The sun was starting to sink below the horizon, setting the clouds ablaze with yellow light, as we arrived back at Nito’s auto-trike. A mound of water drums and boxes stood in front of the pit, and we still had no way to get the auto-trike moving. Nito was sitting atop one of the boxes, hugging her legs to her body. She didn’t raise her head from her knees even as we came to a stop.
“I dunno what the witch told her, but you go cheer her up, boyo. I’m heading off for a walk,” Jack told me, before putting his words into action and heading off up the road, away from us.
Cheer her up how? I wondered.
It was a bit of a point of pride, but I’d never had to cheer a girl up before. I’d have preferred the older man with all his life experience to not casually tell me what to do, just assuming I had the same value system as him. Either way, though, I couldn’t just sit there for eternity, so I got out of the car and walked to her side.
Her silver hair fell in a cascade around her shoulders and almost seemed to blend in with the light of the setting sun. She wasn’t taking any notice of even that, though, and was just sitting motionless, curled in on herself. I crouched down in front of her, opened my mouth...failed to think of anything to say, and softly closed it again.
The witch’s words had completely stripped her of her aspirations. The Golden Sea...didn’t exist. She had given up her precious notebook in exchange for finding out that the whole reason for her journey, the place from her mother’s memories, didn’t actually exist in this world. She had taken the revelation as utter fact.
“Nito,” I said.
It was the first time in my life that I had ever spoken so softly to someone else. I didn’t know whether it would work, but I wanted to get at least some of my feelings across to her. Nito’s head rose slowly, as if weighed down. The setting sun cast its light across her face, which just made her reddened eyes more obvious.
“Keisuke, welcome back,” she said and smiled at me—a weak smile that just showed her pain all the more.
I felt the urge to tell her not to force herself to smile. The only thing that held my tongue was that I knew, without even having to think about it, that she didn’t want to worry me.
“Yeah, we’re back...” I managed eventually.
“Where’s Jack?”
“He went on a walk.”
“Why did he want to go to the bridge?”
“Well, that’s an interesting story, actually. I’ll tell you the whole thing later.”
“Oh? I’ll look forward to it.”
She didn’t look even slightly like she really felt that way as she brushed her hair from her cheek and back over her ear, exposing its pointed tip. I remembered her telling me she was a half-elf, and her anger when I’d stared at her ears rather rudely on the day we met in the train station.
“Keisuke,” she spoke again, her beautiful cobalt eyes looking at me. “Did you ask the witch anything?”
I simply shook my head.
“Shouldn’t you?” she asked after a pause. “You might be able to find the person you’re looking for.”
While the way she’d worded it was slightly careless, there was no falsehood in her words. She really did hope that I could find him. At the same time, though, her voice held an undertone that made it clear that it was too late for her.
“Have you given up on the Golden Sea?”
“I haven’t given up on anything,” she answered. “It doesn’t exist. It’s not a real place, just something my mother made up for me. Don’t let it worry you. I’m okay. I’d thought it was a lie from the start.”
“Even though you were searching for it?”
“I mean, I was stuck in my room, wasn’t I? I couldn’t believe in a place that beautiful,” she said with a weak smile. “Mom told me that it was a secret place she’d never told anyone else about. She said that I was the only one she’d ever take there, that we’d go together once I got better. I knew that was never going to happen. After all, I was going to die stuck in my room.”
She looked up at the sky, her face twisting like she was holding down her gorge, gritting her teeth so much that I could feel her pain.
“But then, all of a sudden, the mana collapse happened.” Her voice was strangled with her emotions as well. “My mother, father, aunt, uncle...each and every one of them vanished. They all went away, and...then all that was left was me, the only one of us whose death wouldn’t have even mattered.”
Her head dropped again and I heard her nails dig into the edge of the wooden box, her fingertips going paper white. All I could do was give a brief hum of acknowledgment; it probably held no empathy, no consolation for her. I doubted I could truly comprehend her pain and sadness. I could imagine it, but I wasn’t so self-centered that I would try and use that pretense to console her.
“Everyone had gone, and I was all alone in the house. I couldn’t even die right. It was painful just staying there, so I decided to leave. I decided that I’d rely on that notebook and go on a journey—I’d go to the Golden Sea and keep our promise. That was the only reason I had left to live. My father had told me it was a lie, and I thought it was too, but I still wondered ‘what if’...”
Honestly, her world might have ended long before it fell apart as it had now. All through her childhood, she couldn’t leave her room and live like the other kids; she could only watch from the window and let her imagination run with make-believe stories and the tales of her mother’s travels. Living like that, day in and day out, couldn’t have been truly fulfilling. But then suddenly the world had changed, and she could live like a regular person.
Except that now the world was dying. I bit my lip. She’d had it way tougher than I had.
“The most beautiful place in the world was something my mother made for me, a dream. That’s why it can be the most beautiful place,” she said, a carefree smile on her face as she bowed her head at me. “Thank you for everything up until now. It wasn’t for long, but traveling with you really saved me. We met so many people and saw so many sights, I drew so many things... It was the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.”
I couldn’t mistake the meaning behind her words.
“Your journey’s...over?”
“It is. After all, the place I wanted to go doesn’t exist.”
On her face was...
“So I’m fine here,” she continued.
...a beautiful smile.
She’d given her all, tried her best, and gotten results. This was the tired smile of someone satisfied with the effort they’d put in, and coming to terms with where they’d ended up.
“But I owe you money.”
“There’s lots of money in the town,” she answered.
“Your auto-trike’s broken still.”
“It’s fine. The fastenings are all broken anyway, and I don’t need it anymore.”
“I haven’t taught you everything about camping yet.”
“That’s okay. I won’t be camping.”
“I haven’t paid you back.”
“Paid me back? I already said, the mon—”
“Not that.” It wasn’t that, not at all. “I just...”
I scratched a hand through my hair.
Seriously, just...
I put my hand to my forehead and screwed my eyes shut.
“I owe you.”
“But I haven’t done anything?”
“You didn’t need to!”
You saved my life.
I’d been completely alone. No one had ever been at home, and things had just gotten cold and dark. There’d been no warmth in that house, no conversation. I didn’t remember ever going out with my parents. My family was just an empty vessel—it looked right, but there was nothing inside. The house was just a collection of walls and a roof to keep out the wind and rain, nothing more. That’s why I’d run away.
“I like seeing you eat my food.”
She looked blankly back at me.
“I can wake up and tell you good morning. We can eat together, clean up, and watch the world go by as we drive. When we take a break, you get out your easel and start painting with such a serious look on your face. I can get the food ready while you paint, and enjoy the breeze, and bask in the sun through the trees. Once the sun sets we can eat dinner and just chat around the bonfire. Then I can say ‘see you tomorrow’ and get in the tent. It feels amazing—like the world hasn’t even ended. Honestly, I’ve been surprised at how much I enjoy having you there.”
I knew why I hadn’t asked the witch anything: I didn’t want to go back.
The world was rotting. Sooner or later, I might also turn into crystals and die. I knew that. Even so, I didn’t want to give up my time with Nito. It felt like I’d found the family I’d craved for so long.
I stretched out a hand to her.
“Let’s make a deal.”
“What good will that...”
Even as she looked back at me in confusion, I smiled at her.
“I’ll give you back your dreams, so stay with me.”
“Hwhaaah?”
After a moment, she parsed what I’d said, and the tip of the ear poking out from her hair went bright red as her eyes widened. The reaction felt a little over the top, prompting me to quickly take a look at myself. I was on one knee, holding out my hand toward Nito. Somehow, I’d gotten into the same pose Ned had taken to propose to Julie.