“You really need to talk more, Phil.”
“I’m sorry...”
When we both calmed down after a while, we sat down on the sofa and talked things out. Now I realized just how many misunderstandings there were between us. Apparently, when he had said, “So do I,” after I said I hated him, it was because he meant, “I hate myself as well.” Unless I had psychic powers, there was no way I would’ve ever figured that out by myself.
“Ever since I was a child, my mind would go blank around you and I couldn’t think of anything to say.”
“Be that as it may, I can’t understand you unless you use your words.”
“Yes, I’m truly sorry... That’s why I thought it was a given you’d hate someone like me. Despite being prepared for that, I was sick in bed for two weeks after you told me you hated me.”
I didn’t know what he’d gone through, but that made me feel terrible. I still wished he would’ve said something to me beforehand though.
“I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you for everything. Please forgive me,” he continued.
“Er, you don’t have to take it so seriously... Oh, that reminds me, what did you mean by ‘just seeing your face made me happy’ back when I first pretended to have amnesia?”
“Um... Those were my own feelings...”
Apparently, he had been introducing himself in an explanation to me about myself.
“Were you jealous seeing me talk to other men?”
“Yes. I was under the impression you loved Cyril.”
“Is that why you lied and told me that I hated him?”
For a very long while, Lord Phillip didn’t open his mouth until finally, in a voice so quiet I could hardly hear him, he said, “I’m sorry.”
He buried his face into his hands. If I continued to bring up his past lies, there was a chance that he’d put an ice bucket over his head again. The mental image of that made me laugh a little, and he stared at me in confusion.
“Phil, I love you.”
“I do as well... I love you so much that I don’t even know what to do with myself.”
Like always, he finished off his confession like he was about to start crying. The sight of him filled my chest with love, and I wished that I could stay by his side forever more.
✦ ✦ ✦
“What nice weather we have today,” I said.
“I agree. Should we go out into the garden later?” Phil replied.
“Oh, that sounds good. We should invite Little Vio too.”
I smiled and then turned my gaze from House Lawrenson’s manor’s window to my beloved sitting across from me. About a week had passed since I confessed my feelings to Phil. After our talk, I told my parents, Jamie, and Lord Cedric about my fake amnesia and apologized. No one got mad; instead, they were glad that I had cleared up all of my misunderstandings with Phil. All of the most precious people around me were so kind and gentle that I swore to never lie to them ever again.
As for my other acquaintances, they only knew that my memories had returned. Lady Natalia knew about my deception, but after I told her everything, she had said, “Hmm, I see. I don’t hate you when you’re not all mopey, so I’ll keep your secret!”
“If you’re free next week, would you like to go eat with me? There’s a restaurant I’d like to go to,” I said.
“Of course, if you’re all right with me accompanying you,” Phil replied.
“You’re the only one I’d want with me... Um, what are you doing?”
For some reason, he was pinching his own cheek with a perplexed look on his face.
“I’m so happy that I can hardly believe this is all real.”
“Oh you. You’re going to ruin your pretty face.” I reached my hand out and gently took hold of his hand. When I linked her fingers together, his face flushed a deep crimson. “All of this is real. Don’t worry.”
“Sometimes I can’t even believe that you like me back...”
“Oh you,” I said again. I’d confessed to him multiple times, and yet he couldn’t stop saying such things. I couldn’t help but laugh. “It looks like I haven’t gotten through to you just how much I love you.”
“How much is that?”
“Do you want to know?”
“Yes.”
It seemed he was serious about that, and he stared at me with a solemn expression on his face. Neither of us were the talkative type, so we’d been completely oblivious to each other’s feelings for the longest time. So I decided that I would communicate to him my honest feelings as many times as he needed. I gave my beloved a bright and toothy smile.
“I’m infatuated.”