Now, back to where we started.
After my fight with Lord Theodore last night and my disaster of a walking lesson today, I was at my wit’s end. Truly, when it rained, it poured.
I bawled my eyes out in my room, then sat on the bed, sniffling and hugging my knees. Without saying anything, just offering his presence, Kira gave me great reassurance.
“Hey, Kira, what do you think of the way I walk?” I asked, wiping at the corners of my eyes with the back of my hand.
Maybe my perception was off. Maybe my manners were perfect in every way—so perfect that the teachers couldn’t offer any guidance because I’d reached such an overwhelmingly high level. That would be the best-case scenario.
Kira tilted his head, puzzled. “You wobble and bump into shelves and stuff a lot.”
“Right?! I always wobble! I bump my head on shelves! I trip over steps!”
He was the only one who saw my actual level of skill, which was zero! I nodded vigorously at the validation. Even if it was a little depressing.
“But my instructors keep flattering me because I’m the count’s fiancée! I’m so fed up with all of it! At this rate, I’ll never become a proper noble lady!” I lamented, tears welling up in my eyes again.
As he watched my cheeks grow wet once more, Kira muttered, “I don’t think they’re flattering you.”
“Huh? What?”
Kira shook his head gently and closed the thick encyclopedia he’d been reading with a snap. “Maybe you need to take a break.”
“Why?”
“You’ve been cooped up in here lately. A little fresh air might cheer you up.”
He had a point. Now that he mentioned it, I really didn’t leave the guesthouse much these days. The newly appointed Saint Europa had made me promise to come visit her at the basilica every day, but Lord Theodore had told me not to worry about it, thankfully. What a terrifying commitment I’d made! Anyway, I’d taken him at his word and hardly been to the capital recently. Lady Europa hadn’t reached out either, so I figured Lord Theodore had made her see reason.
“Say, Kira, is there anywhere you want to go?” I asked, completely on board.
Kira’s lips curled slightly. “Karin said before that beyond the woods north of Semme there’s a big lake that’s especially beautiful this time of the year. It’s called the Cradle of Jewels, and there’s some mysterious legend surrounding it.”
“That sounds lovely!”
What a romantic name—the Cradle of Jewels. I had some unpleasant memories of that forest, but visiting the lake sounded very fun.
If only Lord Theodore could come too. The thought arose unbidden, and I vigorously shook my head. Wait, no! We had an argument!
The memory of last night’s fight came flooding back. Rather than feeling irritated, though, I was just sad that Lord Theodore hadn’t understood me at all. The feeling was like a lump in my heart. I wanted to make up with him, of course, but that would be difficult if he couldn’t grasp the source of my pain.
Trying to will away the image of Lord Theodore’s smiling face, I exclaimed, “Then let’s go! Right now!”
“What? Now?”
“Now!”
We had to strike while the iron was hot! It was still morning, so if we left now, we could probably be back by evening. I rose from the bed and brought my index finger to my lips, making Kira blink in surprise.
“Let’s go without telling anyone,” I said quietly.
“We’re sneaking out? Why?”
“Because if I tell them I want to go out, we’ll have guards and maids and lots of people tagging along.” Which would ruin the point of a break! It’d be suffocating, really.
Kira nodded reluctantly. “Sure, I mean... I don’t mind.”
Yes!
Although...now that I thought about it, leaving willy-nilly wasn’t right. I asked Kira to wait a moment, then took some stationery out of my desk.
“I’ll write a letter to Lord Theo—erm, to Karin and the others. Kira, can you go get ready in the meantime?”
“All right.”
I’d said letter, but an ordinary letter wouldn’t do. After Kira left, I pulled several poetry collections Lord Jackson had given me for my studies from a bookshelf. The instructors might’ve turned into flattery machines, but I wanted to take this opportunity to demonstrate fully that I was teaching myself as much as possible so I could become a refined lady.
“Let’s see, the poetry collection about a traveler’s heart...”
I flipped through the collection and quoted various phrases from it, adding references and echoing expressions to craft a truly satisfying message.
Thus, after much struggle, I said, “Phew! All done!”
I gave my completed letter another read and was content with its quality. It was full of lyrical, poetic expressions that easily conveyed I was going out briefly. Perfect, if I did say so myself.
With that done, I changed from my gown into simple clerical robes. I was no longer the saint, but I still felt the most comfortable in this outfit.
I left the room just as Kira emerged from the adjacent room, having finished his own preparations.