A navy-blue sky stretched above like endless curtains of velvet. The stars seemed to sing as they glittered across its surface.
How beautiful, I thought as I lay on the grass by the lake, a little ways from the tent, gazing up at the distant starlit heavens.
The seafood curry dinner had been outrageously delicious, but my spirits remained low.
I was fed up with my own clumsiness. Lady Mamaropa had warmly welcomed Kira and me when we returned from the bathhouse. I’d wanted to help her prep the meal, so I’d offered to assist, but the result had been a disaster—I’d cut my finger with a knife, dropped plates, and burned myself grabbing the pot with my bare hands.
Although I could heal my injuries immediately with magic, when Lady Mamaropa expressed concern and said, “Please leave this to us,” I couldn’t exactly argue. In the end, I’d had to leave everything to Lady Mamaropa and Kira again. After dinner, I’d said something about going to look at the scenery and exited the tent.
As I lay there, feeling pathetic about myself, my tears blurred the sky.
“Why can’t I do anything right...?”
“Evelyn?”
“Wah!”
I sat up in surprise.
Lady Mamaropa had to have just returned from a bathhouse. Her long hair was loose, hanging down her back, which made her look younger. Her flushed cheeks were so alluring my heart could’ve burst right then and there.
Did she hear me just now?
Despite my inward embarrassment, I tried to maintain my composure and forced a smile.
Lady Mamaropa tucked her hair behind her ear and tilted her head. “May I sit next to you?”
“Y-Yes.”
“Thank you.”
When she sat, a pleasant fragrance wafted past my nose. Not curry—hair oil, perhaps.
“Evelyn, is something troubling you?”
“Huh...?”
“Sometimes you look so sad. Is it because of the fight you had with your family?”
Lady Mamaropa wasn’t trying to pry. She was endlessly serene, calm, composed like the twinkling stars. Her expression was gentle as she looked at me.
Is that why I’m sad? I wondered.
But then my true feelings quietly slipped out.
“I don’t have any abilities.”
“Abilities?”
“Yes. Things I could show off to others. Things I could be proud of. I have nothing like that at all.”
Kira was composed and intelligent. Lord Theodore was gentle and an excellent administrator of his territory. Lady Europa had her...strange side, but she’d mastered a noble lady’s mannerisms.
Everyone around me was so amazing. I envied them. And I couldn’t help but feel frustrated with myself for not being able to be like them.
“They hired tutors for me, and I tried to study embroidery and etiquette, but the teachers refused to teach me anything at all. They didn’t criticize me. They didn’t get mad at me. I think they just...gave up on me because I can’t do anything right.”
Of course, much of it was probably consideration for my position. But it seemed obvious to me that they’d refused to give me any instruction because they hadn’t expected me to succeed. Thinking that made me sad. I felt pathetic. My heart hurt.
“That’s right, baaa. You’re hopelessly baaad at everything you do, baaa!”
Ugh. It’s that weird voice again...
From far away, I could hear someone saying discouraging things and going “baaa baaa.”
I held my head and trembled when my gaze met Lady Mamaropa’s. She was staring intently at me.
Oh no! I just dumped all my woes on someone I’ve only just met!
Flustered, I tried to stand up.
“I-I’m sorry! That was weird! Please forget all about it!”
Lady Mamaropa gripped my arm. In a quiet tone, she said, “Please wait, Evelyn.”
The “baaa baaa” faded into the distance, and all I could hear were the sounds of buzzing insects and Lady Mamaropa’s quiet breaths.
“Thank you for sharing what’s in your heart,” she said. “And...there’s something I want to tell you.”
“Y-Yes?”
“You’ve been working really hard.”
I was not expecting those words. I didn’t know what to say and just froze.
“You said you have no abilities, but that’s not true,” she continued. “I saw your healing magic earlier. It’s tremendously outstanding, isn’t it?”
“But that’s not an ability, it’s just a thing I can do...”
As a saint, my primary duty was to dispel miasma. Healing magic was a secondary thing.
“What do you mean, ‘a thing you can do’?” she pressed.
“Well...”
I dug through my dormant memories. Healing magic wasn’t important to a saint. So why had I continued to practice it?
“When I was little, I used to read this story about a princess who healed the wounds of heroes.”
Lady Mamaropa nodded encouragingly.
“Whenever I read that story, I was struck by how wonderful it was. The princess didn’t just heal her friends’ wounds—she healed their hearts and inspired them to stand up and fight again. So...I figured I wanted to be like that too, someday.”
“Hey, Evelyn,” she whispered, cupping my cheeks with her warm hands. “Don’t you see it? You’re just as admirable as that princess.”
“I... I am?”
“Even without any praise, you spent years putting your all into healing magic, just to help wounded strangers you never even met. Right?” She smiled softly. “So I will offer you all the praise you never got.” Her hands moved to my head and patted it over and over. “You’re amazing.”
My breath caught at the sensation of her gentle hands. It felt like truly distant memories, somewhere far away, were being awakened.
“You’re such a hard worker, Evelyn. You’re incredible.”
“Oh...”
I couldn’t help myself, and my eyes filled with tears. Lady Mamaropa pulled me into a tight hug as I broke into sobs.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Everyone loves you. That’s why nobody scolds you or gets mad.”
I gasped.
“So don’t be so blue. Don’t put yourself down. Hold your head high. That’s more than enough.”
Ah. Yes. I remembered now. Lady Mamaropa was just like her.
She’s so much like my mom.
I barely had any memories of my mother, who had passed away when I was young. But I remembered some things, if only vaguely. Her hands holding me close. Her soft cheek against mine. Being with Lady Mamaropa made me recall my mother’s warmth, and made me realize how much I missed it. That was why her touch was so comforting.
As she held me and I continued to cry, Lady Mamaropa called out toward the nearby bushes, “Kira, come here too. I’ll hug you both.”
“No, I was just...”
Kira had been worried about me too, it seemed. But with my tear-streaked face buried in Lady Mamaropa’s chest, I couldn’t raise my head at all to look.
“Come here, Kira.”
She beckoned with her hand, and Kira’s resolve must’ve broken, because I could hear his soft footsteps.
“H-Hey, wait...” he said, his flustered voice sounding very close. He was probably also being hugged.
“You’re an adorable boy, Kira,” she said. “A very kind one. You’re always on guard to protect Evelyn from anything scary, aren’t you?”
“That’s not true,” Kira muttered.
“It’s all right. I’m here now. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s okay...”
I closed my eyes, listening to the steady thumping of her heart. More tears spilled down my cheeks.
“Both of you are so good,” she whispered.
Kira and I remained buried against her warm chest for a while.