I must be in love with her.
That was why my emotions were all over the place when I stood in front of her. That was why I couldn’t do anything right in Viola’s presence. Ever since I was a toddler, I’d felt this way and I finally had a name for it.
By the time I realized it, I’d pulled her into an embrace.
“Lord Phillip?” Viola asked confusedly after a few moments.
At the sound of her calling my name, I came back to myself and hurriedly put some distance between us. Normally, we barely even spoke to each other. So she must’ve been surprised that I hugged her out of nowhere. I immediately apologized and, in a panic, pretended that I was trying to chase away a bug from her shoulder. It was not a very believable excuse, but Viola seemed to accept it.
After that, we sat down next to each other in silence. By the time she finally stopped crying, someone came to fetch her. I wasn’t able to say anything considerate, nor did I even comfort her. Even so, she thanked me before she left. Her kindness reaffirmed my love for her.
Later, I heard that a group of noble daughters had insulted her directly, so I warned them to never approach Viola again. It was effective, as they seemed to behave themselves after I told them off. Since the day I realized my affections for Viola, my emotions only became more and more intense.
“Are you looking at Viola again?” Rex said once. “I’m surprised you aren’t tired of seeing her face, considering you two have been together since you were babies.”
“I could never get enough of her. The more I look at her, the more I realize how cute she is.”
From how she did her best in everything she put her mind to despite how awkward she was with her hands, to how cute and kind she was, everything that made Viola Viola was precious to me. I loved every single part of her.
“If only you could say all that to Viola instead,” Rex sighed.
“I agree...”
The stronger my feelings got, the harder it was to speak in front of her. I must’ve been clinging onto my unshakable position as her fiancé. It was precisely because we would be together for the rest of our lives that I figured we could take our time to bond. I had no idea how much my attitude would hurt her, nor did I realize that it would cause such a deep misunderstanding in the near future.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Even though I realized my desire was to keep you safe and happy, all I’ve ever done since then is hurt you,” Phil concluded.
This was the first time I learned about Phil’s past feelings about me, and I could feel my heart swell with emotion. I could vividly recall the time that Phil mentioned, when he hugged me under the tree. At the time, I didn’t realize that he loved me because I had been so thoroughly convinced that there really had been a bug on my shoulder.
“I love you. I love how you always do your best even if things don’t go well, and how cute and kind you are.”
His earnest words penetrated the deepest parts of my heart and my vision blurred.
“The only times I feel anything are when they have to do with you.”
The intensity of the love he had for me—the love he still has for me—burned. I could feel it like an open wound.
“I could never think that you’re not a perfect fit for me. So, I want you to stop thinking that way. I like you just the way you are.”
“O-Okay!” Tears poured down my cheeks. I still didn’t like crying in front of other people, but that hardly mattered when it was Phil who was before me. “I love you too, Phil.”
Now, I truly loved him, this man who didn’t want or need me to change. “Thank you for liking me, even after all this time.”
We were only together like this now because he decided to come up with a ridiculous lie in the face of my faked amnesia. It was all thanks to the affections he’d always held for me.
“Thank you for liking me, even though I’m like this,” Phil said after taking a deep breath.
“Of course.”
He reached out and held my hand in his. I could feel his warmth in my palm and I soaked it up, savoring the sensation of happiness.