Aosong.
Turning his head to look, he didn't know when this brat had already arrived beside him, and Yan Aosong, who could be considered a Demon Suppression Envoy of many years, didn't notice it at all.
Lin Li was currently looking at the blond guy with a smile.
This person was quite good at throwing dirty water, but to be honest, it could be considered his optimal solution in this situation.
Once successful, he could avoid prison time.
"Do you think that without surveillance cameras and pedestrians, you can make up the story however you want?" Unfortunately, Lin Li was prepared.
"But sorry, this road actually does have surveillance."
Lin Li reached into his pocket, took out a sports camera, showed it to Yan Aosong and the blond guy, and smiled:
"Look what this is? Sorry, I also brought a law enforcement recorder, different brand, same effect. Uncle, mine is DJI, what brand is yours?
"Although because mine was placed inside my clothes, many scenes were not captured completely, but the sound and everything were recorded clearly. This is enough to restore the truth."
Yan Aosong, Blond Guy: "?"
At this moment, all the Demon Suppression Envoys and hooligans present turned their gazes to Lin Li.
Why the fuck do you, a victim of robbery, have a victim recorder on you?
666, not salty anymore.
(Translator's Note: "Yan" (salt) sounds like "yan" (acting). "Not salty anymore" means "not acting anymore").
The blond guy even turned red with anger.
How can you play like this! It's too unfair!
The blond guy, who had reacted, was furious. He pointed at Lin Li, his whole body trembling non-stop.
After a while like this, his emotions were finally released, and the blond guy roared:
"Entrapment! This is entrapment! You planned all this! We completely fell for your evil trick! You vicious bastard! It's all your fucking conspiracy! See clearly! You must see clearly, comrade!"
From a certain perspective, everything he said was correct.
"Why... do you usually carry this thing?" Dodging the blond guy who wanted to hug his thigh, Yan Aosong also couldn't help asking.
"I have depression. Others say I'm very suitable to be a top 100 lifestyle uploader. I originally just planned to shoot a daily vlog today." Lin Li explained.
Yan Aosong: "..."
Your mom.
Don't believe it.
...
But whether Yan Aosong believed it or not, the moment this camera was taken out, the result of who was right and who was wrong was clearly presented.
Combined with the content in this camera, the blond guy and his gang admitted the fact of the robbery under Yan Aosong's interrogation offensive, confessing to everything.
It's just that they kept saying they were harmed by a treacherous person, that the treacherous person was too insidious and cunning, that the robbery was not planned by them, not their original intention, and things like that.
Unfortunately, it was useless.
Robbery is not a matter of squatting in a detention center for half a month.
Although it was an attempted robbery, and the Demon Suppression Division and the victim also took effective countermeasures, a lighter sentence was certain. Although it wouldn't be three to five years, there would still be half a year to a year to serve.
As for the treacherous person, he had already arrived at the entrance of the Demon Suppression Division with Yan Aosong.
Lin Li had a smile on his face.
[Keep up the good work... punish evil cultivators attempting to commit crimes and do evil, at least eight cases (1/8)]
This time, although it wasn't like last time where the task was completed as soon as he got in the police car, this prompt popped up for Lin Li when the interrogation was about halfway through.
Lin Li believed that the node causing this situation should be the specific time when the Demon Suppression Envoys confirmed that his task target for stopping and punishing was an undisputed evil cultivator.
This time didn't matter much. What was important was that this number could change from 0 to 1, which meant Lin Li's idea was correct.
Entrapment is also law enforcement.
Then, this task suddenly became clear.
—Continue to enter the game personally, winning half a piece against heaven.
It could also be considered paying tribute to the Joyous Union Sect, remembering Xiaojing and Feifei.
"In the future, if there's anything that requires you to testify, or if I need to send you materials, I'll contact you again?" Yan Aosong patted Lin Li's shoulder and said.
Through the conversation just now, Yan Aosong and Lin Li had already exchanged names and added each other as WeChat friends for future contact.
"Okay, Uncle Yan." Lin Li nodded.
"By the way, Little Lin, it's not wrong for you to usually have self-defense awareness, and carrying a telescopic baton is not illegal. But, since you carry these weapons with you, you must pay attention to the intensity of your defense."
Yan Aosong cared:
"That hooligan was right about one thing. If something major happens, and you have prepared weapons in advance, legally it might be considered premeditated. You can't escape this, or it will be very troublesome to argue.
"Because carrying a weapon yourself makes it very easy to be judged as excessive self-defense.
"As for what Uncle means by telling you this, it's not to tell you not to carry weapons for self-defense from now on. Having self-defense awareness is absolutely correct. But you must pay attention to the intensity of your counterattack. If the other party admits defeat, stop hitting them.
"Nothing happened this time, but next time if you don't stop and cripple or disable someone, you might even have to pay compensation. Isn't this bringing trouble upon yourself?"
Yan Aosong's expression was amiable.
Hearing this, Lin Li pinched his chin and nodded slowly, his brows tightly furrowed.
Yan Aosong was completely out of good intentions to remind him like this.
After all, it was the truth.
When encountering danger, killing the murderer with a dagger in your pocket versus smashing the murderer to death with a stone by the road, the probability of the former being judged as excessive self-defense is definitely much greater than the latter.
As long as it's a weapon, there will be this tendency.
"Uncle Yan."
Lin Li's eyes suddenly lit up. Having an extremely brilliant idea, he looked at Yan Aosong, eager to share.
"Hmm? What's wrong?" Yan Aosong looked at Lin Li.
"What if I carry a fake dick for self-defense?" Lin Li spoke.
"What thing?" Yan Aosong didn't hear clearly.
"A twenty or thirty-centimeter fake dick. I feel the power should be about the same as a telescopic baton."
Lin Li stretched out his hand, virtually grasped the air, and demonstrated his stick technique in front of Yan Aosong.
Yan Aosong: "(；☉_☉)?"
"What the fuck?!"
Yan Aosong asked again, his voice very loud.
—His ears had actually heard it clearly, but his brain insisted that his ears fucking didn't hear it clearly, and told them to listen again.
"Just that fake thing, this." Lin Li was very patient, reaching out and poking the air.
"Don't point randomly!!" When Lin Li repeated it for the third time, Yan Aosong finally confirmed he didn't mishear.
Yan Aosong looked at Lin Li, his expression extremely complex: "You..."
"Uncle, look, if I carry this thing with me, first, its definition is not a weapon. If others ask, I'll say I use it myself, so there's no such thing as deliberately carrying a weapon;
"Second, as long as I buy a hard one, actually a soft one is fine too, they are all very combat-capable. Whipping people with it also causes mental damage, enough to give a deterrent to those who want to harm me."
Lin Li felt he was simply a genius, perfectly solving the Arnold-style contradiction of needing a weapon on him but not being able to have a weapon.
His head was concave.
"Wait, wait, let me process this."
However, regarding Lin Li's speech and logic, Yan Aosong's choice was to lean against the wall and rest for a bit.
Lin Li was miserable encountering robbers tonight, but was Yan Aosong any better? Tonight he encountered a rapist—his brain was raped.
"Th-theoretically, it's, it's like this." After a long time, Yan Aosong stammered, "But, but I think Lin Li, how about you still carry this stick. Just pay attention to the force, the stick is quite good..."
"No, no, no, what you said is right. I'll change my self-defense weapon when I go back, I should follow your advice! Thank you, Uncle Yan, your idea and suggestion are great!"
But Lin Li couldn't listen anymore. He sincerely thanked Yan Aosong.
"No!" Yan Aosong instantly reacted, his eyes widening:
"Don't talk nonsense, I didn't teach you to do this. This is entirely your own idea. If someone asks, you can't say Uncle told you to carry it like this, absolutely not!"
If something happens, absolutely don't sell out your master.
"Uncle, when drinking water, don't forget the well-digger. There's no such principle." But how could Lin Li do that.
As I said, Lin Li learned from General Quan, so he must emphasize gratitude.
Yan Aosong: "..."
But what you kid are doing is not digging a well at all, but fucking carrying the well away from home. If the villagers know I instructed you to carry the well away, they will definitely curse me to death.
"Really no need, really no need." Yan Aosong insisted.
"Alright." Lin Li expressed some regret about this.
Yan Aosong let out a long breath. Great, dodged a bullet.
He now only hoped that no more blind people would go rob Lin Li. From the mouths of the blond guy and the others, he learned that this kid's combat power was also top-notch, and they described it as exceptionally ferocious and terrifying, even saying he knew sorcery.
There must be elements of exaggeration, but it proved that Lin Li was indeed not weak.
It made sense when you think about it. One against four, and one of the four even had a knife, a complete victory. No matter how you think about it, it's impossible for him to be weak.
And now, Yan Aosong didn't dare to imagine what terrifying power Lin Li, possessing such strength, would unleash if he held a thirty-centimeter giant dragon to whip people.
Just thinking about it, it, it... this is fucking pornographic.
His head was full of mosaics.
Therefore.
"In the future, late at night, don't walk alone in places like Laoyou Road, and don't reveal your wealth. It's very dangerous.
"Also, your home is in Ruiyun, how did you get here late at night? Let's go, I'll take you back first."
Yan Aosong was very worried that Lin Li would come up with some outrageous idea under his inspiration. For his own good and for the good of other robbers, after persuading him, he signaled that he could take him back first.
"Okay, Uncle, but you don't need to take me home. Take me back to Laoyou Road." Lin Li nodded and then shook his head.
"Ah? What are you going back there for?" Yan Aosong was a bit puzzled.
Of course because there's still a lot of time tonight, I have to continue fishing.
"Of course because I rode my bike here. My bicycle is still over there, I can't just leave it there." Lin Li also had a reasonable excuse.
"Oh, oh, okay, then I'll take you back there first." Yan Aosong suddenly realized.
With Yan Aosong's assistance, Lin Li returned to Xiling Gotham.
"Is the bike big? If it's not big, put it in the trunk, and I'll take you home after putting it in the car." Before Lin Li got out of the car, Yan Aosong asked politely.
"It's quite big, can't be folded, but still, thank you for your kindness, Uncle." Lin Li was telling the truth.
"Okay, then hurry home, don't linger here, it's not safe."
"Okay, Uncle Yan."
"Then I'm leaving."
"Bye, Uncle Yan~"
Yan Aosong nodded, drove away, and saw from the rearview mirror that Lin Li had been watching him go, still waving.
Putting aside the fake dick idea, this kid was still quite polite and well-behaved.
However.
If there were no accidents in the follow-up of this case, the jurisdiction where this kid lived had almost nothing to do with him. There should be no chance to meet again.
But life is always like this.
Meeting in a hurry, parting in a hurry, everyone is a passerby in each other's life.
Take care, little friend Lin Li.
...
Take care of your mom.
Life is a thing where you never know which will come first, tomorrow or an accident.
November 2nd, 11:23 PM.
—The thirty-seventh minute after Yan Aosong and Lin Li parted.
Whether in an abstract or concrete sense, Yan Aosong's tomorrow had not yet come.
But.
Laoyou Road.
Yan Aosong, who had left and returned, had a twitching mouth and gritted teeth—
"Lin Li, what a coincidence, we fucking meet again."
(End of Chapter)